Re: I'm in the wrong but so confused
Hi
firstly its great that you had the courage to admit you were wrong. and not blamed him or anything else.
I know its hard at such times when things go wrong and it feels you don’t know what you want and feel lost as its hard for you to be feeling so low as its hard for him to be hurt like this. But you have to step back out of all of this and look at yourself and your husband and think about what you want in this life, like...
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him or not, Do you love him and do you want make things right or not...
To me, cheating is the hardest thing to deal with, and if he is still with you, then that is the biggest sign that he actually wants to try.. and don’t expect him to more than that... and if you asked yourself and found that you love him.. and i think you do, or at least for sure you care very much... then do what ever it takes to fix everything.. and the only way to do so it to go all out and give him all the love you can like never before and as there is no physical relationship involved he would probably get over it if you tried your best.
And honestly his request to ask you to stop working there is reasonable and fair too. It will be hard for you, but marriage is worth it and its the only way to build the trust again, as without trust it will never work again. and if its very hard to leave your job... then may be show him that you are welling to do anything for him and start looking for other jobs just to make him feel comfertable and that you are doing soemthign for him.. be and open book and give him every reason to trust you.. and you never know may be he will and wouldnt need to change your work.
Finally, Dont put yourself down, you both are equal as he could be clever and has strong personality. But am sure you have many things special about you too. You had tough life and you came out of it fine so always look up and try your best and you will be ok.
For why you have cheated... no reason will justify it to him even if it sounded good to you... so just admit you were wrong to him and say sorry... but still try to find the true reason you cheated for yourself.. and then work on so you wont fall on such thing again... and if it’s something because of your past or of how your husband for example not giving you attention or love you needed... then try to hold on strong till this hard time passes and as soon as things get better bring it up and try to explain to him how you feel without bringing it as the reason for cheating but as you asking for his help and support.
Wish you best of luck
Last edited by abely; 1st July 2011 at 03:08 PM.
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