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Old 7th March 2009, 09:54 PM   #1
NeilRX1
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2
Wife needs " Me time"

where do I begin,I have been with my wife for 6 years married for 2, we have had some good times and some bad times, I love this woman and she is my life, she moved here for me from a small town up north after we met on the internet"not on a dating site just a chat room" she flew to meet me being 8 hours away, we fell in love and continued to see eachother when we could, we decided to go for it and she moved her, she has 2 kids from another relationship not a marrige. We were totaly happy and I loved her, and so did my family so I asked her to marry me, We have had up and downs, I got sick with panic attatcks and went on medication, she was loving and there for me, and then my father passed away just before we got married,and was very supportive. I did not work for sometime after my dad passed and had troubles getting modivated and was deppressed, as anyone would imagine its hard to be a step father to 2 kids that arnt yours, having to constinly creat boundries of dicipline and meeting in the middle, we have fought about that, as I say she always baby's them, and to try harder to creat structure in their lives ie. cleaning,respect for their things. in the recent year I tried to start my own business and get that going and she was very supportive at first but decided that I needed to work in orer to stay afloat. She has also complained that I havnt been spending and doing "quality things withe family" and spending to much time with my buddies. I know I should spend more time with the family, but I explained I needed her to be happier and more modivated and show me more love, We because of me not working was asked to leave our present rental unit and now we have to move, plus we have recentlyben told our daughter has ADHD and needs special attention. She has also been going through hormonal imbalances as she is getting sometime 2 week periods as a result of a recent tubal reversal surger we got a few months ago. We have been fighting and not seeing eye to eye lately and she told me she wanted to try and make things better, Money problems, family kids, moving, US have pushed her to a breaking point and yesterday she told me she wanted some "me time" to figure out who she is and why she cant be happpy, I dont want to lose my wife but I am devistated, she says she still loves me, but doesnt know how much and feels that she is "empty" and doesnt want to fight anymore and just wantes to move and doesnt know what she wants with anything not just with me" I respectfully left the house, and have been staying away, but I want to help her... is she just stressd? our has had enough of the marrige, she says she doesnt know..... an suggestions??
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Old 8th March 2009, 10:07 PM   #2
JWD
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Re: Wife needs " Me time"

The only thing to do is give her space I think. It's so hard isn't it. Will she go to counselling?
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Old 9th March 2009, 11:57 PM   #3
NeilRX1
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2
Re: Wife needs " Me time"

I have offered up the idea of counselling and she insits that she wants to get counselling on her own, but I have heard her speak of this before and never done anything. After my last blog I recieved an text message from her asking her to come and pick up some laundry that I had requested the night I left and on the text also said to come and pick the cloths up when our children go to their swimming lessons, this was the night after I left she was very angry, sayn that I had left a message on a facebook status sayn that I "miss my wife and kids" and she was upset sayng that she didnt want anyone to know what was going on, because she didnt want to expain to her family why her husband isnt home. And was also angry that I told the kids that I was going away for a while and didnt know when I was coming home , she said I didnt have to do that because she was the one who had to pick up the peices when I left, I explained I was just telling them because as I was leaving I was emotional nd felt they should know so they didnt wonder where I was. I told her that I loved her and wanted to come home and she said "not right now" insitsting that she needs to move outta this " crappy" place(we didnt leave on good terms with the landords) and get into the new place and focus her emotions on the kids and her feeling as well. I didnt feel llike I was getting anywhere, I continued to explain to her that a marrige requires work, and that after 2 years of marrige it wasnt enough time to give up? I havnt spoken to her since sat, and I went on sunday to go get my cloths, and that morning I worte a letter explaing that I wasnt willing to give up and I wanted to fight for our marrige, but that I also would respect her time. I also bought her flowers and laid the note and the flowers on the bed, I have to talk to her by friday to discuss finances that we together have made commitments as well as our monthly bills, that she cant avoid as you know in a mrrige everything is united, including our bank account etc. Also throughout this whole thing we were moving in the process of packing and she is planning on moving but hasnt told me how? she obviously hasnt thought this through, I asked her Sat night if I could still help her move and she said" I will think about it" so I am thinking about writing an email wendesday asking her to call me thursday to talk about the finances, as well as moving and asking her if I can still help. I have also made the last 2 day productiverly and have looked up some pedeiatricians in our area to help her with that, and slowly outside show her I am willing to change and be a family man....anyone have any suggestions.
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Old 10th March 2009, 01:13 AM   #4
JWD
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Join Date: Feb 2009
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Re: Wife needs " Me time"

Hmmm you are persuing her when she has asked for space. She will be angry about facebook and telling the kids because maybe she didn't know how long she wanted you away and the kids will keep asking, maybe she is trying to protect them.

I think you should leave her be for a little while. Very hard to do.

go to divorcebursers.com you'll see my same whining posts there too
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