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Old 16th March 2016, 10:38 PM   #1
Goodlife1
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 4
Mother in law crossing boundaries- Help needed

Hello everyone,

I have been having difficulty with my mother in law since the time we got married about 2 years ago, and I would appreciate any advice on how to deal with this. My mother in law, buys us tons of foods (veggies, fruits, random household items) on sale and gives to my hubby when he visits her every weekend. Not only that, she cooks enough dinners for 5 days and gives them to my hubby to take home. This has been going on since the beginning of our marriage.

Now, I want to cook for my hubby, buy our household things ourselves, and essentially build our own little cozy nest for my hubby and me, our own little world. It is really hard to do with my mother in law sending tons of stuff every darn Sunday!!

First of all, is this even something you would consider normal? I have tried talking to my husband many times about this, but it he isn't very receptive about my objection. He thinks that since his mother uses coupons and buys things on super sale, it is good for us that she is saving money. But, honestly, my hubby and I are in our late 30s, and I think we need space from his mother, to form our own shopping routines and see what methods work best for our weekly schedules and needs.

In addition, I strongly object to his mom sending us cooked food enough for 5 dinners! I feel that by doing this she is really crossing boundaries. As a couple, I want us to have our own little traditions and customs, little things that happen when you grow and share life together as a couple. For example, have special sunday night meal menu. Or a little something special to surprise him during the week. How is that possible if he always feels obliged to eat his mom's food?

We have had several arguments over this. Last Sunday, my hubby was really busy, and told his mom that he would be unable to visit her and that she shouldn't worry about food etc. And guess what she did! She drove all the way in pouring rain to us with 5 cooked dinners for the week! I want to cook for my own family and want my husband to eat it! My husband does like my food and I have been complimented by his friends as well.

My husband makes sure to eat his mom's food when she brings, and which she does without fail. Its been 2 years! Im frustrated. How do I enforce some boundaries.

Greatful for all or any advice from you all,

Thanks!
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