I'm generally in favour of trying to repair a marriage. But your posts depict a man with deep-seated issues of control and entitlement - which I don't believe will be fixed any time soon (or ever!). Stating the obvious, he doesn't see anything wrong with the way he is so there's no further point in trying to encourage him to change.
Amber, you took the biggest step you could towards prompting his desire to change when you served your divorce. Instead of forcing him to recognise his faults - and to work harder at keeping you happy - he has simply used your statements as evidence of your wrongness (in his eyes) ... and has punished you for it.
He cares nothing for your happiness, only for his own power over you.
Reading your last post above, I found myself muttering "he's insane!" Honestly, the story about your dinner date and the car makes absolutely no sense - except to a crazy person. He's got issues all right, and you've already done everything you can to get him to see that. He doesn't.
Further: Hitting you and your child - even just the once - is unacceptable. Nobody lashes out
only once. Choose to stay, and I believe you will be choosing to live with escalating violence.
The long-term effect on your children hardly bears thinking about. What they have learned about adult relationships, so far, is: [1] Marriage is about control & resistance; [2] A husband should hit, punish, abandon and steal from his wife; [3] Married people are happiest when apart.
Lovely. Are you sure you want this for them?
In your case, Amber, I'm delighted that you found yourself saying you wanted out. You should listen to your self more! Doubtless, this will be easier when your mind's not constantly overwhelmed by trying to anticipate your husband's next attack.
I understand your thoughts around setting up shared lodgings in your home. However, I think he will continue to control you from there. You're susceptible to his manipulations; why on earth would he give it up just because you have separate bedrooms?
It looks like a very good idea to talk with your mother in detail. Ask her to help you write a summary of the faults in your marriage (print out this thread for her, too). Then ask her to help you find trustworthy legal advice. It may be possible for you to keep your home & business - without having to share it with your oppressor.
I know you're not ready to hear this, Amber. You're an amazingly tolerant individual, with extraordinary good will
So I'll simply ask you to turn your talent for helping on yourself for a while!
And please, please talk to your mum.
Much love,
AG