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Old 17th January 2011, 10:19 PM   #1
david
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Help me

Hi all

It's my first posting on here. I hope to gain new friends.

I am 43. My wife is 46. We have been married for 21 years and have 2 children aged 12 & 17. My sons is special needs.

After Christmas my wife told me that she couldn't cope anymore and that she had been pretending everything had been ok for years. At the moment she wants to give the impression to the children that everything is normal. My mother is very ill and our daughter is taking A levels. She asked me to say nothing to anyone until the A levels were over and the prognosis for my sick mother was known. I wasn't keen but went along with it as I saw as an opportunity for getting the marriage back on track.

The failing has been a lack of attention and interest in ourselves. I have been a poor communicator and not read my wifes signs of unhappiness. Added to this my wife has to lay on my sons bed each night until he is asleep this has done nothing for our relationship

As far as I know there are no affairs, although she has had some personal emails on facebook, I am content there is nothing to them.

I am arranged counselling for myself. My wife has refused to go and is angry even about me going to counselling saying she is the one who needs to feel better.

Although we talk when we can now, she drinks more wine and remains angry with me. She won't even walk the dog with me.

To give her time & space I decided to sleep in the spare room to show that I care.

I really don't know how long things will take to mend. She seems aggresive and I suspect that we both need the support of our wider family. Recovery without counscelling will be down to good communication and getting to know each other. Personally, although 3 weeks clearly is not long, I cannot cope with this for longer than say 2 months. I simply cannot see things getting better.

Last edited by david; 17th January 2011 at 10:21 PM. Reason: typing
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