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Old 27th July 2011, 12:50 PM   #256
Raymond
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Re: What can I do?

I think personally a lot revolves around the trust aspect. You hear me say that trust takes the longest to build up but can be broken the quickest. Who's not to say that the trust is slowly mending but she is not quite there yet. It is not for us to measure how long it will take before she trusts again. If this is the case it would be unwise to pull out. Ask yourself how long it takes us to trust someone if ever. You will usually find it took a long time, even years in some cases. I am not saying this will take years but I am trying to point out that things to do with trust do usually take a long time especially when it has been broken.
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Old 27th July 2011, 08:27 PM   #257
abely
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Re: What can I do?

Very wise words Raymond...
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Old 28th July 2011, 11:35 AM   #258
Sillyman
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Re: What can I do?

Raymond,

Many thanks. Your words are correct - it's a slow process, which is very frustrating, but the changes in my wife suggest there is hope, so I must stay with it.

I'm sure things will develop then I'll see where we go from there.

SM
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Old 28th July 2011, 01:17 PM   #259
Raymond
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Re: What can I do?

Don't lose heart SM. We have noticed a gradual melting from her over the months.
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Old 30th July 2011, 11:25 AM   #260
Chamomile
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Re: What can I do?

You don't need to worry, it's all in God's hand now.
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Old 30th July 2011, 10:23 PM   #261
Sillyman
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Re: What can I do?

Chamomile,

If he could give me a sign, I might believe :-)

SM
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Old 31st July 2011, 02:57 AM   #262
chosen
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Re: What can I do?

Ask Him to make Himself known to you. He is always there anyway. He is the best Dad ever, and I am sure that you could do with that right now.
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Old 31st July 2011, 11:15 AM   #263
Chamomile
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Re: What can I do?

Yes, Chosen.
SM, all the best anyway.
You are a Good man / a good Dad after all.
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Old 2nd August 2011, 04:26 PM   #264
Sillyman
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Re: What can I do?

Hi all,

Funny things been happening this week. Wife called me late last night asking for help to move stuff in her house while it's decorated. I was glad to help.

Then this morning she asked me to move stuff back while she's in work tonight. Again, happy to help.

We met for lunch and for me to take my daughter out and drop her off at her grandparents' house for the night. It was really nice - no tension, laughs, both of us swinging my daughter as we walked back. Then I dropped her off at work.

Then I had a text off my wife sharing a joke - just like it used to be.

I might sound like a mug for dropping everything to help her out, but it's just the way I am.

Although I don't expect all to be perfect from now, it's just another little thing that suggests she's thawing. Would someone ask for help from someone they despised? Before she'd walk over hot coals before asking for my support - now she's not so closed.

Just needed to share that.

SM
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Old 2nd August 2011, 04:30 PM   #265
abely
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Re: What can I do?

sounds great ... hope it gets even better and better...
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Old 2nd August 2011, 05:27 PM   #266
Helen_uk
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Re: What can I do?

It's a good sign SM and hopefully a sign that she's ready to forgive - I think you know well enough not to over read the situation or remark on it and ruin the progress you've made so far...Keep doing what you've been doing as it seems it just might be starting to work !
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Old 2nd August 2011, 06:04 PM   #267
Raymond
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Re: What can I do?

You always talked about swinging your daughter like the old days and it's happening. Clear progress. You know now that it must play out itself as Helen suggested.
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Old 3rd August 2011, 11:28 AM   #268
Sillyman
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Re: What can I do?

One thing I forgot to mention. My wife told me that my daughter has been asking if I can get her (my daughter) out of bed in the morning, like I used to.

There seems to be lots of things going on that are making her consider what's happening.

SM
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Old 3rd August 2011, 12:43 PM   #269
Raymond
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Re: What can I do?

That's wonderful if that can happen SM. At least sometimes. She obviously misses you. It shows a thaw that your wife conveyed this to you. One day your wife will make that decision I think. Your patience is getting results slowly and surely but obviously the final decision belongs to her alone and you musn't tamper with that. Just keep doing your bit.
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Old 3rd August 2011, 01:58 PM   #270
sammie38
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Re: What can I do?

It seems like progress is being made. Good luck and I hope things continue to move forward positively!
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