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Old 11th June 2015, 09:05 PM   #1441
Lindentree1
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Best of luck, Ralf. I'll miss you on here but you have to do what's best for yourself. Looking forward to your updates.
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Old 12th June 2015, 11:17 AM   #1442
ralfgarnett
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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Originally Posted by Lindentree1 View Post
Best of luck, Ralf. I'll miss you on here but you have to do what's best for yourself. Looking forward to your updates.
Thanks LDT not going anywhere as such just trying to break the pattern of the terrible rut I have got myself in to, it's soul destroying that I now seem to be doing the same things day in day out with no light at the end of the tunnel, so I'm just looking at ways to change all that and one of them is the forums I post on, I will still be around and as with now I will chip in, it's just that I need to do something different.
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Old 12th June 2015, 12:12 PM   #1443
chosen
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
I'm getting jaded on here, don't get me wrong I love the site it is a great help at times and I have become very fond of all those I interact with on here but I agree with NDY we don't seem to get anywhere, I think I am going to have a break from blogging and posting, I need to step out of the cyber world and in to the real world, as with many people in here I have genuine problems to deal with and to try to solve, and I am not going to do that by posting on line all the time, I want to do something tangible with my life I need to be doing something practical and I'm just not getting very far at the moment, my wife fell in love with a real man, a full man, a funny confident man, I want to be that man again, not just for her or any other woman but for me I want to be me again and the real me wouldn't of been in here all the time he would be out there winning I always won and I want to start winning again, good luck everyone I will be back but I don't know when.
This is what we have all been hoping for from you ralf.
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Old 14th June 2015, 10:41 AM   #1444
ralfgarnett
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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This is what we have all been hoping for from you ralf.
I'm trying the best I can to pull myself up by my boot laces, I need to do something as I am stuck in a terrible rut and a cloud of negativity and I don't like it one bit, I need to change the way that I act, feel, think, and behave because quite frankly I am below par and not up to my usual standards and being honest with myself it's just not good enough and really can't continue.
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Old 16th June 2015, 09:30 AM   #1445
ralfgarnett
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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You seem very down beat, I thought you would be pleased she answered you and has finally agreed. At least you will find out where you are. Why not arrange a date now?
I'm tired Chosen & LDT very tired, I would normally of had 2 holidays by now but all I have managed is one night away at easter, equally I am not impressed with her attitude and I don't like the gear changes I detect from her, today is her birthday and I hope it's the worst one in all her life and that her and all her family drown in a freak yachting incident, barring this of course I will arrange a date and time to meet up fairly soon but I just want her to stew a bit, and I want time to research, develop, and perfect what I need to say.
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Old 16th June 2015, 10:57 AM   #1446
chosen
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

ralf are you still delaying because you fear what she may say?
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Old 16th June 2015, 01:11 PM   #1447
ralfgarnett
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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ralf are you still delaying because you fear what she may say?
No, (as a born again Christian with 2 belly buttons to prove it) I give you my word that's not the case and I haven't thought about that for a while until you just mentioned it, to be honest I'm not feeling too good at the moment and have been back to my Dr this morning to do a bit of meds tweaking, my BP is up too which isn't like me, the last 2 times I had my BP tested it was perfect both times, I have never had problems with my BP and it has worried me a bit this morning, I have had to make an appointment to go back and see a nurse in 4 weeks time to have it checked again, but to answer your original question no I'm not avoiding meeting for fear of what I might hear, when we meet I want to be at my fighting best that I can be both physically and emotionally and right now neither boxes could be ticked, I'm not firing on all cylinders at the moment and I would rate myself about 60% out of 100.

Last edited by ralfgarnett; 16th June 2015 at 01:17 PM.
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Old 16th June 2015, 04:43 PM   #1448
chosen
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

I have high blood pressure and am on medication.
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Old 17th June 2015, 11:00 AM   #1449
ralfgarnett
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Hi chosen thankfully it's not massively high and the Dr wasn't too worried about it, but me being a worrier I am concerned about it because it has been spot on the last 2 times I had it tested but now its slightly high, I wonder if there is any connection with that and the chest pains I was getting or is it all just anxiety related I wonder ?.
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Old 17th June 2015, 12:26 PM   #1450
chosen
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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Hi chosen thankfully it's not massively high and the Dr wasn't too worried about it, but me being a worrier I am concerned about it because it has been spot on the last 2 times I had it tested but now its slightly high, I wonder if there is any connection with that and the chest pains I was getting or is it all just anxiety related I wonder ?.
I think its all anxiety related. I never got chest pains with high blood pressure. Anxiety can cause all sort of weird symptoms.
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Old 17th June 2015, 12:30 PM   #1451
ronnoco
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Hi Ralf,

I'm pretty sure it's a combination of anxiety and your body and mind completely drained form a year of limbo.

I had diarrhoea for about 6 months when my wife and I split, it was all linked.

This was kinda what I was getting at the other week in that I think for your own health and sanity you need to 'find peace' with it all. It is what it is, you can't change what's happened and it's all about accepting what's happened. Like I said before, there is a huge difference between accepting the situation and reaching true acceptance. Some people never reach the latter.

Ralf, if there any chance that your latest plan is to re-build both physically and mentally in hope that your wife will see the 'old Ralf'?
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Old 17th June 2015, 04:49 PM   #1452
ralfgarnett
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

"I had diarrhoea for about 6 months when my wife and I split, it was all linked"

that would be like a dream come true for me right now if you get my drift, WW and I have swapped a few mails past few days
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Old 17th June 2015, 05:17 PM   #1453
notDoneYet
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
"I had diarrhoea for about 6 months when my wife and I split, it was all linked"

that would be like a dream come true for me right now if you get my drift, WW and I have swapped a few mails past few days
What did they say? The emails that is. Remember one of the early rules? Listen to what she's 'really' saying to you. Not what you read but the hidden messages.

Let us know.
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Old 17th June 2015, 06:52 PM   #1454
chosen
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
"I had diarrhoea for about 6 months when my wife and I split, it was all linked"

that would be like a dream come true for me right now if you get my drift, WW and I have swapped a few mails past few days
ARe you asking her what she wants to do?
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Old 17th June 2015, 07:28 PM   #1455
Lindentree1
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
"I had diarrhoea for about 6 months when my wife and I split, it was all linked"

that would be like a dream come true for me right now if you get my drift, WW and I have swapped a few mails past few days
Are the emails more business or personal? Are you encouraged, Ralf?
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