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Old 19th March 2015, 06:56 PM   #1
Lindentree1
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Oh no...oh no...

My husband just wrote me an email...like a coward, he couldn't say it to my face. After 13 years of marriage, 15 years of knowing him, he couldn't say it to my face.

He said he didn't want to try again. He said our marriage is over. A few days ago he said there were still emotions between us. Now it's over.

I called him. I tried to reason with him. He told me twice he didn't love me. Oh, it hurts so much. I am crying as I write this. I can't believe he would lead me on all these months saying he hadn't made a decision, and now he makes a decision without even seeing me.

I can't stop crying. I can't believe he would do this. I can't believe such a huge part of my life is over. I can't believe he would be so cold...

Someone, please say something. Someone, please help...

Last edited by Lindentree1; 19th March 2015 at 07:26 PM.
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Old 19th March 2015, 07:57 PM   #2
chosen
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

I am so very sorry LT, how horrible for you, and how cowardly not to even tell you face to face. The only positive thing is that you know where you are now and you can make arrangements for the future not being in constant limbo, but of course you are too hurt right now to see this. .
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Old 19th March 2015, 07:58 PM   #3
Raymond
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

That's devastating Lindentree to smash all your hope for your marriage in one go. I can never understand that as I see marriage as a commitment for life. Your life was wrapped up in his and now this. We live in black days where this sort of thing is rife. My heart goes out to you in this betrayal of all you gave and worked for.

I have never been through that like others on here but you have to keep hope. There is life after this as bad as it is. You cannot see that now but you will. In a sense it will only be up from here once it has all sunk in.
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Old 19th March 2015, 08:17 PM   #4
Lindentree1
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

You both have no idea what your messages meant to me. They are like a lifeline right now. I am still crying, and I have never felt worse in my life. To have someone that has said "I love you" thousands of times tell you they don't love you is so devastating. I have no words for the pain I feel right now.
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Old 19th March 2015, 08:45 PM   #5
ralfgarnett
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

God bless you LDT my heart goes out to you, I am not going to beat about the bush here but right now there is not very much that anyone can say that will ease your instant pain, have you got anyone close by that can come to be with you or vice versa, you need to be able to talk with someone and to cry your eyes out ffor as much and as long as you need to, you sound such a lovely person to be treated like that is unforgiveable and heart breaking, I wsih there was some way I could talk to you live even if it was just messenger we could swap messages live, let me think about that because I could pm you my FB link and we could catch up that way, but only if you wanted to or felt it necessary or you could PM me yours either way the offer is there is you want it, I know our time differences are different but either way I just want you to know that I am thiking of you and I feel your pain so much, if you feel up to it keep posting or if you can go find someone to be with please don't be alone right now unless you want to of course, thinking of you god bless xx

PS, I meant to add that mine also did it by answerphone, text, email and she admitted she was being a coward because that's what they are gutless low life cowards, but were not we can hold OUR heads high knowing that that WE have done nothing wrong and that WE WILL continue to do nothing wrong unlike those bustards that have treated US so badly, you know where I am keep posting your not alone we on here will be there for you and will do our best to look after you.

Last edited by ralfgarnett; 19th March 2015 at 08:54 PM.
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Old 19th March 2015, 08:50 PM   #6
Lindentree1
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Thanks, Ralf. You are so sweet. I have had an entire bottle of wine--I never drink. I'm sorry, I'm not even on Facebook but you are so kind to offer your help. I treasure your kindness. This is absolutely the worst day of my life. I never truly believed my marriage was over until today. He is a coward. A coward. He could have told me to my face. After all these years, didn't I deserve that?
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Old 19th March 2015, 08:55 PM   #7
Lindentree1
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Something has truly died today. I'm ashamed that I am so distraught. I am ashamed that I am so weak. The wine has truly hit me. I sent a bunch of angry emails to my STBX. And I don't even care.
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Old 19th March 2015, 08:59 PM   #8
ralfgarnett
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Yes you deserve much better than that, I am not going to lecture you drinking but please be carefull I got myself in a few pickles when it first happened, cant say I blame you though what else are you supposed to do, I only went on FB a couple of months ago only for the instant messenger nothing else just to give me another option for company in the evenings and bad times, consider it you will be surprised how usefull the instant messaging can be at the bad times
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Old 19th March 2015, 09:04 PM   #9
ralfgarnett
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindentree1 View Post
Something has truly died today. I'm ashamed that I am so distraught. I am ashamed that I am so weak. The wine has truly hit me. I sent a bunch of angry emails to my STBX. And I don't even care.
He deserves to be told get it out of your system what have you got to lose ?, your not being weak its called human nature you have nothing to be ashamed of, I am keeping your post open so I can read and reply to your posts, I will refresh the page every few minutes to see if you have replied then I will answer back to you, I'm even having a beer with you now, cheers.
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Old 19th March 2015, 09:16 PM   #10
Lindentree1
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
He deserves to be told get it out of your system what have you got to lose ?, your not being weak its called human nature you have nothing to be ashamed of, I am keeping your post open so I can read and reply to your posts, I will refresh the page every few minutes to see if you have replied then I will answer back to you, I'm even having a beer with you now, cheers.
Don't you think writing it all was so cowardly? After all these years, we deserve better. Why are some people so selfish? I hope I don't regret all this tomorrow, as I am still tipsy from the wine. I am hurting. And your concern, Ralf, has helped enormously. My STBX took me to England, India, France, and Italy, and many places in the U.S. I thought we were happy. What a fool I was. I just am not understanding all this. He wrote, "I can't deny my hopes for the future." What a complete jerk he is. How could he be so cruel? We got married 13 years ago this month. His timing is impeccable. My God.
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Old 19th March 2015, 09:19 PM   #11
ralfgarnett
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindentree1 View Post
Don't you think writing it all was so cowardly? After all these years, we deserve better. Why are some people so selfish? I hope I don't regret all this tomorrow, as I am still tipsy from the wine. I am hurting. And your concern, Ralf, has helped enormously. My STBX took me to England, India, France, and Italy, and many places in the U.S. I thought we were happy. What a fool I was. I just am not understanding all this. He wrote, "I can't deny my hopes for the future." What a complete jerk he is. How could he be so cruel? We got married 13 years ago this month. His timing is impeccable. My God.
yep we did the same and yes they are cowardly, yes hes a jerk so is my wife, in fact they aren't just jerks they are a bunch of twots and low life scum dwelling bustards
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Old 19th March 2015, 09:28 PM   #12
ralfgarnett
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Its 8-25pm here UK time I will be around until about 9-00pm UK so about another 35 minutes or so
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Old 19th March 2015, 09:35 PM   #13
Lindentree1
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
Its 8-25pm here UK time I will be around until about 9-00pm UK so about another 35 minutes or so
I thought of everything nasty thing I could write to him and wrote it. Embarrassing. But he opened the floodgates today. Tomorrow I will be stronger. But today I can make no such promises.

You have been a star for me today, Ralf. You too, Chosen and Raymond. It's only 3:35 p.m. where I am. It's going to be a very long day.
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Old 19th March 2015, 09:38 PM   #14
ralfgarnett
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

don't put too much pressure on yourself if your stronger tomorrow great if not don't worry about it.
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Old 19th March 2015, 09:41 PM   #15
Lindentree1
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

We truly know what it's like to have promises made that were broken--not by us, but by people we loved so much. We were faithful, patient, waiting. How does true love die? How can people who promise forever walk away? I could live to be 90 like my grandparents on my father's side and never understand this. : (
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