OK, I have taken a few days out to try and get myself sorted and failed miserably! However, due to the persistence of one particular forum friend I am looking at things from a slightly different perspective.
As most of you know I suffer from depression and my natural defense is to isolate myself. When I posted last time it was really when I needed help the most (lucky most of you have my MSN, Facebook and Mobile#) so no time for me to wallow in self pity.
I am determined to kick this dog off my back, so I humbly request that you ignore any messages from me regarding things like not posting anymore, ending friendships and acquaintances. This is the depression talking, not me. I am still in here somewhere!
One thought that has been reoccurring over the last few days is about not being able to have a meaningful relationship again, because of my mental condition. I hurt everyone around me and don't want to put anyone though the things that I am capable of. How a certain someone puts up with me is beyond my comprehension, but it helps me immeasurably.
I have decided to give myself the goal of visiting my relatives in Australia. Hopefully this will remove the day-to-day boredom and give my overactive mind something to focus on.
Mark x