Separation

Hello people back again, I've told a couple of close friends just so I don't burst
When I told them I asked them not to ask and say to much as I was ready, the respect it which was nice

As for other events, she said she need to pop out for a couple of hours to see him and sort a few things out

I said fine, what else is there to say

I asked for her to say how long she would be and text if anything changed

Guess what, the 4th hour has passed and I've had no text

I'm not even angry just disappointed and sad that I mean so little

Never mind, I'm not overly surprised to be honest

[ronnoco]

Are you still living together? - that must suck....

If the lease is in your name and she wants to leave you for another man, i'd tell her to be out in 2 weeks....why not? it's your house. I think she's taking a diabolic liberty. Why can't she stay with friends or family?

People who become infatuated change...they really do. It will take you some time to adapt and overcome the betrayal.

Don't ask her for any more texts, you need to stop all that and start doing more of this : -

http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/forum...d.php?p=256158

[chosen]

Originally Posted by ronnoco

Are you still living together? - that must suck....

If the lease is in your name and she wants to leave you for another man, i'd tell her to be out in 2 weeks....why not? it's your house. I think she's taking a diabolic liberty. Why can't she stay with friends or family?

People who become infatuated change...they really do. It will take you some time to adapt and overcome the betrayal.

Don't ask her for any more texts, you need to stop all that and start doing more of this : -

http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/forum...d.php?p=256158

I so agree, There is no way that I would put up with my husband being in the same house and cheating at the same time. if she wont give him up then she must go. You are being far too accommodating and soft.

Originally Posted by ronnoco

Are you still living together? - that must suck....

If the lease is in your name and she wants to leave you for another man, i'd tell her to be out in 2 weeks....why not? it's your house. I think she's taking a diabolic liberty. Why can't she stay with friends or family?

People who become infatuated change...they really do. It will take you some time to adapt and overcome the betrayal.

Don't ask her for any more texts, you need to stop all that and start doing more of this : -

http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/forum...d.php?p=256158

Thanks for the link very useful

It's hard to stop being me and what comes naturally but I know it's a must

I went out with a friend last night and told the, the situation, it made me feel slightly better to see how shocked they were

They were full of well meaning bad advice and I ended up consoling them to some extend but it was non the less a pleasant evening

Yes she is still here I find it a strange thing to do but I am getting past trying to understand her actions any more

Thanks again

Originally Posted by chosen

I so agree, There is no way that I would put up with my husband being in the same house and cheating at the same time. if she wont give him up then she must go. You are being far too accommodating and soft.

I know but I don't want to turn into a nasty person, she will be gone a week on Saturday so I just have a few days to get through

I don't quite understand why she is here as per my other post, I also would have thought he would feel quite uncomfortable

I beginning to stop questioning things though, it's pointless

I don't ask direct questions either I just end up with contradicting answers which is quite frustrating

[ronnoco]

Well, if she's going soon then that's ok then.

Glad you found the link useful.

Sounds like you're doing it right to me.

It's hard but it's all about maintaining your dignity now. That's the one thing I think I did really well and I'm pleased I did. Toughing up will actually shock your wife a bit. She'll start questioning things. It could worry her as maybe she thinks she can fall back to you if it all goes wrong. Regardless of whether she can or not, you need to make her think she can't.

Sometimes you have to let people go and let let life teach them.

It's early days, keep positive, keep busy. Get out as much as poss, think of a new hobby you can start.

[chosen]

Originally Posted by Devitt

I know but I don't want to turn into a nasty person, she will be gone a week on Saturday so I just have a few days to get through

I don't quite understand why she is here as per my other post, I also would have thought he would feel quite uncomfortable

I beginning to stop questioning things though, it's pointless

I don't ask direct questions either I just end up with contradicting answers which is quite frustrating

Thats good at least you have a date when she will go. I dont think that being firm is being nasty, at least not the way I see it. My husband lived with his ex wife for a few months when she was seeing another man and divorcing him, and he was thrown out of the bedroom into a spare room. He had to leave in the end because she refused to. I am not so accommodating.

[chosen]

Originally Posted by ronnoco

Well, if she's going soon then that's ok then.

Glad you found the link useful.

Sounds like you're doing it right to me.

It's hard but it's all about maintaining your dignity now. That's the one thing I think I did really well and I'm pleased I did. Toughing up will actually shock your wife a bit. She'll start questioning things. It could worry her as maybe she thinks she can fall back to you if it all goes wrong. Regardless of whether she can or not, you need to make her think she can't.

Sometimes you have to let people go and let let life teach them.

It's early days, keep positive, keep busy. Get out as much as poss, think of a new hobby you can start.

Yes I agree. Act with integrity and dignity no matter what.

Hmmm went to the cinema together tonight very odd

Short post I know, hopefully going to sort some arrangements out tomorrow can't take much more of this

[chosen]

Yes it must be very painful for you in this position:-(

Originally Posted by chosen

Yes it must be very painful for you in this position:-(

To be honest I can't wait for next Saturday. I'm not looking forward to it but at least I'll have a constant

I the night she held my hand, such a simple thing and even though it broke my heart I wish that moment lasted for ever

I am really worried for her it's her choice and she knows her own mind and maybe I'm clinging on but it doesn't feel like she is 100% behind what she is doing

[chosen]

Originally Posted by Devitt

To be honest I can't wait for next Saturday. I'm not looking forward to it but at least I'll have a constant

I the night she held my hand, such a simple thing and even though it broke my heart I wish that moment lasted for ever

I am really worried for her it's her choice and she knows her own mind and maybe I'm clinging on but it doesn't feel like she is 100% behind what she is doing

To be honest she is being very cruel. Leaving you while doing things that are so painful for you. Why are you still sharing a bed if she is having an affair???

[ronnoco]

She almost certainly isn't sure but like you said, she has made her choice, she has free will, she know's the consequences of her actions.

I'm pretty sure if you toughened up and stopped going to the cinema, slept in separate beds, went out every night on your own over the next week - it would hit her like a tonne of bricks....you may even make her think twice (if that's what you really want)

Be polite, be civil but seriously, don't be there for her like you have been all these years. Remember, she is effectively choosing to end the marriage. She needs to know what life will really be like without you. I would go out every night. Even if you sit in mcdonalds on your own and you don't need to tell her what you have been up to. Sometimes a little white lie is necessary. Tell her it's too hard being around her (which is is) and that you need to start making a new life for yourself, re-discover who you are and make new friends ....this will worry her, TRUST ME! - she wont like the thought of you, her safety net possibly going out of her life.

Perhaps spend the night in a Premier Inn...pack a bag - see how she likes not knowing where you are and what you are up to. Relationships can often be a game...play the game.

[chosen]

Originally Posted by ronnoco

She almost certainly isn't sure but like you said, she has made her choice, she has free will, she know's the consequences of her actions.

I'm pretty sure if you toughened up and stopped going to the cinema, slept in separate beds, went out every night on your own over the next week - it would hit her like a tonne of bricks....you may even make her think twice (if that's what you really want)

Be polite, be civil but seriously, don't be there for her like you have been all these years. Remember, she is effectively choosing to end the marriage. She needs to know what life will really be like without you. I would go out every night. Even if you sit in mcdonalds on your own and you don't need to tell her what you have been up to. Sometimes a little white lie is necessary. Tell her it's too hard being around her (which is is) and that you need to start making a new life for yourself, re-discover who you are and make new friends ....this will worry her, TRUST ME! - she wont like the thought of you, her safety net possibly going out of her life.

Perhaps spend the night in a Premier Inn...pack a bag - see how she likes not knowing where you are and what you are up to. Relationships can often be a game...play the game.

I SO agree with ronocco. Great advise. Get out and dont tell her where. As yet she has felt no consequences to her actions.

Originally Posted by chosen

To be honest she is being very cruel. Leaving you while doing things that are so painful for you. Why are you still sharing a bed if she is having an affair???

I offered to sleep in the spare room, and she adamant there was no need

Feels strange but the choice of change is hers not mine

Should I sleep else where?