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Old 31st October 2015, 04:35 PM   #766
Lindentree1
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
Dear LDT, this is one of the most moving things I have read in a very long time and has moved me to tears, I feel your pain and I admire your resolve and fantastic inner strength, god bless you and watch over you always.
What a lovely thing to say. Thank you, Ralf.
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Old 2nd December 2015, 11:12 AM   #767
melly997
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Hello all,
Been a while since I was here.
Well it hasn't gotten any better for me, in fact only a few days after he got his things I found out he was seeing someone else & had started texting her only 5 days after he went to his friends to clear his head. They are already living together & have probably been doing so since about mid July just before he told me it was over ( I know definitely since mid-August).
My heart is still broken, I still love him but I realise that I deserve more than a lying, cheating, deceiving, coward as a husband who gives up & walks away when things get a little tough (I think I've covered every selfish & negative trait he has shown).
He doesn't call, text or visit, basically he has cut all contact & has emotionally detached himself from me completely.
Life can only get better from here
I hope you are all winning your own battles.
Take care

Last edited by melly997; 2nd December 2015 at 11:43 AM.
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Old 2nd December 2015, 07:12 PM   #768
Lindentree1
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Quote:
Originally Posted by melly997 View Post
Hello all,
Been a while since I was here.
Well it hasn't gotten any better for me, in fact only a few days after he got his things I found out he was seeing someone else & had started texting her only 5 days after he went to his friends to clear his head. They are already living together & have probably been doing so since about mid July just before he told me it was over ( I know definitely since mid-August).
My heart is still broken, I still love him but I realise that I deserve more than a lying, cheating, deceiving, coward as a husband who gives up & walks away when things get a little tough (I think I've covered every selfish & negative trait he has shown).
He doesn't call, text or visit, basically he has cut all contact & has emotionally detached himself from me completely.
Life can only get better from here
I hope you are all winning your own battles.
Take care
So sorry you are going through this, Melly. I agree you deserve much better than him.
He should have told you the truth from the beginning--instead he took the coward's way out by running away and basically saying nothing. I understand your heart is still broken. Healing will take time. You are strong. You will get there.

I would suggest you get legal counsel and see what your options are regarding your marriage.

Please post anytime. We are here for you.
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Old 2nd December 2015, 10:57 PM   #769
chosen
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Posts: 5,794
Re: Oh no...oh no...

Quote:
Originally Posted by melly997 View Post
Hello all,
Been a while since I was here.
Well it hasn't gotten any better for me, in fact only a few days after he got his things I found out he was seeing someone else & had started texting her only 5 days after he went to his friends to clear his head. They are already living together & have probably been doing so since about mid July just before he told me it was over ( I know definitely since mid-August).
My heart is still broken, I still love him but I realise that I deserve more than a lying, cheating, deceiving, coward as a husband who gives up & walks away when things get a little tough (I think I've covered every selfish & negative trait he has shown).
He doesn't call, text or visit, basically he has cut all contact & has emotionally detached himself from me completely.
Life can only get better from here
I hope you are all winning your own battles.
Take care
I am so sorry, its often the case when one partner wants 'space' or to 'clear their head' that its someone else. Shame that these cheaters cant even be honest and tell the truth, but they are lairs.
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Old 5th December 2015, 01:41 AM   #770
Lindentree1
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Well, as for my update:

My WH have been talking about a settlement. If we can come to an agreement eventually, I won't be married much longer. : (

I really don't want this, and to be honest I am not over my WH yet, but I have no choice. I'd give anything to go back and be his wife, but he'd have to feel the same, and obviously he doesn't.

A lot of my feelings came to the surface as we've been talking on the phone all week about the settlement. Hearing his voice reminded me of how very much I miss him.

I just needed to vent.
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Old 5th December 2015, 05:42 AM   #771
chosen
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Poor you, yes its hard and painful. Can you discuss this by email?Or through the lawyers? Make sure you run all his proposals past your lawyer before you agree on anything.
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Old 5th December 2015, 05:51 PM   #772
Lindentree1
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Thanks, Chosen. We had to talk to see if we'd agree on anything in order to settle. If we didn't agree on anything, there was no point in trying to settle. I also wanted to ask him to pay half of Buddy's vet bills, which he did. Moving forward, I'm going to try to keep communication by email. And yes, my lawyer has already seen what he is offering. Everything is being run past a lawyer. Yes, it is costing money, but it's important to get a fair settlement.

Yes, it's very painful. I wish things had not turned out this like this--but I need to stop feeling that way. It's pointless to let my mind keep going there. I have to move forward. Once this gets settled perhaps this will be easier. I don't know.

This will probably be done in time for me to move out of state in July. That's one good thing, I guess. A new, fresh start--hundreds of miles away.
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Old 6th December 2015, 03:03 PM   #773
chosen
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Yes its horrible but there is life after divorce as I know.
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Old 25th December 2015, 11:06 AM   #774
ralfgarnett
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Hi LDT, I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you today, I know it's not easy but its just another printed date on a calendar and we will get through this.
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Old 25th December 2015, 07:18 PM   #775
Lindentree1
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
Hi LDT, I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you today, I know it's not easy but its just another printed date on a calendar and we will get through this.
Merry Christmas Ralf. Merry Christmas to everyone on this forum who celebrates this holiday. Hope you're all having a lovely day.
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Old 26th December 2015, 10:55 AM   #776
chosen
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Same to you LT.
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Old 1st January 2016, 12:27 PM   #777
ralfgarnett
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Hi LDT, I want to take this opportunity to wish you the best possible New Year that you can possibly have, I truly hope that 2016 brings you good health, peace, contentment, and an increasing sense of happiness as your situation can allow, god bless you and watch over you and Buddy always.
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Old 1st January 2016, 02:23 PM   #778
chosen
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Happy and a blessed new year for everyone here.
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Old 1st January 2016, 07:23 PM   #779
Lindentree1
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
Hi LDT, I want to take this opportunity to wish you the best possible New Year that you can possibly have, I truly hope that 2016 brings you good health, peace, contentment, and an increasing sense of happiness as your situation can allow, god bless you and watch over you and Buddy always.
Thanks, Ralf. May you have a most wonderful New Year and much joy and laughter ahead.

Happy New Year to everyone here! May 2016 fulfill some long-cherished dreams.
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Old 22nd January 2016, 03:49 PM   #780
ralfgarnett
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Re: Oh no...oh no...

Hi LDT, as ever hoping that both you and Buddy are well and all is ok with you both, I was reading the following passage earlier which I personally found quite poignant, inspirational, and even quite moving and I wanted to share it with you, I hope you like it.

"The person who risks nothing gets nothing, has nothing, is nothing, he may avoid suffering pain and sorrow, but he does not learn, he does not prosper or grow, he does not live, he does not love, he has sold and forfeited both freedom and integrity, he is a slave chained by safety, locked away by fear, because only a person who is willing to risk not knowing the results is truly free."
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