Where do I go?

Posting this thread has not been a decision taken lightly. I have been married for 17 years and coming to terms that my marriage is all but over seems to be an admission of defeat.
I am a born again christian, who while backing sliding in a foreign land, married a norminal muslim. Multicultural and multifaith marriage seems a moletov cocktail to juggle and my christian walk has taken a roller coaster ride through the years.

I know there are always two sides to a story but I have been burdened with the responsibility of keeping my marriage above water and paddling madly just to stay afloat and now im so tired I cant see any reason to keep going.
I tried one of those online relationship test thingys this evening, and even from a secular perspective my marriage has run its course. which made me hunt around on the internet for a christian site that would give me a glimmer of hope.

We have got to the point where we dont share anything together anymore. It wasnt sudden, just over the years we have drifted into seperate lives living under the same roof. The only common pleasure is our four children.
I fear the day they grow up and leave.
Ive had emotional abuse since early in our marriage. We dont relate together, the situations are always 'my problem' he doesnt deal with issues whatsover, and unfortunately this has gone on so long that now I feel too tired to keep fighting for us singlehandly when he doesnt meet half way to fix things.
It scares me that ive got to the point where I dont feel anything for him any longer. Ive prayed about it, spoke to the minister, but its like ive finally run out of fuel .I dont believe in divorce, was adamant it would never happen, but now I feel like im on the brink of it.

[Kate]

Dear Wistful

A friend of mine married someone from Pakistan and found great difficulties in her marriage, some of which were due to the cultural differences in their backgrounds. Both of them discovered they had different expectations of each other and different ways of dealing with many things in life.



There are some resources on the site here including some groups who support those in interfaith marriages. You might consider contacting them as they would understand something of what you are facing.



I wonder whether the fact that he doesn't face up to issues may have something to do with a tendency in some eastern cultures to need to avoid loss of face. Admitting there is a problem or taking responsibility for some of it may not be culturally acceptable. If you could get some support from those who understand the different cultures you might find new ways of approaching your relationship. When things get difficult it's very easy to go round in circles unless someone can stand back and suggest a new approach.



Why not have a look at the link I've given you and then let us know how things are going. Do you have people at your church who could pray for you?

Kate

Try the website below, I am sure it will help.

http://www.restorem.org/cgi-bin/index.cgi?page=index

God bless you.