My wife hates me!

I don't know where to start really there's so much that's wrong.

I've been married for 4 years and been together for 6 years at the very beginning of the relationship we split up (which was my fault i wasn't at the time emotionally equipped to deal with what was going on i was only 16) we got back together a few months later and there was the honeymoon period again as there usually is but not long after it starts the snapping the sly comments throwing things at me for no apparent reason other than i said no to something and i'm not talking about huge decisions either, i mean little things
and from there it got worse my wife only shows me contempt and hatred and has never forgiven me and i have spent the last 5years trying to make up for it but nothing seems to work and i can't cope with what really is mental abuse she puts me through i can't cope, i'm a shell of the person i used to be i'm a complete mess physically and mentally i need help but i have no where to turn.

[Raymond]

What actually happened at sixteen Kent? Were you engaged and then went with someone else? I am trying to gauge how bad this misdemeanor was to warrant all the abuse you seems to be getting. My own view is that you were only sixteen and too young to get engaged anyway. Can you be sure that her present attitude is just about that?

[chosen]

Is she the same age as you Kent? You were SO young. No guy is ready to get engaged in his teens. You say that she throws things at you, so is she also abusive in other ways?

[Forever]

Greetings Kent,

Perhaps you were more mature than the average man when you married...I have met some who were quite mature at your age. But it is just too obvious that your wife was NOT. She is not mentally and emotionally equipped to handle whatever you did...whether it was a "cheat" or even the small petty things that come up in a relationship...that part is no longer the issue after all this time given her behavior since.

She is so terribly abusive to you that you are losing your ability to be rational about where to "draw the line in the sand" about what should be tolerated in a marriage. Her behavior is outrageous and will only get worse given more time.

If she has so much contempt for you and has not got enough sense to get some good counsel now...how do you think she will handle the infractions that little children will do after they come along? She will batter and abuse them to the point that you will fear leaving them alone with her. Is this the future you envisioned for yourself and for your children???

Please PLEASE separate yourself from her until she has gotten professional help...and I dont mean having chats with her friends or parents...REAL long term professional help. If you do not take action to show her that this will no longer be tolerated, then I fear for you and any children you may have with her. She sounds mentally/emotionally unbalanced...and I doubt that you can blame it entirely on something you did to her five years ago or telling her "no" when you had the freedom to do so. This has gone on far too long...and you doing nothing to show her that you will not tolerate this (in spite of your past guilt) means she will continue as she will never forgive you without being taught how to do that.

This is YOUR marriage too...do not spend it being her verbal or physical punching bag...she will do far worse than that if she does not learn how to control herself.

Kindest Regards

Hi

It's very difficult to know everything from a very brief thread.

Usually, women Do have reasons why she's unhappy in their marriage and seemingly she is "acting out" to let her negative feelings out towards you.

Perhaps, she never expressed these /or something bothering her in an adult, civilized way to you.
It may not be your fault - it could be anything.
But it seems there are signs that she's very unhappy whatever reason(s) and she perhaps wants out (but she is unable to say this to you?) It is very sad when this happens but you cannot stay like this forever.

You have my deepest sympathies. You are not alone.