Wife has been cheating, heart is torn, thrown in gutter and run over by the bin wagon
hi all,
About a month ago my wife and I decided to have a break from all the stress of living together mainly because of financial issues. We had lost interest on both sides. Communication was poor, I admit that. I was holding a full time job and doing most of the stuff around the house, cooking, making time with the kids etc, trying to juggle everything while she basically sat on her @rse.
I respected her as she has depression and I decided to move in with a friend. I wanted to put a maximum time on the break and suggested 3 weeks but she didn't want to do that.
Anyway a long story short I found out last week that whilst she has had weekends away from the house, having fun and de-stressing she has had a relationship with another man and they have been sharing hotel rooms etc. He has also been coming round to our house and staying overnite. At around the same time as this she text me to say that she wanted to separate and that she couldn't see anyway back. I asked her for counseling but she was not interested. I still loved her deep down. I asked her to go on date nights with me and that we can slowly rebuild our relationship.
This broke my heart in pieces. It was so hard. I had to turn to nearly all of my close friends who have been very supportive.
We have two beautiful young children (2 and 5) who we both love very much. We are both good parents. We decided to meet this week to talk about separation and whats best for the kids. It was amicable and we discussed everything from the kids to finances. We both decided to go for mediation.
At the end she turned around and asked me why i don't love her anymore. I opened up and told her that I knew about the affair/adultery. She denied it all and said that he is just a close friend who has offered support. I was pleased with myself and managed to hold my nerve and held back the emotions. I said, ok, it doesn't matter if you have or have not but we need to remain amicable and think whats best for the kids.
Since this meeting I have found out that she has had several f*ck buddies and she has been on web sites etc, basically f*cking loads of guys for the past 10 weeks or so. Even though my heart was already destroyed this made me sick and a have revealed the other side of her, how cold and devious and calculated she can be,. It hurts me so much, I am crying now!
I haven't told anyone else about the f*uck buddies yet, but I will share it with my close firends and brother. I am presuming that non of her family knows about him or the f*ck buddies and I presume if they did know that would be totally devasted and dissapointed in her. Her father had an affair many years ago and I supported her through that and she knows how hard it is and how hard it still is on her poor mum and all of the family. her mum has come out worse than her dad. I just can't believe she can be so hypocritical.
I think if she had only had the relationship with the one man, and had come to me and told me openly and honestly then may be we could have saved the marriage, i don't, know.
I am now such a mess and often breakdown and cry, I don't sleep well.
I feel like racing down to the solicitors now with our marriage certificate and going for divorce.
I am also worried for the kids safety as she has only known this man for a month or two and he stay's over with her in our house. She obviously doesn't know him properly and he could be anyone trying to do anything! Is there anything I can do about this!?
Thanks all
Last edited by cabbage; 4th September 2013 at 11:52 AM.
Reason: update
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