Help me

[chosen]

David, you have done all that you could recently to get the marriage back on track,as raymond said, but you cant force her. Try to get out and about as much as you can and keep yourself busy and occupied. As Steve has been saying, go out, meet people, do a hobby, an interest. Show her that you have a life, and she may begin to see thinsg differently The atmosphere there much be so hard for you.
I still dont understand what is so bad that she wants to end it, a divorce is so final and so serious.
To be honest I think she made her mind up long ago when you first found her writing down your actions for the solicitor, and it seems that she hasnt given you a chance since then.

She is under heavy stress with weepy eyes and drinks. I have been shut out.

Last night though after putting my son to bed, she came downstairs at 9.30 and spent and hour chatting to me. She didn't need to do it and it did surprise me.

I agree that my father in law might help.

I still aim to do the flowers at work thing because it might jolt her in realising that I still love her.

[Raymond]

I agree that you need to keep trying David while you have the strength. Bringing flowers to someone who will not forgive you will be troubling her conscience and who knows what could happen.

[chosen]

yes its worth trying anything, you have nothing to loose.

[Chamomile]

Originally Posted by david

I still aim to do the flowers at work thing because it might jolt her in realising that I still love her.

I would be shocked if she didn't realize this before. This marriage has become so one sided.

I don't think she thought about divorcing you as she had doubts about your love for her (?)

It must be other factors. Maybe, some reason she think it cannot be solved (?) I never had a chance to know what her personality was like. Some people divorce a perfectly good husband and vice versa for various other reasons. It's a shame but it happens.

[Chamomile]

Originally Posted by Raymond

I agree that you need to keep trying David while you have the strength. Bringing flowers to someone who will not forgive you will be troubling her conscience and who knows what could happen.

Yes. it's also very admirable that he is a Good person to do this for a woman who does not show any warmth for some time.

Thank you

I still have the strength and determination, even though it isn't doing any good. I won't give up on her yet.

I will do the flowers at work thing, but I will probably leave that until May, as at the moment she would regard that as a stunt.

My thoughts have concentrated on my mother over the last week who has been fighting ovarian cancer for 4 years, but has been admitted to hospital for kidney failure. I suspect that there is nothing that they can do for her.

My wife didn't even ask how I was or give me a hug. Maybe she doesn't know how to now. I'm starting to get angry with her. After 24 years I expected some sympathy from her. At least she went with me to visit my mum in hospital.

[stepgrah]

David,
FIrst of all am really sorry to hear about your mum, just very sad and have a virtual massive man hug from me. I am really glad that your wife went with you and supported you with your mum though and I think that was a really important thing.
She is being honest in another way with you in as much it is probably difficult for her to show the sympathy she may with to in case it is misinterpreted. Inside I am sure she is upset to see you like this but she's in a no win situation on this as well.
The positive is that she came with you and was there fore you when you needed her. Keep doing what you are doing mate and hopefully it will pay off. I am just concerned that in all of this you are not looking after your own self and self esteem properly.


Steve

[Raymond]

Sympathies for your mother and you David. Steve has said it all. Your wife is doing what she can within the restrictions she has placed on herself in that she won't forgive. That is the biggest tragedy of the marriage really, not what happened in the past as that has gone and the river flows on. Forgiveness would release the dam on the life which is being blocked up.

[Chamomile]

david

I hear what you are saying.
I would have thought your wife would have shown some empathy in your darkest family crisis...
I pray for you and your Mother, who's fighting so hard.

I received a hug this morning as I was crying. About time.

[Raymond]

That's something David. It makes me cry how hard she is being.

Originally Posted by Raymond

That's something David. It makes me cry how hard she is being.

She hugged me because I was breaking down at my mother's situation.

She later asked me not to cry in front of the children. Where should I go in the garage or jump into the bushes?

At least my mother situation has taken some pressure off of us.

[chosen]

It doesnt do any harm crying in front of the children, if you tell them why.In facts its healthy for them to see that you are sad, and crying is healthy.