[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Dear Good People,[/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]I am in a great doubt: should I stay with my boyfriend or not. I am lucking the main part of the relationship: TRUST! Well, everything has started few weeks after we started dated when I was visiting a friend abroad and in order to show her his picture we went to dating web where we met. HE WAS ON LINE! Later he told he was making friends, as he is new in the area. HE DIDNT TELL HIS EX GIRLFRIEND HE IS WITH ME FOR A VERY LONG TIME. HE ALSO MISSED TO INTRODUCE ME TO HIS FEMALE FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME. [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]On one occasion when I was questioning why we are always staying at mine, He said he doesn’t want his flatmate's girlfriend to mind his business??? I didn’t understand the point (and still do not ). He was first sizing girls while with me but said that I am paranoid and insecure and he didn’t size anybody. 6 months later he said that everyman size and that's it! [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Last Xmas at his parents opening the presents there was a present from his ex. He did not know about it. Just family?!!! the present consists of a pic that ex took just few weeks before xmas. He said it was just once they met when she was visiting London. He said he didn’t want to say about this as I would get angry. Like I am not angry now! [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]The latest. In one of the confessions he said he had a relationship with a man! Like I didn’t have enough. My paranoia got really confused. Previously I was sizing women when we go out thinking which one he might liked. Will I now become more paranoid even sizing other men!!! His long lasting friend came from America and staid few days. My boyfriend called him on 2 occasions "honey". [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]I tried to leave him few times but he always came with something new that changed my mind... these days we are lucking new things and I am thinking of leaving him seriously. I am 40 and he is almost my last chance of having children. He is keen to have family and to move together and suggests I should move on from the past. In his previous relationship his ex didn’t want children and he said he could stay with her if she wanted. So he is not crazy about the children. Now he is extremely keen?!!. [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]He went to do the sperm test last Friday. When I am asking how does it come that he has changed attitude he says:" Why you do not appreciate that I have enjoyed the journey being with you!" the last was last Friday when he was over the moon due to positive results from the sperm test. [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]We were in a restaurant. He ordered the meal with "I'll have... " He rarely uses plural it is always I I I (him him him) and then he was absentminded. I asked where he is knowing he was watching the girl close to our table. His answer was " i was looking at this young couple and thinking how they must be on their first date and how it was long time I was on the first date and how I will not be on the first date"... all those words and the sperm results in his pocket. My heart was completely broken and I just drop few tears. I am now crying in restaurants!!! How pathetic? [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Now I want to break but I am scared. I cannot stay in this relationship as I have great doubts that it will ever work. While previously he was apologetic, now he is cocky and answering back. He said he is doing nothing to heart me and the thing how I feel has nothing to do with him. It is my insecurity and I should deal with it. [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]BTW he is psychotherapist, and I have told him more than once that certain things make me insecure. He is also working with coupes and working with human soul and hasnot done much to make me more secure?? Strange??! He is enjoying the journey!!!! He is saying that it is me who is insecure and doesn’t want to commit, and who doesn’t want kids. And that I am too naïve looking for a perfect man!!! [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]How can I have kids with somebody to whom I don’t trust on the first place! Well I am 40 and maybe this is my only chance to have children, as I would probably due to my romantic side need ages to overcome this man and find another!!! I am in great dilemma to leave him or to stay! [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Yes I know he will never change and I also know myself I will never change!!![/SIZE][/FONT]