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Old 18th March 2014, 04:10 AM   #16
1aokgal
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,006
Re: Is there hope???

This is year 34 for our marriage. I am still married to the man I love and very fortunate that we have a pretty good life. If we had problems there would never be a trial separation to solve them. Separation prepares the parties to find a new life and explore life as an unmarried person. If Rees wants to "try again" and it seems from her attitude it is likely too late. She is unwilling to discuss that possibility, so it seems she has emotionally moved on from the marriage. The time to fix a marriage is while you still live under the same roof.

The reason she may not have filed for divorce is likely financial. Maybe there advantages to remain married for a time as tax advantage or religious reasons. Maybe she wants to keep her options open in case she can't make it alone. Perhaps she will reconsider and there is a chance so long as it is not final yet.

In my marriage I never feel I need to disguise how I feel or think or need to change who I am basically, as we see most things from a similar viewpoint. Life is pretty decent. I don't agree that marriage is a game that one wins or loses by making "moves." That implies some deception to win a point or gain advantage. I think you treat your partner as you want to be treated, with fairness and courtesy. In our life together we enjoy to be together and there is a lot of humor. His job requires him to be away months at a time. That is tough on holidays and birthdays. That would be a deal breaker for most marriages but we work it through. So there are no perfect situations.

Rees, you are in a sad and difficult position to still have hope when she is exploring life as an unmarried woman. It is time you prepare to go on and be the best father as possible and accept that you must make a life without her. The answer to the question as whether there is still hope I would say "very unlikely." There may be someone else who influenced her with the courage to leave the marriage in the first place. Put your efforts into your work and relationship with your daughter. Do some mental flashbacks to see what part you played in the failure of the marriage and resolve to change the negatives in you. There are always faults we see on hindsight. Take it a day at a time.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 19th March 2014 at 06:30 PM.
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Old 1st April 2014, 04:42 PM   #17
LibraLady
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 89
Re: Is there hope???

The "game" of love and life and marriage is not against my partner. We play the "game" together and its working well, perhaps 1aokgal, my choice of words/slang may have led you to beleive that I view marriage or my husband negatively.???

In a marriage, the two of you are a team, your team is against the world i.e, the "game". Take note, that I mentioned that I am learning my husbands Love Language...we all love differently BUT when we learn each others love language, then the "game" isnt so hard to play.
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Old 15th September 2014, 05:17 PM   #18
ralfgarnett
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
Re: Is there hope???

Hi Rees I feel your pain, I am 9 weeks separated from my darling wife and I miss her so much it really hurts, I know what your going through because I am too,
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Old 4th December 2014, 10:47 PM   #19
drleo
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 12
Re: Is there hope???

That how love is but to me its like she is just taking a break ,and all this thing of divorce she is like doing it to hurt you, because she has no reason why she wants a divorce and i think she still love you. because 8 years of marriage cannot just go away in 5 month
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