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Old 17th September 2013, 02:20 PM   #1
Reeso84
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Is there hope???

I have been separated from my wife for 4 months and I miss her more and more each day I love her with all my heart but she won't talk to me about us anymore and it breaks my heart!i neglected her and her feelings and I just didn't know I was doing it she says she wants divorce but then I ask her if its what she really wants she just says it unfair for me to ask!i just can't move on coz I love her too much we have a daughter and my wife is always going to be part of my life what can I do to show her she's the love of my life and that she is the one?i only hope that we can work things out but am I chasing a pipe dream?
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Old 17th September 2013, 03:20 PM   #2
chosen
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Re: Is there hope???

Rees If she hasn't divorced you yet, then she clearly isn't 100% sure. Why else would she be delaying it? Until she does that there is always hope. Just see your daughter be the best dad you can and see what happens.
Has she told you exactly why she is divorcing you?
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Old 17th September 2013, 03:55 PM   #3
Reeso84
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Unhappy Re: Is there hope???

She was just unhappy I never cheated or anything like that she gave me the I love you but not in love with saying!i was always to busy working and didn't spend enough time with my wife and daughter she felt neglected and left she won't give me a chance to show her that I have changed and it really hurts everyday I just didn't see it coming she is my true love and its really hard not living with her!breaks my heart everytime!i don't see here and don't here from her I txt her to much but its not easy to just forget about her we were together for 8 years and everyday it just feel worse!!
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Old 17th September 2013, 04:06 PM   #4
ronnoco
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Re: Is there hope???

Hi,

I don't know the whole story but it seems strange for your wife to be so set on giving up without a try, it makes me suspicious. Do you think there is any possibility there could be anyone else on the scene in any shape or form? Sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear.

Have you noticed any change in here recently? Change of appearance, new clothes, nails/hair done, lots of activity on the phone/computer?

When there are children involved, personally I think unless there is cheating or physical abuse going on, you really should do your absolute best to make it work....I know I would and it's clear you really are willing to work at it so I don't see why she wouldn't?

Where has she moved out to?
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Old 17th September 2013, 04:20 PM   #5
Reeso84
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Re: Is there hope???

I know she was txting a guy and now it has stopped I just don't understand why she won't give it one more go I realised my mistakes straight away!she has a new place of her own from family housing she has changed and I just don't know her anymore and it is heartbreaking I'm not saying I'm a victim here but I just miss her so much and its really hurt watching her move out I love the woman to death and I just hope one day that she will wake up and realise that our marriage is worth saving I really miss her and I know I won't want anybody again only her and she knows that she is the one and I will always want her the rest of my life!!
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Old 17th September 2013, 08:37 PM   #6
chosen
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Re: Is there hope???

Rees when a person says 'I love you but I'm not in love with you', its often because there is someone else on the scene. How can you know what she is doing if you don't live together?The fact that she was texting someone is a red flag to me, and while she blames it all on you, it may well be there is something going on.
To end a marriage just because one person works very hard is so wrong.
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Old 17th September 2013, 10:59 PM   #7
ronnoco
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Re: Is there hope???

Rees, I feel for you - I really do. You must be feeling terrible if you have endured 4 months with no closure - I know you must feel hopeful and nobody but your wife knows what is happening but like Chosen said, when people say these things, often it means they have become emotionally detached from you and have that "brother /sister" or "best friend" love for you now. The reason is often because they have fallen for someone else.

We see it time and time again on these Forums. Is your wife by any chance late twenties/early thirties? I read a book called Women s Infidelity and apparently this is when women reach their sexual prime and can be a common time for affairs. Their hormones are through the roof and people can stray.

Of-course, as always, everybody is responsible for their own actions.

Either way, it's been 4 months, you've tried to win her back, she doesn't want to know - she wont respond to your texts, etc. She has changed. She has moved on and I think you have to start thinking about yourself and your daughter now. Do you see her a lot? Are you able to have her for 50% of the week, perhaps 2 nights during the week and 1 night at the weekend? You must think about the relationship with your child now and being the best you can be for her.

It's a really rough road you're going through...for support, read some of the stories on http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=13
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Old 13th November 2013, 04:52 PM   #8
LibraLady
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Re: Is there hope???

It looks like she may have really moved on, but Im confused as to why she hasnt filed for divorce yet. In any event, concentrate on being a great father. She may be going thru a mid-life crisis. But you cant keep chasing a person who doesnt want you after trying to change yourself for them. If you stop chasing her completely, she may behave differently. Reverse psychology is what it is.....marriage is always a game being played.
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Old 14th November 2013, 01:22 PM   #9
Raymond
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Re: Is there hope???

I don't find it a game although we do have fun.
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Old 2nd January 2014, 10:16 AM   #10
chosen
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Re: Is there hope???

I don't see marriage as a game. My husband, bless him, wouldnt know how to play any mind games.
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Old 3rd January 2014, 05:39 PM   #11
Stephen300
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Re: Is there hope???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reeso84 View Post
I have been separated from my wife for 4 months and I miss her more and more each day I love her with all my heart but she won't talk to me about us anymore and it breaks my heart!i neglected her and her feelings and I just didn't know I was doing it she says she wants divorce but then I ask her if its what she really wants she just says it unfair for me to ask!i just can't move on coz I love her too much we have a daughter and my wife is always going to be part of my life what can I do to show her she's the love of my life and that she is the one?i only hope that we can work things out but am I chasing a pipe dream?
Yet another example of how marriage today hurts people. I feel for you. Is there any hope? Only God knows. I lost faith in marriage years ago. People getting divorced so easily instead of keeping their marriage vows.
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Old 8th January 2014, 04:52 PM   #12
1aokgal
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Re: Is there hope???

I think a good marriage is where games are non-existent. My husband is consistent. I can rely on his personality to always take the high ground. A person who seems to always have some secret agenda is never one a wife can trust.

Chasing behind someone who is emotionally remote and secretive would be exhausting. I'd give up that situation as it is time wasted. Take the loss and move on from a marriage that has clearly no positive elements.
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Old 14th March 2014, 03:20 PM   #13
LibraLady
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Re: Is there hope???

Marriage , like everything else in life, I beleive, is a game...of chess. Learn the language of love as it pertains to your spouse. Women and Men speak different languages. Yes, its a game alright. Each move you make or dont make has reactions, consequences, etc...play to win.
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Old 14th March 2014, 08:14 PM   #14
1aokgal
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Re: Is there hope???

Libra Lady, How is that working for you?
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Old 17th March 2014, 06:51 PM   #15
LibraLady
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Re: Is there hope???

1aokgal- Im always learning more and better moves to make in this game called love, life and marriage. As I learn my husbands love language, I getter better at my moves. And so far, Im winning.
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