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Old 26th August 2011, 03:32 AM   #11
1aokgal
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Dear Baroness..

You posted that I could not forgive you for your postings? I have no reason to hold anything against you concerning your posts! Why would you say that? Rather I posted about the maybe "too in depth postings" that I felt were depressing to some here. It seemed we got off track to discuss the subject and how we could make progress in our marriages. Instead the forum got bogged down in the description of "he said this, he said that" and the response by others to help was misunderstood by you. If I hurt your feelings, that was my fault.

You were quick to take offense to those who responded to your description of things that happened when you shared these events yourself with others here. You said they criticized...when you had been the one who talked about these things. So any feedback was not accepted gracefully on your part.

We are problem solvers.....or at least, we believe we are problem solvers of most things. It is frustrating when we can't solve it, and we can't even get the reason why things happen. Everyone here wishes you happiness.

You said in your personal email to me this evening, that I am unforgiving person. I don't have a clue why you wrote this. I spent most of today at the art gallery with my grandaughter and I did not read your last post until late today. She met my artist friends and learned about their work and how they regard me. Later she described it as, "thanks for an incredible day." It made an impression on her to learn about their art and meet people who respect me for the work I do. She is excited that I want to help her with some art lessons. That feels wonderful to make a difference to another person.

Baroness, I think I made a small difference in your life too. It was to give you some creative direction when I suggested the hats and told you how they are successful for some and fun to make. It has helped you to look forward to something positive. It may continue to make some positive input financially for you. It also was my pleasure to share the creative stuff with you. We talked about things that brought us to this forum. I suggested you look at the good things in the marriage and not focus only on the problem area. I never said ,"forget about it" but to focus on other things. Not easy, but it can work.

Don't be so quick to believe the worst about others or to take suggestions as criticism. It is true that it is frustrating when you try to help a situation and it causes misunderstanding.

The thing you were most wrong about was you emailed me personally to say I never forgave my husband because I am an unforgiving person! You don't know me well enough to make that statement. I forgive you for having said something so silly.

Since I have been married 31 years and never considered divorce, I would say that is a record solid as a rock. Of course, my husband doesn't frequent bars, is an educated, moral person and is pretty easy to love. So there is no conflict. Perhaps one day you can say that about your marriage.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 26th August 2011 at 04:52 PM.
 
 

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