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Has anyone got through an affair xx
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Hi Laura
Yes, I have. And many many other folks who get themselves a plan.
I disagree with the wise Raymond time alone does NOT heal: its what you fill the time WITH that heals.
You have an opportunity to build a great marriage if you use some tools. Its an opportunity to affair-proof your marriage and to fall in love and STAY in love.
First building blocks for a marriage after an affair are:
1) affair ends ( great! that seems so in your case !)
2) Extraordinary precautions for No Contact ( NC) with the other woman ever again. Warning - that probably means changing jobs.
3) Your H must earn his place back in your life. Raise your bar HIGH, that's where the best recoveries come from in my experience.
Affairs are like addictions for the folks involved in them - they are adsicted to how they feel about themselves when they are with their affair partner.
Like any addict the addiction must be broken for recovery to occur. Your H must go through " withdrawal" and lose his remaining feelings of yearning for this woman. Every contact he has with her will reset his addiction clock back to zero. he must never see her again, and send her a letter you approve of that says this clearly.
Buy "Surviving an affair"by Willard Harley for extra guidance.
You can get past this, andyour H can regain your trust but he has to do all the proven right things.
all blessings