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Old 9th August 2013, 12:25 PM   #16
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

Hiya. Good luck with the coming week. I'm following your thread and hoping things work out for you. While your at your mums, take time to take care of you. Both of us , although our stories differ in some respects, will need to be stronger than ever.
Hopefully we both will see the sun again
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Old 11th August 2013, 02:45 PM   #17
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

Well. My husbands attitude seems to have changed! He text me on Friday asking why I am not going to a wedding next Friday (we were invited as a couple, I told him a few weeks ago I was not going yet he seemed genuinely concerned that I wasn't going!) I told him it would be too painful to go to a wedding, watch the ceremony etc with my husband who doesn't want to be with me. I don't want to be put through that and I don't deserve it.
He then phoned me Friday night to check the "house exchange" was still happening (not sure why as it was all arranged)
I then phoned him yesterday and he didn't answer but actually phoned me back!!! We chatted about our day, the dogs, and he didn't mention anything regarding "sorting his stuff, getting a divorce, solicitors," anything! It was a near enough 10 minute conversation like we would have previously!

I know this can't be rushed and I can't control how he feels but how to I act now? Obviously I want to say "thought about coming home?" But the last thing I want to do is dive right in and make things worse! Any advice on how I can be more patient?
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Old 11th August 2013, 02:55 PM   #18
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

Hi again. Your obviously getting it right so far. That's your key to be patient. If its working don't try fixing it !!
Hope your situation carries on improving.
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Old 11th August 2013, 05:51 PM   #19
chosen
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Re: Husband has left!

yes just carry on as you are. Polite but a bit distant and cool.
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Old 11th August 2013, 07:57 PM   #20
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

It's hard but I know all of this HAS to come from him. I would love to go to the wedding as the couple are lovely and I was really looking forward to it but I can't go knowing I am not their as his date!
It might do him good going on his own, two nights in a hotel alone, a wedding on his own, no mates! He may be worried now he will be on his own but that's the decision! Me asking him to come home etc Won't help matters as it is purely his choice and his alone.
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Old 11th August 2013, 08:53 PM   #21
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

I feel exactly the same. Any change must be initiated by our partners. I'm sat here wanting oh so much to txt her, but I can't, wont, must not. Must be consistent. I'm going on a short break to Wales tomorrow. I'm tempted but will not let her know. In case she decides I don't care.
Hope its ok following ur thread so closely, feel as though I know your heartache
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Old 11th August 2013, 10:28 PM   #22
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

Don't give up hope! I have since come to realise WHY my husband chose to leave and sort myself out. I know it is never all one persons fault but I can see where I have went wrong and its changed me back into the girl he fell in love with! I just hope he can see that
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Old 11th August 2013, 11:05 PM   #23
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

Just try and remember your worth it too. You obviously are a caring loving person. I'm not giving up , just flagging at times. I admire your spirit , your husband is a very lucky man. He just don't know it yet !!
Good luck
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Old 12th August 2013, 01:10 PM   #24
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

Haven't heard from him since Saturday so trying not to stress out! I've looked into a new build scheme so if he does leave and we sell the house I have a plan for me and the dogs! So things will be ok.
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Old 14th August 2013, 08:32 AM   #25
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

Saw my sister in law the other night and apparently the H is starting to miss my company and we had another nice light happy conversation on the phone last night! I genuinely feel like a happy nice person again so I'm still hoping
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Old 14th August 2013, 03:41 PM   #26
chosen
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Re: Husband has left!

That's good news. Carry on the good work:-)
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Old 14th August 2013, 05:13 PM   #27
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

I'm just worried it will all be for nothing! it does seem to be going and I don't want to put any pressure on him but equally... I can't wait forever!
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Old 14th August 2013, 09:30 PM   #28
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

Well. I spoke to him on the phone today. Everything was ok and he said he was going back to his parents on Friday. I said "we can always meet up or something if you want to?" He said "I don't think that's a good idea, but we will have to meet up soon.." So I just said "to be honest, I just feel so happy with myself and "normal" again and I just really miss you, I feel we could be really good together again and I just miss you."
He the started to cry! I was really taken aback! He said "ok, have a nice night I will talk to you later." Is this a good or bad thing? I felt really guilty but I don't know..
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Old 14th August 2013, 09:47 PM   #29
chosen
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Re: Husband has left!

Why do you feel guilty, you were only being honest. I think that he does owe it to you to be honest about what is going on in his mind.
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Old 14th August 2013, 11:01 PM   #30
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

Just feel bad I made him cry I guess. I think he is scared to come back but knows in his heart it's what he wants but he would have to admit leaving was the "wrong thing to do " I just miss him and wish he would hurry up but I can't hurry him along as that is pressure he doesn't need.
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