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Old 11th September 2008, 12:17 PM   #1
animemoon
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4
"Emotionless" Athiest husband? *literally* ?

Not sure if anyone can help out with this... or have any advise to give on the matter... But I've been married about 3 years now, to an athiest........ and well things have been a bit "Rocky" as of late...... I don't really know how to explain this..... I really love my husband, very much so, and simply want him to be happy......He "Can" be a very good person...... and he does have his good side............ but there is just one "Minor" problem......

sometimes its as if he ....how to put it...... is so logical/analytical, to the point is.......... "Emotionless" ............... I Know athiests see the world in a diff. light than christians do....... but Even for an athiest, I've never known anyone with such a ....... "barrier" to emotions surrounding them like he does.... this is really hard to understand, and so far it might seem like i'm exaggerating, you might be thinking "Oh come on..... no one can be *that* emotionless can they? unless you married a robot....." but let me give some examples.....

Family-- My husband sees nothing special about family, he's stated it clearly, "All family is about, is the fact you share some of the same dna........ nothing special about that, " I tried asking him further about this, and he just couldnt see *anything* special about family, couldnt think of any reason why he should feel obligated to love his family, just because he happened to be born with them, (btw he does come from a very good loving christian family........)

Marriage-- My husband admits he sees nothing special about marriage at all..... our marriage he openly admits, is nothing more than writing on a certificate, and a way for the government to keep track of taxes etc.... he only married me because "I" felt marriage was important, and so he went along with it....... its not that he doesnt want to be with me.... he has never cheated on me, or looked at other women, as he put it "He likes me more than he could like any other girl......." though he's admited that even though that statement is true.... he does not really "Love" me , and doesnt understand the "Love" emotion all together.....

"Life"/ "The world around us" -- once again my husband draws a blank here..... he figures "Hey, i'm here might as well enjoy it" and he enjoys video games........ my husband spends 10-14 hrs a day on the computer playing games....... sees nothing wrong with it...its not that he's "Escaping" from anything, he just lacks interest in *everything* ...nature, friends, sports, whatever..... he just sees it as no big deal....

sex/romance/holidays etc..... -- I know guys arent always big into romance...... but most guys at least understand "Holidays" every christmas or holiday we've spent together...... another 14 hr day on the computer.... he doesnt see what the big deal is about an anniversary, holiday, birthday..... and tells me i can go ahead and do "My thing" but he has no interest in it......... i've never once received a card from him or anything like that....... and as far as our sex life...... once again, he has no interest in "Sex" doesnt understand how "Guys can just lose themselves over sex like that" and doesnt see it as a big deal...... and actually his exact words "It all seems like a bunch of extra/meaningless work" to him.....

theres alot more, but i'll just bring up one of the most troubling things....... his emotionless state, has him rather "De-sensitized" for lack of a better way to put it, he finds this a good thing.......... "So he doesnt get carried away by pointless irrational emotions" but he watches alot of violent gruesome movies and anime shows, if a persons head gets blown off, or a child gets tortured in some way, he doesnt even flinch, i might be sobbing but its no big deal to him......... "People do bad stuff sometimes...... it happens" as he says...... "No point letting it get to you" i guess there's no harm in him not being troubled by such things... i'll say again he has a good side, and probably couldnt even hurt a fly, he knows whats right and wrong and does whats right, but just the thought that such things cannot even bother him..... nothing in this world is too good , or too awful for him........

the only time i have *ever* seen him filled with any sort of emotions, has been a few times he's had anger directed towards me...... dont get me wrong, he is usually extremely patient and has very little anger problems...... except when it comes to me........ sometimes him seeing me get emotional over something (just with me, not anyone else.......) he can get angrier than i've seen anyone else get, it can be scary even sometimes....

I'm not sure how to deal with this.... In one way i feel rather lonely/empty inside....... i see other happy couples celebrating holidays together, showing affection or something towards eachother..... and then i see me and my "Robot-like" husband...... whom I will never leave..... i do love him dearly and have seen his good side, and as long as he's willing to be with me and never cheats on me or anything, i have no reason to leave... but it does hurt sometimes..
on another side i feel so bad because i guess i feel sorry for him... i cant imagine what being like that might feel like..... to have such a hard rock barrier around oneself like that, that no emotions can go in or get out.....
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