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Old 11th April 2012, 02:53 AM   #1
lctexas
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Please read my husband no longer wants to be married

Please read. I will take all advice to heart. Me and my husband have only been married for two months. I am 38 he is 37. He has informed me that he does not want to be married as he says he does not like having to answer to someone. He was married for 19 years but divorced for 4 years. All I have ever asked from him was to please let me know when he was off. But he does not want to. I am a wife that cooks dinner for him every night. I make his lunches for work. I make sure the house is always clean. I always wait on him. Like bringing him his food. He even tells me that I am a good woman. So with that then why would he want to leave me. All I ever do is try to please him. I am home every day when he gets home. This past week he has been sending me mixed signals. He has been always praying with me before he goes to work. And he still does. And he still tells me he loves me. He even plays around with me. But the past few days he has not been coming home tell 930 or 10 and when he does get home he does not kiss me hello or give me a hug. And I still make his lunches and his dinner. As far as the sex goes. I am constantly flirting with him. But he went four years without it and now he says he really has no desire for it. And he is a attractive guy. He told me the other night that he did not like having to answer to someone. As in he wants to come and go as he pleases. And not have to call someone and say hey I will be late. I told him it was just common courtesy. But he says he does not want to have to answer to no one. It just makes no since to me. What should I do? I am lost and I do love him. Thank you Stacey
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Old 11th April 2012, 05:18 AM   #2
chosen
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Re: Please read my husband no longer wants to be married

Hi Stacey
I cant work out your figures. If he was married for 19 years and divorced for 4 years that makes him married at 14 years old! Not possible surely.
Assuming that you typed in the wrong numbers here is my answer.
If he didnt want to answer to anyone then why did he marry you only 2 months ago? Seems crazy to me. He clearly wants to act like a silly teenager, staying out in the evenings,as if he has no marriage.Of course it is right that he lets you know if he will be late, thats what married people do.
You say that he prays with you, so is he a Christian? Are you? If you are then you need to go and see your pastor because as a Christian there is no way that he can act as he is with no consequenses.As for the sex, just because he has been 4 years with no sex, the sex drive doesnt just go away and I think he may be lying as to why he doesnt want sex, he is only 37 after all.
Do you know where he goes in the evenings? Is it possible that he is seeing someone else? Do you know why his first marriage ended? Does he have children from his first marriage and does he still see his ex?
One thought is to go out yourself and not tell him where you go or when you will be back. See what he feels like whenyou do the same as he is for a while.
He has no reason to end the marriage and sounds like a very selfish very immature man.
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Old 11th April 2012, 06:26 AM   #3
1aokgal
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Re: Please read my husband no longer wants to be married

Dear Stacey...

Welcome to the forum. I agree with Chosen, either the story doesn't make sense or the math is wrong , or both. This man sounds like a screwball to me! Two months into the marriage and already catting about in the evening and telling you he'd rather not be married! You surely must not have known him any length of time at all. Sounds like a quickie internet connection.

I hope you have your money and your assets in a safe place, because he sounds like a hit and run artist who gets what he can and then is out of there. Sometimes the motive for fast marriage is for a piece of womans' home or a payout to end an unwise marriage. The man sounds not just immature, he sounds like a con artist to me. You need to know where he goes in the eve and to find out his past history and marital history.

There are websites one can do a search on a persons' filed marriages, divorces and criminal record. This info can be had for under $25.00You need some fast answers. Protect yourself, and find out his background without asking him, so you get the truth. Get your assets in a safe deposit box or secure place. Make sure he is not on credit cards, life insurance or other assets.

Do you know or have met any of his family or friends? It sounds like you are in a bit of a mess. Hope you can sort that out fast.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 11th April 2012 at 11:25 PM.
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Old 11th April 2012, 08:41 AM   #4
Raymond
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Re: Please read my husband no longer wants to be married

He obviously likes his independence too much for him to have considered marriage. It does sound very weird to me the way he is behaving after only two months. I agree with 1okgal. Find out what he is up to. There shouldn't be any secrets kept from the other spouse. He is not letting you into his life in a meaningful way and it does sound like he got married under false pretenses. No sex as well? Why didn't he tell you this in the first place?

It could be that his first wife controlled him so much that he is rebounding against that. Only a thought.

If there is no sex that goes against all the sentiment of marriage and perhaps the marriage can legally be anulled on the grounds that it has not been consumated?
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