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Old 19th July 2013, 12:13 PM   #16
X-KID
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Re: Is there something going on?

Thanks again guys, i think i will give it untill this "works do" and then see if i can observe them on it. My wife will think i am at work so her guard will be down, this may lead to me getting some cold hard evidence. To answer your question Helenuk, no i can't live in a marriage that has no trust, so if something is going on, i kinda think this could be the end, my reasoning behind that is, i wouldn't do it to her so i dont ecxpect her to do it to me, and there is no excuse as to why you would do it either.
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Old 19th July 2013, 12:51 PM   #17
Raymond
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Re: Is there something going on?

When is the works do X-kid? What do you do just turn up uninvited then hide and peep? It would not be that out of place to be friendly to your boss at a works do. It's what happens when they are alone that would be more revealing.

How is she relating to you at home? Has anything drastically changed? We still do not have proof only strong suspicions.
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Old 19th July 2013, 02:45 PM   #18
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Re: Is there something going on?

Not alot has changed at home really, sex has increased a bit i would say, but other than that nothing really apart from the guarding the phone thing. As for going to the work do my paln was to observe them from a distance on the quiet, as im pretty sure its more of a date than a work do!!
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Old 19th July 2013, 03:02 PM   #19
chosen
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Re: Is there something going on?

Have you ever asked why she needs to guard the phone and why she is texting her boss so much?

Is he married? Does he have kids? I think a threat to tell his wife will work wonders actually.
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Old 19th July 2013, 03:23 PM   #20
Helen_uk
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Re: Is there something going on?

I'm with chosen on this , guarding mobile phones and deleting texts is always a sure sign something isn't right .

I went through this myself and gave him the benefit of the doubt ( he always had an explanation and would never admit the truth ) . I waited and waited for evidence and proof but by the time I got it I'd been though 2 years of hell. To me it just isn't worth it.

If you choose your words carefully it's possible to bring it up without being confrontational , but if you really feel you need hard evidence first then yes, see what happens at the works do .
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Old 19th July 2013, 08:27 PM   #21
Raymond
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Re: Is there something going on?

That's one thing you can do xvid if it was possible. Contacting this fellows wife. You know that he has said that he has feeling towards your wife that he shouldn't have. Bringing that out into the open with his wife would surely have an affect. It could be done on the basis of protecting your marriage and hers.

What you don't fully know is your wife's response to this. Is she humouring him or feeling flattered or responding? Who knows? I would say that having more sex and being normal with you could be a good sign but there are obviously things that need to be cleared.
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Old 20th July 2013, 07:25 PM   #22
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Re: Is there something going on?

I was thinking of saying to my wife, that I need to ask her a question, then explaining that I saw the text that said her boss has feelings for her, if u do it that way then if I am wrong I can say it was just an accident that I saw the message as I picked up the wrong phone. What do you guys think?
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Old 20th July 2013, 08:19 PM   #23
chosen
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Re: Is there something going on?

I am not sure you have to explain yourself like that, but just say I know that something is going on between you and your boss and I want it to stop right now. If she says how you do know, just say that doesn't matter, I just know and I want it to stop.

Does the man have a wife and kids?
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Old 20th July 2013, 08:39 PM   #24
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Re: Is there something going on?

As far as I am aware he has a son but is NO longer with that woman, but does have a girlfriend.
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Old 20th July 2013, 09:52 PM   #25
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Re: Is there something going on?

So he would be cheating even if they aren't married. He sound pretty unreliable as far as relationships and commitment are concerned.
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Old 21st July 2013, 09:19 AM   #26
Raymond
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Re: Is there something going on?

He sounds a bit of a loose cannon to me. Because he is no longer married he won't be accountable to a wife which makes it more difficult.

You have to move fast I think. Personally I would admit that you looked at her phone because of all the contact she was having out of hours with him and found out things. Especially that he has a crush on her. That is not a healthy environment for her to work in especially if she is not dealing with it properly. The contact she is having outside her professional work would only encourage him. However you do it it has to come out in the open somehow. I don't agree with a direct accusation just on suspicion as you could be wrong but you are a married couple so you must find a way for this to be discussed between you.
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Old 25th July 2013, 09:16 PM   #27
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Re: Is there something going on?

Well I have found more texts on her phone saying she can't take pics at the moment as she is sat with me!! Also there are texts saying about putting hands on each other, however the one that stands out for me is, the one that says how things have cooled off a little since last week. Although I have no proof, I'm sure that text relates to when I ran up the stairs at my wife's work.(as mentioned in a previous post) do I now have enough to confront her with?
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Old 26th July 2013, 02:13 PM   #28
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Re: Is there something going on?

I'm going to confront her over it this weekend, does anyone know a good way of countering the "how dare you snoop and look at my phone" response?? which i am pretty much 100% sure she will give me.
Thanks
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Old 26th July 2013, 02:14 PM   #29
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Re: Is there something going on?

Well I have found more texts on her phone saying she can't take pics at the moment as she is sat with me!! Also there are texts saying about putting hands on each other, however the one that stands out for me is, the one that says how things have cooled off a little since last week. Although I have no proof, I'm sure that text relates to when I ran up the stairs at my wife's work.(as mentioned in a previous post) do I now have enough to confront her with?
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Old 26th July 2013, 02:18 PM   #30
chosen
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Re: Is there something going on?

Say that you strongly suspected that something was going on and that's why you looked. She will probably accuse you of invading her privacy and of being jealous and paranoid. Its unlikely she will be honest with you. You need to decide now what you want to happen such as, she looks for another job, she stops all contact with him, she is open with her phone at all times and anything else that you can think of..

Its clear something is going on.
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