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Old 12th September 2017, 03:34 AM   #1
adriw7878
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Is She Still Cheating?

My apologies if this seemed repeating. I am seeking opinions of those (men & women) who had undergone similar issue ....

1. Married for 25 yrs. with 2 grown up children.
2. I (Husband) was comatosed for 2 yrs and another 1 yr physiotherapy.
3. Wife high corporate position and financially free.
4. Me (financially free) and given all assets (house & new car) to wife.

Current situation:-

1. Wife steady in maintaining herself (looks and health). Goes to gym (6 am-7 am) before heading to office. (Mon-Fri). I am very grateful and praises her diligence.

2. While I was getting my senses back (during physiotherapy days), I noticed she only come back from office around midnight (Mon-Fri). When I kissed her (to greet her), tasted alcohol on her lips. She said she was counselling staff. I told her my unhappiness and asked her to resign. She said "No. I enjoy my work." Started to be back by 7pm.

3. I am getting better by the day and mobility is improving through more exercises. I can drive now. Mental alertness almost perfect now ... see my post here

4. Had a row with her recently. She thought I was asleep and was texting (11 pm). Then she left the room and went to the kitchen. I thought she went to get herself a drink and pretended to be asleep. After 30 mins, I decided to see what was she up to? She was on the phone with a guy (I suspect) as she was giggling and giving ideas to the other person on how to 'punish' office mates. I was standing outside kitchen window and could hear her clearly .... certainly a guy on the other line (ended with plans for lunch the next day. No "I love you." there.) She switched off lights in kitchen and came out ... didn't noticed me by the window.
I asked her who was she talking to at this hour. She said "Samantha." - an ex colleague (6 months) who is now a property agent. (Samantha is just another lady sitting in the next cubicle who never met me and my wife haven't gone dinner with - to show just another ex colleague). I asked her to show me her phone log, she said "My private matter." stormed off to restroom and deleted her phone log and messages. She kept her mobile very private and never leave it alone in the house ... always holding it and to the bathroom when she goes for her showers.

5. I told her I would forgive and forget if she was having an affair during my 2 yrs of comatosed but not now. I asked if she wanted a divorce. She said "No. I will not leave you. Transfer all your cash to me for safe keeping." I said "No. Will divorce her if she is having an affair."

6. What upset me and caused me to write in for advice was I saw her taking her mobile out from under her pillow this morning. She used to keep her mobile on the shelf next to her side of bed. I didn't see the mobile there for pass few nights and thought she was charging her mobile somewhere. O dear ... am I imagining the worst?

Thanks.

P/S Going for couple counselling next week.

Last edited by adriw7878; 12th September 2017 at 03:39 AM.
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Old 13th September 2017, 10:30 PM   #2
chosen
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

Anyone who is that secretive about their phone is hiding something. If she is hiding it then its clearly a wrong relationship. Sorry. Is there any way that you can find out more?
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Old 14th September 2017, 10:18 AM   #3
triciamint
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

I agree with chosen. Something's always off when a person is secretive about his or her phone. Had a friend whose partner would even go to the bathroom with his phone with him. It's not a good sign.
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Old 17th September 2017, 09:03 AM   #4
adriw7878
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

Hahaha. She got a 6th sense with her phone. 2 nights ago she was charging her phone by the window and after a long day fell asleep (snoring .... loudly). I woke up to go to the bathroom and noticed her phone being charged, I took it out to the living room to see what she kept in her phone.

Alas, she code-locked her phone and in a minute I heard her coming out of the room (1 am). I quickly put her phone underneath a magazine and pretended to check messages in my phone. She asked me "Where's my phone?". I said "I thought it's with you.". She asked me to call her mobile, and it rang. She took it from under the magazine and happy it was still locked (smiling). Told me "Don't touch my phone."

Since she coming back at 7 pm recently, phone chat must be limited. She kept making excuses to go somewhere (grocery, pharmacy and even public toilets). Caught her a few times where she was unusually long at mall toilet, she started coming back from another floor. Saying "Many people inside ... have to use other toilet." She is full of s**t .... I waited 20 minutes and only saw 3 ladies using toilet.

Engaging PI next week.
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Old 17th September 2017, 12:48 PM   #5
chosen
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by adriw7878 View Post
Hahaha. She got a 6th sense with her phone. 2 nights ago she was charging her phone by the window and after a long day fell asleep (snoring .... loudly). I woke up to go to the bathroom and noticed her phone being charged, I took it out to the living room to see what she kept in her phone.

Alas, she code-locked her phone and in a minute I heard her coming out of the room (1 am). I quickly put her phone underneath a magazine and pretended to check messages in my phone. She asked me "Where's my phone?". I said "I thought it's with you.". She asked me to call her mobile, and it rang. She took it from under the magazine and happy it was still locked (smiling). Told me "Don't touch my phone."

Since she coming back at 7 pm recently, phone chat must be limited. She kept making excuses to go somewhere (grocery, pharmacy and even public toilets). Caught her a few times where she was unusually long at mall toilet, she started coming back from another floor. Saying "Many people inside ... have to use other toilet." She is full of s**t .... I waited 20 minutes and only saw 3 ladies using toilet.

Engaging PI next week.
Good idea, you need to know what is going on.
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Old 22nd September 2017, 05:59 PM   #6
adriw7878
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

It must be a BIG YES. Just had family (20 pax) dinner at hotel restaurant, she made 3 trips into washroom with her mobile. I asked if she's ok ? She said got a slight stomach upset.
When she wanted to make 4th trip to washroom, I said "Better leave your phone here and have a proper visit to washroom." She suddenly looked cross, put her mobile inside her bag and upset stomach cured ! No need to visit bathroom anymore. Full of s**t !!!
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Old 25th September 2017, 06:43 AM   #7
adriw7878
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

She caught me and tried lovey dovey with me. I am not buying it yet....

She saw an official mail addressed to me. She tore it open and saw record of my last will - all cash to children and she got a fat ZERO. Asked what's this? I told her "Ask your phone lover. Please delete me from your will too - better will all to children." She started to caress me and said "Let's make love." I told her "Better sleep well. You gottta work tomorrow and I got a few more matter to settle."
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Old 25th September 2017, 10:51 AM   #8
Raymond
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

Well done. I think you are doing the right thing. It seems obvious she is not playing fair.
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Old 20th November 2017, 10:42 AM   #9
podscaley
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by adriw7878 View Post
It must be a BIG YES. Just had family (20 pax) dinner at hotel restaurant, she made 3 trips into washroom with her mobile. I asked if she's ok ? She said got a slight stomach upset.
When she wanted to make 4th trip to washroom, I said "Better leave your phone here and have a proper visit to washroom." She suddenly looked cross, put her mobile inside her bag and upset stomach cured ! No need to visit bathroom anymore. Full of s**t !!!
uh oh, seems like she is still cheating.
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Old 20th November 2017, 06:08 PM   #10
adriw7878
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

I made an error last night (Sunday night). At family dinner (20 pax), I threw out my temper at her. I was very tired (around 10 pm). All my in-laws (parents and her siblings) called her later and told her I had not respected her. This was what happened ....

1. She took me to my favourite restaurant for breakfast. It was a very nice breakfast and I thanked her for her time and company. We went home and I feel asleep at 10.30 am and woke up at 2.30pm .... she was not at home?

2. I played cool and did not want to let her know I was already up and waiting for her as we have a family dinner at 7.30 pm that evening. She got home at 6.30pm and I asked where she went? She said nearby shopping mall to pick up a facial powder. I asked when you go there? She said 4.30pm ..... full of s**t.

3. We changed and left for dinner with family, she was looking very tired. They (her family members) had a whiskey jamming session ... her siblings was waiting for her to finish her drink and she was struggling to. I was surprised since she was a good drinker .... unless she was out binging earlier in the afternoon.

4. I walked over to their drinking table, took my wife's glass and poured it away. Told her in a loud voice "now, go home !" Silence in the dining room. I walked out of the dining room followed by her.

I felt bad and will make a trip to my parent-in-laws to convey my apologies.
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Old 13th October 2017, 03:43 AM   #11
triciamint
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

She's acting suspicious. What I don't understand is why she doesn't want a divorce. How did couple counseling go? A friend of mine went to couple counseling and also contacted a soul love mentor at Ecstatic Intimacy. They're working things out. His wife cheated on him and he was devastated. I and the rest of his friends advised him to just divorce her but he didn't want to. Hopefully you and your wife will get that closeness back. If not, you're better off without her. Good luck and God bless!
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Old 13th October 2017, 06:38 PM   #12
Raymond
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

Maybe she doesn't want a divorce because she wants the cash. She has told Adriw to transfer all his cash to her for safekeeping. (see point 5 on first post). That would be fatal in this situation. She is obviously not playing open. Too many signs. One hopes that she will be more open and honest but I don't see any sign of it and how long do you wait?
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Old 13th October 2017, 09:32 PM   #13
adriw7878
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

I will wait until I get evidence of her 'other' activities. In public (in presence of friends) she kept acting her loving spouse charade .... hugging, caring for me. Once home, a changed animal appeared .... kept phone with her wherever she goes and hardly talk to me. She just go off to room and sleep. Not even wishing me 'good night'.

I am acting cool and pretend not to noticed her changed behaviour at home. I want to catch her red handed and divorce her. I suspect she may have taken a life insurance on me and was disappointed when I got better. Kept encouraging me to travel oversea ... ON MY OWN?????

The reason I do not want to divorce her out-right was the over 20 years we have been happily married. Waiting for her wrong move.
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Old 16th October 2017, 09:41 PM   #14
Raymond
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

You are on plan two waiting for her to slip up. Best way is to lie low and pretend not to notice anything. Give her enough rope and let her feel secure and she will eventually slip up. It may take time and a period of turning a blind eye when you suspect things, but the proof will come.
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Old 18th October 2017, 07:52 PM   #15
chosen
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Re: Is She Still Cheating?

You can buy a VAR, a voice activated recorder, which you can fix to the underside of her car seat, so if she rings anyone up you will hear what she says. When its almost certain that she has another man, its not wrong to do things like this in my opinion.
Another option is for you to do what she does. Lock your phone, take it with you everywhere, keep disappearing off when you at out, and be secretive. This may shake her up and make her realise what she is doing.
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