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Old 10th April 2011, 11:25 AM   #31
chosen
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

Chamomile, yes it was candid wasnt it.lol. I think its good for us Christians to discuss such things if it helps. In the world, sex is rampant, its everywhere we look. so as believers we do need to put Gods side dont we, and to be open about any problems and difficulties that may arise. God made us as sexual beings, and sex in marriage is good and blessed. I do think that some of that Victorian type repression of sex, as being 'naughty', still remains in the church(although it is improving),and that is so sad. I mean, havent they read the song of songs? It is very erotic.
People have tried to spritualise it, but its a description of love and sex between a man and woman.
Blessings
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Old 10th April 2011, 06:45 PM   #32
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Smile Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

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Originally Posted by chosen View Post
I do think that some of that Victorian type repression of sex, as being 'naughty', still remains in the church(although it is improving),and that is so sad. I mean, havent they read the song of songs? It is very erotic. People have tried to spritualise it, but its a description of love and sex between a man and woman. Blessings
Cannot agree more there Chosen Very inspiring too. Beannachd Dia dhuit
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Old 10th April 2011, 06:59 PM   #33
Raymond
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

My understanding of sodomy is that the word same from Sodom. In scripture it is to do with what homosexuals do. I have never heard it connected to marriage.
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Old 10th April 2011, 07:31 PM   #34
chosen
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

yes Raymond, its one of those grey areas I guess, but I know that for my husband and myself we both feel strongly that it is a no no, and that the back passage just isnt designed for that.
I have also heard from those who minsiter to, and pray with, those who have been into sexual sin, that evil spirits can be passed from one person to another through anal sex. To me it isnt something that I would ever feel comfortable with, and that God has given women a perfectly good place for the penis to go, and that is also how babies are conceived of course. I cant see how it can be done without causing physical damage, either then, or later in life.
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Old 10th April 2011, 07:34 PM   #35
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

There is nothing more disgusting than having a penis in a poop shoot. Every stroke feels (from the one on the "receiving end") like having a repeated uncontrollable LARGE bowel movement. I understand the sensation is different and desirable for the man, but there is a reason that God does not want us to act contrary to what He intended in nature. Those who practice this often end up with all kinds of tears and infections and if continued long enough, end up wearing diapers to prevent "accidents" from happening unexpectedly. The smell and bacteria being transfered is enough to get a clue.

What "spirit" do you think is promoting this perversion of God's design?
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Old 10th April 2011, 08:15 PM   #36
chosen
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

I agree forever, and that is why it makes me feel so uncomfortable. I know that it is said that if both spouses agree anything is OK, but I dont go along with that because surely for the one on the receiving end it must be exteemly painful and uncomfortable, and as you say it does do long term damage.
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Old 10th April 2011, 09:18 PM   #37
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

I also think there are other sexual practices going on now days that the Lord would not approve of, but which the Bible is silent. For instance, what if a married couple thought that smearing their fecal matter, or spraying *cough* all over his wife's face were a thrill among other things? Where is the love and supposed intimacy in that? Or what if they both decide that watching porn together is going to enhance their libido? Is this what sexually loving our spouse is boiling down to now days? I think some things are just worse than what animals would do, and degrading in and of themselves, and wonder how such things creep into the bedroom. We can defile the marriage bed by the spirit we bring to it...worldly.

Once those kind of lines are crossed, it is hard for the man especially to go back to what should have been considered normal and satisfying.

Last edited by Forever; 10th April 2011 at 09:24 PM.
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Old 11th April 2011, 10:12 AM   #38
Raymond
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

I've never heard of any christians approving of porn Forever. Surely that is obviously wrong as it is introducing third parties into the bedroom and could open the way to temptation for one or the other.

As for the other you mentioned I won't even comment on it is it so disgusting.

Where did the Christian Marriage sex forum go?
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Old 11th April 2011, 10:19 AM   #39
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

I agree with both Chosen and Forever.
As you two, wisely mention, it looks like that various health-risks associated with anal sex are well documentated.
Attraction of anal sex must have something to do with the association of having power and control in giving anal sex to a woman who submits herself to this. Perhaps, the real attraction is crossing that boundary and a sexual deviation from the "norm"?
I would not be surprised if Porn has its huge role to play.
It's a shame to be honest, if there are some minority of Christian men who think that this type of sexual act would be giving their wives a great pleasure.
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Old 11th April 2011, 03:32 PM   #40
Forever
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

Raymond,

Seventy percent of men in the USA that claim to be Christian, (that means many unsuspecting women are marrying or are married already to these men), are caught up in porn. This is the reason why all those disgusting things are creeping into the average bedroom and why even Christian women are having to deal with such things.
These women CAN NOT even talk to their Pastors about the horror of it all, because some of the things that are happening are too humiliating and would make the Pastor turn green. Oh, and by the way...fifty percent of Pastors are caught up in porn here also, so who is safe to go to? It could also lead to a divorce once the husband finds out what has been exposed from the wife...kind of ruins his pious image.

Of course you have not heard of Christian men approving of Porn. They would never admit to approving of it yet they are still doing it.

That is why this was brought up in a Christian Sex Forum. Luckily, we are anonymous here. Where else can they go? If they go to a secular forum to find out what to do, they will be told to "loosen" up and learn to enjoy....even called names for not wanting to do these kind of perversions. Porn is the gift that keeps on giving.

It is an EVIL spirit that is seducing our men into perversion of every kind, and taking what God meant to be very good and turning it into something degrading. In my opinion, even the man who is wanting to do these things is just as degraded...but enjoys it too much to stop.

Last edited by Forever; 11th April 2011 at 06:45 PM.
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Old 11th April 2011, 10:28 PM   #41
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

One other thing. My own husband used to quote the Scripture about how "the marriage bed is undefiled" in order to justify doing some of the things he saw on porn and to apply pressure on me to submit to it. He thinks that God sanctions anything and everything a married couple can conceive of just because they are married. Lucky me, I have a brain as well as a spirit that can sense when his spirit is being comandeered by something evil.

Homosexuals also hold hands, kiss, and cuddle as do lesbians. Does that mean these things should also be off limits to married couples since those groups do the same thing? Does that mean they can carry on in their relationships as long as they dont sodomize each other? My opinion is that the very core relationship between homosexuals is wrong regardless of whatever means they use to express their sexuality. They also do oral sex...does that mean we cant do any of that either? So it isnt just what they do, its what they are in God's eyes.

I think the act of sodomy in itself is a serious breach in God's design for any human sexuality, and that is why it is off limits...even to us that are not homosexual.

Last edited by Forever; 11th April 2011 at 10:50 PM.
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Old 11th April 2011, 10:45 PM   #42
Raymond
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

I think that claiming to be a christian and being a christian are two different things Forever. Over here being a christian is not necessarily popular or fully understood so the situation is a bit more clear. I have never heard of any man involved in porn in our churches. I know that does not necessarily mean that it is not there. I have never actually come across it in any church I have ever been in. I think if one was doing it they would be under so much conviction of the spirit in the meetings that they would really have a hard time.

The nearest thing I got to it was a peeping Tom problem where he was warned consistently by the pastor and then eventually exposed to the whole church in a special meeting called for that purpose.

I think you are right about a spirit. I sometimes think of the flood proceeding from the dragons mouth to drown the church. Something is happening in our day and we are seeing a flood of it more and more. I can agree with you there.

One has no way of knowing how deep the problem is in the church here. One only sees their own type of churches and I don't think I have ever heard the word mentioned yet. Maybe the people who have a problem go to centres where they can get help anonymously and nobody ever hears of it.

I am a bit wary of judging what other married couples do in the privacy of their of their own bedrooms as that is their faith and who am I to judge. People can make pronouncements on practically everything saying it is wrong or okay but which the bible is silent about. In the end we are down to opinions and winning or losing the argument through majority or minority points of views which I think is a very erratic way of learning our marital behaviour. One just has to have their own faith before God for what they do or don't do. He is our judge and he uses our consciences, His word and others through whom He might speak through.

Personally I think it is a thing of joy that God has given in marriage which can be spoiled by a wrong guilt if we are not careful. I am talking about sex here not any particular behaviour and of course only in marriage.
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Old 11th April 2011, 10:55 PM   #43
Forever
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

I am glad to hear things have not gotten so bad there as they are here. I am not talking about sex in general either...I am talking about sodomy and other things that are obviously related to aberrant sexual behavior. Here, there does not seem to be any concensus as to what is over the top or influenced by spirits...so anything goes, as long as it is between a married couple of course.

As my Pastor says, go ahead and submit... "Spice it up"! when he hears a woman complain of what is going on in the bedroom. Thanks Pastor.

Last edited by Forever; 11th April 2011 at 11:04 PM.
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Old 11th April 2011, 11:09 PM   #44
Raymond
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever View Post
One other thing. My own husband used to quote the Scripture about how "the marriage bed is undefiled" in order to justify doing some of the things he saw on porn and to apply pressure on me to submit to it. He thinks that God sanctions anything and everything a married couple can conceive of just because they are married. Lucky me, I have a brain as well as a spirit that can sense when his spirit is being comandeered by something evil.

Homosexuals also hold hands, kiss, and cuddle as do lesbians. Does that mean these things should also be off limits to married couples since those groups do the same thing? My opinion is that the very core relationship between homosexuals is wrong regardless of whatever means they use to express their sexuality. They also do oral sex...does that mean we cant do any of that either?

I think the act of sodomy in itself is a serious breach in God's design for any human sexuality, and that is why it is off limits...even to us that are not homosexual.
You've written this while I was writing Forever so I will just comment briefly before going to bed and maybe come back to it.

I think if your husband is importing things from porn there is something wrong there in trying them out on you. Hopefully come back to that.

I don't know why you are bringing up homosexuality. I can agree with what you have said. Who's arguing?

With regard to sodomy I do not see the basis for transferring it from homosexuality to marriage. I think that is a jump personally. These things are well documented. Sodomites did it and catomites received but it is never mentioned in scripture in relation to marriage only homosexuality. One can have personal points of view but I cannot see the scriptural basis, only that people have strong feelings about it.

Regarding oral sex it is the same problem. Some spiritual leaders speak or write against it. Others think it is okay. I have delved into this and done a bit of this but after a heart to heart chat with my wife about it she says she is not comfortable with it, so I have dropped it. I have found that it was a desire but not a need so it isn't a problem. I find she is comfortable with things which are a need for some reason which I am very grateful for. Everybody is different and individual and all has to be worked out with our own spouses not everybody else.
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Old 11th April 2011, 11:34 PM   #45
Forever
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Re: Christian Marriage Sex Forum

No "argument" coming from this side, just explaining what I think and what is happening over here in the USA. Homosexuality was thrown out to us by you as for the reasoning why sodomy may be fine between married couples but why it is wrong for homosexuals. I was just trying to say everything is a wrong sexual expression between homosexuals, even kissing, because the whole relationship is not sanctioned by God...not just sodomy if they are engaging in that.

I had first hand, very heavy conviction from the Holy Spirit each time I attempted to indulge my husband's demands regarding anal sex. Prior to that I had NEVER given it a thought since I was never married to anyone who wanted to go down that road. I then spent the next five years trying to explain why God was telling me NO, and why it went against His design for the body and for the dignity of the human soul (those conversations never once included the disgust I personally felt). He finally stopped trying and arguing, butt felt like I was just trying to control him. It is not true...I am trying to obey God.

I asked my husband what is the big attraction....he said because it is so "forbidden". I said, why do you think it is forbidden? He said, logically, it is certainly not designed for that purpose...he said everything Chosen said, but the attraction is still there because the sensation is good and because sometimes he wants to do what he is not supposed to do. He says it is rebellion in the most intimate form.

I have NEVER been convicted regarding oral sex...for me, it is not simply about personal preferences, but about being sensitive to what the Lord is trying to convey as acceptable/allowable or what goes way over the top.


Friends?

Last edited by Forever; 12th April 2011 at 12:42 AM.
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