Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services

Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us

Search

Take the Couple Check-up!

Marriage Week UK

Marriage first aid

Online support for your marriage

Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet


Home > Forums
2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums  

Go Back   2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums > Advice > Marriage Help

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 12th February 2013, 08:40 PM   #1
zebedee
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Wife left - because of extended family

Hello,
This is my first post and i really need some advice. Please bear with me as it is a bit complicated and long.
We have been together 22 years, and married for 18. We have two children aged 12 and 14. My wife had a difficult relationship with her family, particularly her mom who was unsupportive and emotionally abusive when she was growing up.
Our first 9 years together were very happy. We had our two children and decided to move to her family's city to be near her family and share their first grandchildren. My wife was also hopeful of a better relationship with her mom. We were there 9 years and things did not get better between her and her mom. I got on quite well with her family but always tried to support my wife.
We left when I found a teaching job in Asia. All our problems began when I was skyping her family to keep in touch. My wife and I had a big fight because my wife did not want to stay in touch with them. She was angry that I had stayed in touch without asking her first. Fair enough. I decided to write a letter to her mom telling her mom that she had caused my wife a lot of pain. Her dad wrote back defending his wife and my wife was upset, and we cut ties with them after that. That was 4 years ago, but unfortunately, her father also had cancer, and died just over a year ago. They still weren't talking at that point. So my wife was not invited to the funeral and was obviously upset.
-Hope you are still with me as it gets worse-
My family(sister and mom) were also in touch with my wife's family. They had always got on well. My wife found out they were in touch and demanded that my family break ties with her family at the same time we cut ties. When my father-in-law died my sister sent an email to my wife saying she was sorry that to hear he had died. My wife was furious that my sister and mom had stayed in touch with her mom over a number of years when we were estranged. she sent an angry email to my sister.

As a consequence my wife said that my family was not welcome in our house. In the last year this has escalated to the point that I was not allowed to send or receive Christmas presents for our boys, from my mom or sister. Mywife and I have had numerous bad arguments in the past year, almost every month. To make things worse in the last 6 months, I promised to cut ties with my sister, but was secretly emailing her about exchanging Christmas gifts. When my wife found my emails, she was furious. I promised to cut all ties with my sister which I have since December. As an added complication my mom has cancer, so I have been defending my mom while trying to remain loyal to my wife. Then last week I tried skyping my mom because I haven't spoken to her for a number of months. My wife found out, and stormed out of the house. I haven't seen her since. She feels I have lied to her, which I have(But only about communicating to my family). But I feel I have been bullied into cutting ties with my own family when I dont feel they had done anything so bad.
Please help with some advice.
Thanks for reading this far.
Lost and confused..
  Reply With Quote
 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 01:50 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


Top

Copyright ©1999-2024 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer