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Old 1st January 2016, 04:13 PM   #1
kayjay2000
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Don't know what to do

The last thing I want is to split up from my husband as I don't believe it is a Christian thing to do. However, I am now at the point where I'm not sure of any other option. I don't have anyone I can talk to and I really need some Christian advice.

We have been married for 16 years and have three children. Until 9 months ago my husband had been an acoholic. He has now stopped drinking altogethet and I feel like I should be really happy. I am, but so much has happened I am finding things very hard. My husband has always had a terrible anger problem. Over 15 years I have been shouted and sworn at many times every week. One of many examples is that he threw out stuff of mine that I wanted and when I said I was upset he shouted and swore at me very agressively telling me how everything was my fault and how I don't think about how he is feeling. Everything always turned back to being about him.

After many years of never being able to tell anyone that I was abused and raped as a child, I managed to tell him which was the hardest thing I ever did. His response was anger at me for not telling him before and he told me that because of that I have ruined our marriage. That was 10 years ago and as far as I'm aware his thoughts are still the same.

Several years ago he would get angry with me if I spoke or tried to put my arm around him in bed, to the point where he would hit me if I did it. Although this was a long time ago I still get into bed, turn the other way and don't make any conversation. Sex never happens, partly due to this and also because I am actually really scared of doing it due to what happened when I was little. It was fine when we first got married, but then the more angry my husband became to me the less I wanted sex. I do feel bad about this and I know that my husband really hates me because of this.

He has never shown much interest in the children at all. I do pretty much everything arround the house. I don't ask for too much help as I know it will end up in him shouting moaning and getting angry.

His anger has got better over the last year as he has been taking antidepresants. However, it is still there and he gets very worked up at me and our eldest daughter. Very often I listen to him shouting at her and it is like he hates her. I can't bare to put up with that. I know it upsets her. However, many times she has told me how terrible it is that her friend's parents have split up and she would hate that to happen.

He never wants to do anything with me or the children and doesn't seem ever seem interested in anything I say.

I feel he has made a big change by giving up drinking and so I feel terrible to say to him that it's not enough. However, so much has happened, I don't enjoy being arround him walking on egg shells all the time and I want to be happy for once, but my biggest concern is doing the right thing for my children.

Has anyone got any advice?
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