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Old 14th March 2016, 03:48 PM   #1
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1
Unhappy Love advice required

Dear Friends,

My life has become hell and I feel lost without any emotional connection with people around me. I am writing this as I have no one to offer personal advice regarding my lovelife. I am sharing whatever I feel and require assistance from the group members to help me select the right path.

Around last year a girl (lets call her Roma) added me on FB. She looked cute in her pics and we started talking to each other. We spoke for around 1 month on phone and in a short duration we had built a good friendly relation. We spoke about each others offices and our daily lives. We had become good friends. She lived in Jaipur (rajasthan). In last Dec I had to go for company business to Jaipur. I spoke to her about living together in hotel for a few days. She immediately agreed. I booked the hotel and after my company's work was over we lived together in the hotel for 8 days. The relationship that time was more of physical than emotional. Inspite of having physical relationship we hardly spoke about each others lives, ambitions, dreams, and we hardly spoke about love for each other. In the entire trip none of us expressed any love towards the other. Then I cam back from the trip.

I felt that the girl did not love me and just wanted to have a casual relation with me. Then within a few months due to pressure from my family and lack of any feeling of love with the girl I agreed for engagement with a separate girl arranged by my parents. Even when I was engaged, me and Roma continued to meet and have physical relationship.

Due to some family dispute my engagement broke off in a few months. I used to talk with Roma and told her about it. She felt bad but did not utter a single word to passify me. We had sort of an emotionless relationship for 1.5 years where none of us said to each other about love.

Now my parents are looking for another girl for me. I spoke with Roma few times and expressed this feeling that I never felt love from her side. She cried and told me that she loved me all along but was never able to express it. She never held my hand, never took care of me and never uttered anything about marriage.

I am feeling confused about this girl. Within 1.5 month of talking on phone she agreed to get physical with me. I felt no love from her side during our relationship. When I expressed this to her, and the fact that I did not feel any love from her side, she suddenly started being too loving and caring. I cannot forget the fact that she agreed to be in a relationship with a guy who was engaged and she knew that we were not going to be married. I have a doubt regarding the character and loyalty of the girl who may be coerced easily into doing anything without respect for herself or her family.

Now when she says suddenly that she loves me, I feel that she is doing such a thing in desperation. I am not able to decide whether I should continue any relation with this girl or part ways with her once and for all. Thank you for the patience to listen to me. Please help me guys. I need some honest advice. Reply awaited
imkhan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2016, 04:47 PM   #2
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Love advice required

Mm you cannot get over the fact that Roma agreed to be in a physical relationship with a man who was going to get married namely you. I would say you had something to do with it as well. The finger you point at Roma is also pointing back at you, if you can see it.

On paper it would be a just thing to marry Roma having slept with her but I know you cannot force these things. I would give it a chance though and try to get to know her better, but if you are not intending to marry her for goodness sake don't sleep with her. These things should be saved for marriage surely? If you end up not wanting to marry her then leave her alone. Presumably you might then end up in an arranged marriage and it is certainly not fair on your potential new wife to be sleeping around with someone else before you get married.

Last edited by Raymond; 14th March 2016 at 04:52 PM.
Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote

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