Hi folks. I have been a frequent reader here for many years. I could really use some advice.
Summary: Christian couple, each other's first, still my only. Married at 22, now fifty.
Wife had a nasty entangled affair ten years ago. Achieved a recovery of sorts over five years or so using Harley's Marriagebuilders concepts, but it was shallow.
We aren't happy. We have become immune to each others positive traits and particularly irritated by each others less positive traits. Not only is there no romantic love, there is even little LIKE between us.
We do not invest in those uninstinctive things that the other truly values. I HAVE done that, as part of our marriagebuilders recovery but it was one-sided and after several years , I felt embarrassed and withdrew.
I would be happy to divorce, were it not that at fifty this would severely impoverish all of us, and would not even cut each other out of our lives while we still co-parent our young adult children's start towards independence.
I am lonely in my marriage, aching for affection and some kind of adult love but that seems a distant dream about now.
I guess counselling would be a good start but you should know that my wife despises anything introspective and would rather die than share anything intimate with strangers.
Thats a brutal summary friends. Any wisdom for me ? Recommended counsellors in the Midlands ?
Bless you