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Old 31st January 2007, 11:50 AM   #1
Broken
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Question So confused and in need of advice

My boyfriend and i started to get serious in around may 06... only about 8 months ago. Although this is a short period of time, i have never felt like i do for him for anybody else. Being woken in the morning by texts stating im beautiful and going to sleep being told to sleep well, sleep tight, i know where he is if i need him and he loves me more than anything is what i miss most.
His parents had been getting involved alot because we are both due to go to university and they belived we should be spending more time on our studies, i stopped seeing him so much and when we did she each other the main thing we did was argue, untill eventually he said he didnt want to see me cry anymore and hye had to let me go.
After days of heart ache, i sat down to have a big think, i realsied that it could work, i wanted him more than i had ever wanted anybody. I decided that i needed to get a new job so i wasnt alone so much, we both needed to spend time apart without hassle, to do both work and see our friends etc.
When i suggested this to him he agreed and said he was 70% sure that we could sort it out. however he needed 'time'. so i gave him a little time and asked him to meet me.
i asked if he loved me and he replied yes.
i asked if he wanted to be with me and he replied 'yes'.
so i asked what the problem was, why couldnt we start again only do things tottally different. and he replied he couldnt, he didnt no wot he wanted, n we couldnt start again rite now.
so i asked if that was it, he said yes and he walked me back. he hugged me, i asked him to be honest and said 'does it not hurt everytime you see something which reminds you of me' which he replied yes. i answered then your doing the wrong thing and said goodbye.
Everyone told me to leave him be.. so i didnt text, didnt call.. but now he texts me all the time to ask what iv bin up too, if im ok... to say good nite...
im sooo confused and not sure what to do in order to get him back.
i know that he loves me, i know that he is finding it difficult to leave me alone but its giving me mixed messages, i dont know if i should give up!!

any advice would be great, its difficult to explain my every thought on here but i gave it a shot.

thank you x
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Old 3rd February 2007, 05:50 PM   #2
Kate
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Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 1,115
Smile Re: So confused and in need of advice

Dear Broken

It is very hard to get balance in life right when you are both so young and in love. I actually think that mobile phones, texting and email makes it even harder than it was for us when we were your age and going out. It's so easy nowadays to be in touch, that when we can't be for some reason it seems so painful. Also all that contact stirs up our emotions and makes our relationship seem more important than all the other things in our life.

I suspect that your boyfriend is really missing you but doesn't know how to get that balance right. It's something that we all have to learn for ourselves.

You obviously have school work to do to prepare for exams and university and it sounds as though you have a job too, and other friends to see. Try and focus more on these things. When he gets in touch tell him what you've been doing. This will show him that you can have a life that is about more than just him and hopefully he will see that you still care but that you can't have the intensity of relationship he seems to want.

When you go off to university there will be a whole new social life opening up to you and lots of new opportunities and responsibilities looking after yourself in halls of residence or digs. If your relationship is strong enough to last then you will come through all these changes together.

Al the best

Kate
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