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Old 22nd January 2008, 09:28 PM   #1
liz82
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Join Date: Jan 2008
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christian marriage principles

Hi,

can anyone help me with thisone? i need to know the principles of a christian marriage. ive been married for 2 months and i need help. my marriage is rocky as he is much more mature than i am and i keep missing it. i really need help here cause divorce has already been mentioned. books, counselling advice whatever i am open.
Thanks so much
liz82
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Old 23rd January 2008, 10:43 PM   #2
jones
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Re: christian marriage principles

You can't live your life feeling below your husband you should be his other half his equal!! You keep missing it? Missing what? Did he want a wife or a child. If he's threating divorce already somethings wrong with him not you. I believe you should make your marriage work, but I also believe the Lord lets everything happen for a reason so if he leaves you maybe there's better around the corner. Trust after a couple of years of marriage you'll be praying he leaves you!! Maybe do somethings for YOU to better yourself, you said yourself your young.. It's hard to do trust I can't take my own advice on this but if you are doing everything you can do to make it work trust in the lord that he will make everything work out to your benifit in the end. Try picking up a book by Joel Osteen Becoming a better you it may help you alot..
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Old 24th January 2008, 09:36 AM   #3
Kate
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Posts: 1,115
Re: christian marriage principles

Hi Liz82

The reality of being married can be very scary. Don’t lose heart.

You don't mention whether you did any sort of marriage preparation. That can often help to show areas of your life together that need working at. There are resources about Christian Marriage on the site. You could also consider doing an Engaged Encounter weekend or FOCCUS or Prepare. Details are here.

If you have any specific questions do get back to us.

Kate
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Old 24th January 2008, 01:08 PM   #4
nose
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Thumbs up Re: christian marriage principles

Hi Liz82,
i also had similar problems when i got married to the extent that i almost called it quits until i realised that in marriage you have to work it out with your man.
You must understand that the two of you are from different backgrounds and with different upbringing.So you have to learn to understand each other's likes and dislikes to grow the marriage.You must also be prepared to learn to forgive each other and concentrate your energy more on each others' strengths rather than focussing on the weeknesses.When you think more of how you can better the life of the other then you are building a good foundation for the future.
You need to also learn to respect your man when you are with friends as this will help to boost his ego.Dont forget to avoid being coersive nor aggressive.Try this out and lets see how it works out for you.
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Old 24th January 2008, 07:39 PM   #5
Raymond
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Re: christian marriage principles

Kate above can point you to resources that will be helpful in your marriage Liz.

It is very unwise to even mention the word divorce in a marriage that is supposed to be a commitment to each other before God. Hubby is unwose there.

Sometimes our expectations of what marriage is going to be take a battering. You probably both had different expectations before. Nevertheless you can start from where you are and as you look to God He does supply answers and get you through any trials you may go through in marriage. You are on a learning curve Liz and God can really use this time to show you what you should aim for and what he should aim for. He is as much a novice as you are however spiritual he seems and you will see a lot of things he doesn't see. You are a unit. It takes a little time to rub both your corners off, but it will gradually happen. It is well worth it. Marriage can be glorious for the christian in every department so let God have His way and see what Kate above is trying to help you with.

Raymond
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Old 25th January 2008, 12:12 AM   #6
liz82
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Posts: 2
Re: christian marriage principles

Hi all,

it is very helpfull and thank you so much for your help and concerns and ideas.

We had no preperation at all. and we are not living together at present either as he is still in ghana and waiting for his visa.

I will try some of the courses on line here and hope they are not far from me as i live in west london and no car!! I also have a 5 yr old.

thanks once again i will write more later. just got home from mid week service and i am so tired. Liz
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Old 25th January 2008, 01:50 AM   #7
NickL
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Re: christian marriage principles

To answer your question specifically:

Christian marriage is about equal but different roles for husband and wives. In a nutshell: In a Christian marriage, wives respect their husbands and follow the husband's lead - BUT as household leaders, husbands are to love and serve their wives as Christ served the Church. Husbands earn their respect by being selfless and leading by example.

If you want to know more and see Bible references, see the article on Biblical Marriage and follow the links therein.

I hope this can help you in some way - perhaps your husband could use some of the tips on the site linked above to learn more about how a man is supposed to treat his wife.

Without knowing the details of your situation, I cannot comment more. But I can say that I pray that you will get over this early bump in the road and build a strong lasting marriage.

Sincerely,
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