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Old 5th November 2010, 10:07 PM   #1
annieOoops
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Lightbulb I have a life - Just not what I expected

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Old 6th November 2010, 06:01 PM   #2
chosen
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Re: I have a life - Just not what I expected

annie I am so sorry for what has happened to you. A marriage ending like that is always so painful, especially when he rubs it in how happy he now is.

Financially, dont feel that you will only get half of your home value. If he has another woman, who he is living with especially, that will be taken into account . Their joint income will be considered and also the fact that you are unemployed. Even if you find another job where the earnings are far less than his, that will be taken into account and also the fact that he has a pension. All of the joint assets(pension, house, cash etc) will be considered, and you may end up keeping the house, while he has the pension. That is what happened to me, but I had 3 children still at home, one of whom was still a dependant. My ex got to have all of his pension and I got the house(and mortgage). I did eventually have to move to a smaller house as I couldnt afford the mortgage alone, but at least we still had a roof over our heads.

There is hope, there will be less money, and maybe a smaller place to live, but there is life after divorce. Your son may well be leaving home soon presumably, so you will only need 2 bedrooms. It is now 11 years after my 23 year marriage ended, and I am happier than I have been for a very long time, remarried to a lovely man, still in the tiny house, but hoping one day to get somewhere a bit bigger.

Nice that he wants to keep the new lady in clover while he isnt bothered about you.

My advice is to go and see a good solicitor, but you may find that things arent as bad as you think. Dont assume that things will be split 50/50, as earnings are always taken into consideration.
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Old 6th November 2010, 08:53 PM   #3
Raymond
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Re: I have a life - Just not what I expected

It might not be so hopeless financially Annie according to what Chosen has said. She has been through it. My thought is you have other adults (your children) who could also contribute if they are working?

The bigger wound is the desertion and adultery that you will need to heal from. I don't know about your mantra but I would probably not be an encouragement to you on it being a believer in Christ and the scripture which doesn't leave room for mantras.

Last edited by Raymond; 7th November 2010 at 09:33 AM.
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Old 6th November 2010, 10:08 PM   #4
Helen_uk
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Re: I have a life - Just not what I expected

I echo what chosen has said here , find a solicitor asap and protect your rights . You will probably be entitled to legal aid ( assuming you are in the UK ). In any case some solicitors offer a free initial consultation , do it as soon as you can , don't leave it to chance.

You have worked throughout the marriage and bought up a family , you will be entitled to part of his pension . He can't just walk away to " happy land " and take all your joint worldly goods with him.
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