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Old 12th August 2015, 04:34 PM   #31
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

You probably think I'm stupid, but I don't see her leaving. She clings to me if she's not pushing me away. I know, like I said, I'm looking stupider than some people think I am.
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Old 12th August 2015, 04:59 PM   #32
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon View Post
She doesn't see the point in paying someone to "talk" to her, she thinks they all prescribe drugs. And she pretty much says they're for crazy people, and she's not crazy.
Thats is a very offensive attitude and deeply hurtful to the many millions who have counseling for all sorts of reasons large or small, and NO ONE is going to make her take any medication, she seems to be completely clueless about this subject and about what a counsellor does. Counsellors arent qualified to prescribe drugs anyway, they are not doctors.

The facts are 1) she doesnt want to have sex with you 2) she doesnt want you in her bed and 3) she refuses to do anything to help herself or the marriage using lame excuses to avoid doing so. So now, the next step is yours.
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Old 12th August 2015, 05:02 PM   #33
ralfgarnett
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon View Post
You probably think I'm stupid, but I don't see her leaving. She clings to me if she's not pushing me away. I know, like I said, I'm looking stupider than some people think I am.
None of us can see them leaving that's part of the problem, I don't think your stupid you just love and trust your wife as I did and so did NDY, Ronnocco etc, all I am saying is be on your guard because the last thing you want is for her to leave, once they do that it's almost impossible for them to return, they seem to have a mental block about it.
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Old 12th August 2015, 05:07 PM   #34
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Well, I think you're the first. at least, here. I've seen no effort, no indication she'd want to leave. She's even mentioned she's scared I'll cheat, and I don't see that as saying she wants to leave.
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Old 12th August 2015, 05:26 PM   #35
Lindentree1
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Perhaps you can go to counseling if she won't, Jaxon? You might need some support. You are in a very tough situation.

You're not stupid. You're just frustrated. She's shutting you out and refusing to do anything about it. I don't blame you for being upset. You just want your marriage back on track.
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Old 12th August 2015, 05:37 PM   #36
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Well, that's what i was hoping for anyway.
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Old 12th August 2015, 07:04 PM   #37
ralfgarnett
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

"Well, I think you're the first. at least, here. I've seen no effort, no indication she'd want to leave"

Are you for real or simply just in denial ?. nobody feels the inclination this is what I'm saying to you, listen mate the WAW hides her issues so well especially from the LBH we are the last to know, so therefore you would be the last person to know, she would just drop it on you mate without warning completely out of the blue, look up walk away spouse syndrome, you came on here for advice if you don't want to heed it then why ask ?, ok I'm not the most erudite or intelligent of posters on here but I know damn well what it feels like when the bomb drops, and your situation is ringing alarm bells, I wont be repeating myself but watch what is going on around you.
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Old 12th August 2015, 07:05 PM   #38
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

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Well, I think you're the first. at least, here. I've seen no effort, no indication she'd want to leave. She's even mentioned she's scared I'll cheat, and I don't see that as saying she wants to leave.
well she needs to know that if this carries on she IS opening the door for temptation. Thats why God says that we musn't deprive each other of sex, He is very wise.

How about you gently but firmly tell her that you will be coming back to sleep in your own bed from now on. There was no reason for you to leave it to be honest and the longer you stay away from each other physically the more distant emotionally you will both become. Then tell her the things that we have said, such as she needs to get herself help, that no one will force her to take medication, that she wont get pregnant if she chooses a reliable birth control method, that something is very wrong here and it cant go on, and that you are wiling to go with her for some marriage counselling.

All the reasons she gives for leaving things as they are, are excuses. You need to decide whether to take the reins here and take back some control, or leave it as it is and hope that eventually something will change.

There is so much help out there for those who have had miscarriages and lost babies. Look it up on google.

I know I asked this twice, but have their been any medical investigations into why she has had these miscarriages?Did the medical profession give her any indication as to help groups or support for this? has she said when and if she would like to start trying for another baby?

My advise, read through all the replies and think about your next step.

Last edited by chosen; 12th August 2015 at 07:18 PM.
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Old 12th August 2015, 07:12 PM   #39
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

I did come here for help, but it seems like I made a mistake.
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Old 12th August 2015, 07:22 PM   #40
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

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I did come here for help, but it seems like I made a mistake.
why? Take what advise is helpful and use it, and leave what isnt.
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Old 12th August 2015, 07:24 PM   #41
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

No one seems all that interested in helping, just attacking.
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Old 12th August 2015, 07:28 PM   #42
ralfgarnett
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

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I did come here for help, but it seems like I made a mistake.
Jaxon you didn't make a mistake you did the right thing, just because you get mixed opinions is no reason to bail out, all of us have different experiences of bad times, hang in here we are trying to help you in our own ways.
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Old 12th August 2015, 07:34 PM   #43
chosen
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

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No one seems all that interested in helping, just attacking.
Attacking who and what?
You have had many different answers and different words of advise, what did YOU think you need to do now?
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Old 12th August 2015, 07:36 PM   #44
Lindentree1
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

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No one seems all that interested in helping, just attacking.
Really? Have I attacked you?

You have gone through tremendous loss. Miscarriages are heartbreaking, and your wife is acting like a stranger. You have been through the ringer.

I don't believe your wife is getting ready to leave. I think she's terrified, and emotionally paralyzed, so to speak.

We have differing opinions here, but we want to help. If you stay here, I know people will keep trying to support you.
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Old 12th August 2015, 07:43 PM   #45
Jaxon
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.

Towards me and my wife. A lot of acting like it's no big deal, when I'm desperate.
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