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Old 5th August 2008, 09:02 AM   #16
Raymond
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Re: HELP! - Pornography in Marriage

If you have asked Christ in Rupet you have been set free in your spirit. However all this must be appropriated and lived out in your life or what one would call the soul area (mind emotions will). I hope you are in a live fellowship where you are getting the help you need. Try not to believe the lies that come to you but believe Him instead. Are you in the UK or USA?

Raymond
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Old 9th August 2008, 11:56 AM   #17
rupet204
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Re: HELP! - Pornography in Marriage

I'm in the UK, and in a good fellowship but unable to "share" due to the normal reasons in almost any church... wildfire !
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Old 9th August 2008, 12:42 PM   #18
Raymond
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Re: HELP! - Pornography in Marriage

True these things are not shared publicly for obvious reasons but could be shared with a pastor if he was the type who could handle it.

I know of four centres in the UK where you could get help. It would be over a weekend and be personal ministry. What part of the country are you? These centres are Scotland, Lancashire, Surrey and Sussex. Don't know what would be best but know that the Surrey one specialises in it.

They would explain what is happening in the spirit world while you are engaged in this porn. It is helpful to have our eyes opened and not just to look at it as only a physical problem. Why does the enemy try so hard to get us into it. It can't be good that is for sure. Your problem is now to get out of it and all the equipment is there in Christ to use. You may need a bit of teaching on it and some determination. It is true that Christ has already set us free in our spirits but we need to appropriate it into our soul area which includes the sexual area.

Do you want the telephone number or e mail of one of these places? I know lots of people who have experienced deliverance from various things through their kind of ministry.

Raymond
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Old 9th August 2008, 12:45 PM   #19
rupet204
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Re: HELP! - Pornography in Marriage

Thank you Raymond for your interest and concern, in answer, yes I would like to make contact,I'm in Lancashire, but a weekend visit would not be possible.
Regards
rupet
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Old 10th August 2008, 08:07 AM   #20
Raymond
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Re: HELP! - Pornography in Marriage

It might not only be weekends Rupet. They work during the week as well. Give them a ring on 01524 751651 or e mail info@grange.ellel.org.uk

If nothing else they will know of the right books to read. They are really helpful, although have a bit of patience to wait for the right time to suit the subject you are concerned with. They will be able to tell you more about the sessions which would most suit you. I would imagine this would take time and not be a quick fix but they should know the right path from their experience.

You will need persistence in this. Don't be put off by minor things which tend to happen when you are seeking to be free.

Raymond
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Old 10th August 2008, 04:01 PM   #21
rupet204
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Re: HELP! - Pornography in Marriage

Thank you again Raymond I will follow up your contact numbers. I doubt that I will come back on here, I fear being identified. But I will try this number and mail.
Thank you again
rupet
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Old 1st September 2008, 10:46 AM   #22
jsrsolution
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Re: HELP! - Pornography in Marriage

Hi
I'm new to this forum and came wanting to start a thread of my own on a very similar subject, but I read yours and wanted to sympathise and support you in this.

Firstly, I KNOW how much this hurts and the feelings you are having, and I can hear your cry, believe me. And so early on, too - you feel like, if you are "not enough" this early on, what will happen in years to come, right?

And also that you feel differently during sex, as if you are being compared to others who are impossibly beautiful and sexy!

Along with all the advice offered by others (prayer is really the key) I'd like to offer my own journey loke pop art or portrait painters into and along this road which is by no means at an end yet.

Pornography of any kind IS a "big deal" and it DOES affect your relationship, especially trust issues, BUT... at the same time, without excusing it, I know that it's much more common amongst men that we like to admit and doesn't have the same meaning to them as it does to us. Judging by my husband's comments, it's in a different mental and emotional space than his love and desire for me, so at least don't doubt his love for you - that way you can go on loving him and praying for him and not get SO angry that you cut off as well. The devil is trying to make your relationship divide, and to cut you off from one another, so be wary of that.

Are there sexual issues between you and your husband that you can talk through - perhaps he feels inadequate, pressured to "perform" in some way, that he won't be good enough for you, or that you love him in a "pure" way that he thinks can't be arousing - I'm only stabbing in the dark here, but it's worth trying to open a discussion about whether there's any fears lurking in his mind that make porn the safest option for him. How can you take the arousal aspects into your bed and home, without it becoming pure lust?

Also, know that God is practical! God will bring these things to the fulness so that they can be exposed for what they are. What is "acceptable" at the moment can become a cause for disgust if God steps in. I prayed that my husband would be given a sense of disgust, and also that he would be led to "go too far" so that his own sense of danger kicked in and warned him.

Another thing I prayed was that I would find out about it, so that I could confront him with something so unacceptable that he and I would be in agreement, instead of arguing from different sides.

All this God did. The result was a big row, but afterwards he was so shocked by himself, that - of his own will - he decided to pull back, and he repented of it.

Remember that we are not warring against flesh and blood, so go to God about the spirits of uncleanness that are affecting your husband, and see him as a victim of their influences.

I hope things work out for you!
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Old 2nd September 2008, 06:05 PM   #23
Raymond
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Re: HELP! - Pornography in Marriage

You speak sense jsrsolution. I don't know if Rupet is reading it although someone is reading it somewhere. Although there have been 21 posts there have been 2,214 views of the posts on this thread. So your words are not wasted.

Pornography is a massive problem in these days. I watched Fiona's story on BBC1 on Sunday which was based on masses of facts they say. Although that was on child pornography a lot of the things that came up do relate to other pornography.

A point that not many men understand is it does reduce the legitimate sexual activity with the wife because the sexual drive is diverted into another illegitimate area. (In Fionas story it was mentioned that the husband was anaesthetised to normal sexual relations because of the porn) It just doesn't mix with the God given bedroom activity. Yes the legitimate bedroom activity should be encouraged. Proverbs says be intoxicated with your wife. It is about sex because it mentions certain body parts of a wife. This is where frank talking between yourselves helps.

I am glad your husband is now alert as to what is happening although I know it normally takes time to get off this stuff.

Raymond
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