Ok for those who've been on here a while have known about the many changes my life has undergone since March 2009 when I discovered my Wife's affair...
My Ex Wifey and I tried one last go in August 09 for 2 weeks, it went horribly wrong. Why I thought she would change is beyond me... some of you know about the stuff that went down Sept 2008 - July 2009. Not going to get into it. Needless to say in in late Sept I had her move back home as I packed my stuff and moved out.
Since being on my own I've relearned all about myself and concentrated on self improvements, enjoying my new life, and getting settled into change. It has been amazingly eye opening. I still see my kids any time I would like and see them often.
I ended up getting the following tattoo back on November 14th, 2009:
Towards the last week in November 09 I met a 30 yr old with a 12 yr old daughter online on Facebook... we chatted for a week or so then exchanged numbers, then met on Dec 4th. Not gonna lie there were sparks from the start with both of us. We met a couple times after that night and decided to go exclusive on Dec 12th so you could say yesterday was our 1 month anniversary.
Here are some pics of her and I:
Made this for Christmas, she loves the movie but didn't have the soundtrack, so I DLed the 10th Anniversary edition and burned it for her along with the Director's Edition of the movie for Christmas. I also gave her a white gold and diamond heart pendant and Bob Marley - Legends CD.
My GF and I on NYE 2010.
I am back to teaching kung fu weekly as well as back in the gym, still working grave yard shifts which really sucks. I get to see my kids anytime I am available as the Ex and I are still friends in an awkward sense of the word.
I am much happier as is she and more importantly our kids seem happier too despite everything that has happened the last few years. Ex started dating her current BF back in Sept. She was ready for that I still had to heal a bit more and make sure I was ready before doing so.
I really like my GF a lot and have to keep reminding myself to keep my heart in check and not fall deep as she is also new to being "in a real relationship". She had not been in a serious relationship for about 4 years, while mine was a year ago which was about 16 years (14 married). Not divorsed yet, however seeking it later this year.
Waiting on a new IT contract to sign, have my bids in 8 different ones, too many laid off IT professionals and not enough IT jobs... economy really ****ed a lot of people and their families over in all areas of employment. I am confident and patiently waiting for a better IT contract to start up, once it does I'll have a normal life as far as work hours and start making money to pay off my debts and get back into med school.
It's funny how life throws you curve balls when you least expect it. To anyone out there who believes their life is over with out their spouse, understand the following.
- What we are and who we are is not defined by you're spouce but by you alone.
- When you divorse or seperate don't think it's the end of the world, it's the start of a new one. A new chapter in your book of life.
- Dare yourself to improve the qualities about yourself that need a make over. Slim your waist line, go out and have fun, do the things you've put yourself on hold for when you had time.
- Rebuild your esteem and self confidence (it's hard to do but very empowering).
- Resolve as much self negativity as possible, surround yourself with positives and enpowerment.
- Don't sweat the little stuff, if it is not life threatening it's not worth worrying yourslf half silly about, unless you like stress and feeling sorry for yourself.
- Allow yourself to reflect and heal, don't dwell, obsess, or play the victimized feel sorry for me. These only disempower your and put you into an endless loop of self pity, depression, and anxiety.
- Believe you are more then you think you are, don't think you are; know you are.
- Set goals for yourself and be consistan with them (be realistic start small). Trust me yu will feel good about yourself moreso then by procrastinating.
- Cry when you have to, but laugh as often as you can. The more laughter the better.
- Don't surpress you're emotions, work through them. Use them as fuel to achieve your goals.
- What you dominately think and feel will ultimately manifest into your reality. Negative attracts negatives, postive attracts positives.
- Don't look for blaming this or that, simply accept, reflect, resolve, move forward.
These are all things I've had to reteach myself. There are rainbows on the horizon. You just have to go forward in life with a simple choice. That choice is to live on for yourself. If you cannot take care of yourself how will you be able to take care of others. The second is to love yourself, if you cannot love yourself how can someone else love you?