Well when my wife and I got back together over Christmas after a 11mth split of which she had 2 boyfriends which I was not happy about. When we got back together I was hoping we could put the effort in(especially her) and make things right this time, I asked her what is going to stop this from happening again and she said she(we) would not allow it to happen again, especially for the kids as she would not have asked me back.
Anyway it's not been entirely easy over the last several months purely as I am always looking for effort from her to boost my confidence in the relationship so I know she wants it to work as much as I do, this is what you get for affairs and something she doesn't always understand.
Fast forward to late June for our anniversary and things seemed to be going ok although I did struggle to write the card thinking I can't say it's been a great 8 years of marraige given what she has put me through over this period on and off but I have always known I have loved her and just wanted her to feel the same way, she even done a lovely photo montage of us and the kids in a heart shape as a present which I thought was very thoughtful.
Fast forward to mid July and she has changed, shut up shop so to speak, going out a bit more and I am left thinking something is wrong, you get used it after a while, she can't give me any real reasons except it's not working, I tell her I am not really happy purely because of the effort she puts in towards me, there is not much TLC, it's aways me that initiates stuff in all areas and if you don't get that back it makes you wonder if they feel the same way. I tell her this and the money situation with her spending above her means doesn't help either. From my perspective though this is all fixable, I love her, she could give a bit more TLC, is it that hard and with the money we can cut back and stop spending.
Another 2 weeks pass and she is out a fair bit and with my shift pattern at work we don't see each other much, so much so that at the start of August she emails me at work saying it's over
which I find nice after 8 year of marraige. I must admit the last 4 weeks since that email have been **** emotionally for me, a week after that email she asks me to leave, we live in a rented property which i thought was joint tenancy(obviously not) as a week later after spending a couple of nights away to give her some space I return to find 3 of her work colleagues there and my bags packed and locks changed
I am angry and calm and say how could she treat me like this, I had agreed to leave but thought staying in the spare room would be ok for a few weeks whilst I found a suitable house to live in but no she says I need to go.
So I have been living out of a suitcase for the last few weeks staying with friends/family which has not been easy as try to look for a new house 70 miles away from where I want to be is difficult/costly and time consuming.
Last week she sends yet another email saying she has been seeing a guy from work
over the last few weeks(yeah right, it's not entirely a surprise but hurts all the same), says I must be respectful to children and not to be hurtful with any comments etc.
Divorce paperwork is being sent yet again, I guarantee she will be going for unreasonable behaviour yet again so it will be interesting to see what she makes up this time given all the crap she has put me through recently.
Anyway I pick the kids up on Monday and this new guy is staying round the house already(in her bed) on the first weekend of meeting the kids
I am absolutely livid as it's not on, you don't introduce people in this way to children, especially when I only left the house a few weeks back and half my stuff is still dotted around the property.
I phone her up to say I disapprove of her etiquette and that she has picked a decent guy, because anybody that can have an affair behind someone elses back and stay in the same bed the same weekend he meets my kids is obviously a decent bloke that shows he has respect for the situation that's going on.
She is even taken the him and the kids on a break out of term time(another thing I am not happy about) with him, our au-pair and a couple who are her friends, according to the kids she is not taking him to meet the parents even though she is visiting them at the same time.
I think the hardest thing to take in as to how someone can do this to a person they said they loved several weeks back and to someone that has always been there for her, been 100% faithfull and is a genuine decent guy/decent father.
Although this hurts big time, it also angers me more so in that it makes me think I am rid of her, looking back into my relationship recently has made me realise she has treated me badly over the years and I deserve better, this is final this time as far as I am concerned, it's not going to be an easy rest of the year for me but I can now focus with getting on with my life yet again, I must admit I am pissed off that she asked me back last year as I would not be feeling this way now but hopefully it will make me stronger in the long run
Sorry guys I just needed to offload, I know it's the right place to do so
Wish me luck this time round
Jon