Re: advice needed
Your income is your income. You owe nothing into the pot except what the two of you agree upon. Last time I checked YOUR name was on your salary checks, not his. There is no such "legal" document.
You open a checking account at another bank in your name alone for deposit of your salary check each pay period. Is he employed? Does he make enough money to support the household on his income alone? Your dialog with him could be that you will contribute to household some funds if he CANNOT support it alone.
Other disposable income after obligations are paid of your check belongs to you as you choose to use it. Bank it..don't bring into the house. Yoour problem is not about money it is about control. He equates money with power and who has all the money has all the power. This is 2008 and it does not work that way. If you get into an argument..stand your ground and don't argue..put your funds into the account and just tell him nothing. Many working couples pool money for household bills, portion 15-20% for savings and can split some for each as personal income. Then there should be entertainment funds for movies or dinner out.
You also should know how much after tax income he brings to the table. You need an account book for your bills and you both can make a budget. In my household I do it all. He deposits the checks he gets, ALL of it. I pay the bills and keep track of things. I portion to him a percentage of after bills income as he needs as gas, lunches, etc. and special things as his union dues and such I write the checks. I am tighter with the funds so there is more savings and he knows this. We also have a signifiant 401K retirement plan. You should know all this and plan income and outgoing on your home.
You should not have to ask for money to buy a new outfit or spend for something you want. Step up to the plate and be a partner in financial management. Do not allow any man to dictate how your money, that you earned, will be used. Get this into an account in your sole name and checkbook that you control. Do you know where all his money goes? Find out and do not be treated as a child. It is control issue and to keep you dependent.
Last edited by 1aokgal; 24th January 2008 at 05:47 AM.
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