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Old 20th April 2010, 04:50 PM   #61
UpandDown
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

Such insights! Facinating!

Keep strong - you are firmly in reality and he is delusional. Never get the two confused.

Love Kathryn
x
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Old 20th April 2010, 05:08 PM   #62
luce
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

Quote:
Originally Posted by UpandDown View Post
Such insights! Facinating!

lol. Men are so deep.

Quote:
Originally Posted by UpandDown View Post
you are firmly in reality and he is delusional. Never get the two confused.


Thanks Kathryn - i need reminding of this a 100 times a day.
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Old 20th April 2010, 09:56 PM   #63
seven
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

Haven't posted on here in ages, but thought i'd make a reappearance tonight!!

Luce you are bloody awesome. Don't beat yourself up over the tears - they're going to come and go. I bet they aren't anywhere near as fierce as before though. I'm the same, not cried in a couple of weeks, then tonight I got thinking about him, and what could have been, and I got upset again. I noticed that it was more of a fleeting cry, rather than full on sobbing. In fact, for the first time, I actually felt stupid for crying. So then I cooked a sausage sandwich and watched something funny on tv and laughed

He isn't just a pen1s, he's a very small pencil d1ck pen1s

You are doing amazing Luce - don't you ever forget that. xxx
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Old 21st April 2010, 08:38 AM   #64
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

Luce,

You're doing great and you are not insane. I know there are times in all of this when you feel like your brain can't take any more flack and you want to curl up in a corner somewhere and wish it would all go away (I know I do...) but that's when wailing on this forum really helps.

He's saying awful things to you to justify his rotten behaviour to himself. He wishes he never met you? Helen's right - he is not worthy and wouldn't be where he is now professionally without you. I hope you'll soon wish you'd never met him. You'll come out of the other end of this a stronger person; he will always be a limp p*nis !

Crying does get less frequent. I was wandering around London last Sat with friends, trying not to sob, but not had a bad day since. I think weekends are worse for me because that when we spent the most time together...

Quote:
People that havent been there just dont get it. I wouldnt have got it before this either.
So true. Since all of this has kicked off I've apologised to two of my friends who went through similar stuff some years back. I now realise I wasn't there for them as much as I could have been, now I know. They've both been great anyway.
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Old 21st April 2010, 05:05 PM   #65
luce
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

hahaha, i like the p*nis theme of this thread.

Had an up and down day again today. Had an anxiety attack while i was driving today and had to pull over into a layby. I was crying and couldnt breathe properly. What is all that about??? I am so much tougher than that. Had an anxiety attack at 3 weeks in - at 3 months in i thought i was well beyond that.

I was stuck in the layby not knowing what to do so i rang a very old friend (different one from above) and he talked me down. But being much more resourceful than i was a couple of months ago once i was calmer i decided to take day off work and pamper. I went to the gym and lifted some of my personal bests. Then went to an expensive hairdressers, then sunbed and then went to nail parlour and had my first ever false nails. They are lovely. They make a lovely clicking noise while i type! Tonight i am off to Salsa.

What a lot of money i do spend keeping myself ok through all of this, haha. I think it is whatever it takes though and i am considering it an investment in my future.
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Old 23rd April 2010, 07:10 AM   #66
luce
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

Ok, next time i start to cry a lot and use the C word very liberally i need someone to ask me if i am possibly PMT.

My cycles are all over the place at the moment and i dont recognise the pmt when i am in it.
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Old 3rd May 2010, 06:56 PM   #67
luce
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

This bank holiday weekend went nightclubbing until 4am and then shot off camping with new friends. Excellent. For first time since this happened i have been able to look back on the events of last few months without pain or any feeling much at all. It really is going to be okay.

This made me smile;
Your husband is limping around outside BLEEDING what do you do ..
stay calm take a second reload, aim, FIRE !
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Old 6th May 2010, 12:05 AM   #68
luce
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

Ex's are like Slinky's...useless and annoying...but they still make you smile when you push them down the stairs
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Old 6th May 2010, 03:54 AM   #69
j92cool
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

Your are quite right Luce Some people are like slinkys. That is one of my favorite sayings at the moment I have it pinned up on the notice board at work.

PS you are doing so well you should give yourself a pat on the back.
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Old 6th May 2010, 04:10 PM   #70
luce
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

Thank-you. I feel like i have woken up from a 16yr sleep and its great.
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Old 12th May 2010, 11:32 PM   #71
luce
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

Yuk. Today i am feeling yuk. I am so sick of putting on a brave face and smiling when all i want to do is cry like a baby and be held. I am carving new life, surrounded by new people, and that is great. Well f*cking done me.

But at same time it is lonely. Its not the time to be outwardly in pain when with new people - it is the time to hold court, smile, be utterly charming and witty. Having been hidden away in my marriage for so long i had forgotten how well i can do this - i really am good at it. When i am my charming best people like me, they really do.

That is encouraging but it is lonely. I want people to know how much i struggle to put one foot in front of another, how i feel overwhelmed by something as small as cleaning my home. I want them to know that this is the hardest thing i have ever lived through and that i still cry most days. But i show them something different. And i think it is right that i do - it takes time to build new friends and you have to play nicely to start with. But it is hard, really blooming hard.

Thank f*ck for this forum!
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Old 12th May 2010, 11:57 PM   #72
UpandDown
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

Hi Luce

Haven't seen you here for a while. Sounds like you're doing amazing. I don't know how you are managing to be with new people. The only person I have met up with new is Wiggle and that's only because she's on here. I've shied away from any situation with strangers involved...the effort is just too huge. I'm full of respect.

It's a lonely old road we're travelling I have to say. It's funny how you can be ok one day then back in a dark pit the next. When are we meeting up to drink and swear by the way...or did I miss it?!!

Love Kathryn
x
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Old 13th May 2010, 11:26 AM   #73
luce
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

Hi Kathryn,
Thanks for simply 'getting it'.

I have really had to go out and meet new people. I work from home and most of my old friends are spread around the country. Apart from my 17yr old son i dont have any family either. So it was literally sit at home and enter a black hole or get out there. Meeting new people has been very good for me too and i have done lots of different things. I am changing and growing so much. It is just so different to meeting new people when we are very young. Friendships are built much more slowly and with far more caution.

How nice that you and Wiggle have met through this forum. The gifts that come out from the nonsense! I have just discovered that one of the ladies here is only around 40miles from me so we are going to meet up early in June so looking forward to that.

As for the main meet - i have not heard anything - i think JWD and Raycub will be sorting it out. Fingers crossed that it doesnt clash with Isle of Wight Bestival.

Hugs to you my dear. xxxxx

ps., you are right about how strange it is that you can be alright one day and in black pit the next. I have to own that some of my pits are alcohol related too. I wasnt much of a dinker before this happened and it certainly doesnt help the situation.
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Old 13th May 2010, 12:35 PM   #74
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Re: How are we all doing over this holiday period?

Hey ladies,

We're hoping for the first two weeks of September. Gives us something to look forward to...I SERIOUSLY need this meeting. You guys have all played such an important part in my healing, I need to connect personally with as many of you as I can and hug the hell out of you!!!

Had a little break-through the other night: the ex-boyfriend called when I was out and when I saw his name on my phone, I didn't break down at all. No crying, no shaking, no remembering...baby steps.

I'm going to post on my own thread instead of hi-jacking this one...

Love to you all!
Ray
xx
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