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Old 3rd February 2007, 10:53 AM   #1
Raymond
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Sex for the over 60's

Hi I am now over sixty and my wife just under. I expected the sexual side of marriage to wane a bit which it has, but mentally I am still as fascinated with the subject as I ever was.

Does anyone have any tips as to the how of keeping things alive? I don't always reach full erection and my wife doesn't like deep penetration now, but she still has O even though I'm only doing things on the surface or just in.

Someone has suggested that I try oral sex as a thing one can keep up in one's senior years. I have always thought this was wrong, but it's beginning to make better sense as one gets older.

I'd be interested in people views on this as I don't want to lose the physical intimacy that we have enjoyed all these years.
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Old 5th February 2007, 09:12 AM   #2
helenrw200
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

Raymond

Why have you always thought oral sex is wrong ? Oral sex is an enjoyable way of maintaining a sexual relationship when for one reason or another penetrative sex is no longer an option ( and even when it is ), it will certainly give pleasure to you both and ensure you don't lose the sexual intimacy you've enjoyed all these years.

Helen
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Old 5th February 2007, 11:30 AM   #3
Raymond
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

Thank you for your interest Helen.

I think the real reason was on hearing a sermon by a Bill Subritsky, a New Zealander. He was/is a man used by God in powerful ways particularly on the word of knowledge and healing etc.

He said he was in a meeting once and saw in the Spirit a phallus in front of a woman's face. On questioning her it transpired that she was being forced to do oral sex on her husband. He prayed against the whole thing. Later he said the mouth and the anus were not designed to receive in that way. God had designed another place.

Sorry to be so crude but that has always stuck with me all these years.

I know that oral sex is prolific in these days, but I'm not sure that makes it right.

Raymond
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Old 5th February 2007, 01:29 PM   #4
helenrw200
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

Hi Raymond

I can see from your posts that you are a good Christian, I have to confess that I'm not religious, but I do understand your point of view. However I think a happy and fulfilled marriage is surely the most important thing and concentual oral sex is very different to what you described above.

If both you and your wife are happy to do it, and both enjoy the experience then I really don't think God would object . If you look at it that way, sex is supposed to be for procreation so there would be no need to have sex once a woman is past child bearing age, but in my view sex maintains intimacy and keeps a couple close it is not purely for producing children. It brings comfort and expresses love.

Whatever you decide I hope that you continue to have a happy and fullfilled marriage.

Helen
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Old 5th February 2007, 02:51 PM   #5
Raymond
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

Thank you Helen. Yes, I agree sex is not just for having children but for intimacy with one's wife.

I have actually written to Bill Subritski now to see if I heard him right.

The bible doesn't say anything about it, so maybe I will end up doing it.

Raymond
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Old 5th February 2007, 05:51 PM   #6
Liz
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

Dear Raymond

Your original post was very much about adapting to chamges in your sex life. I just wondered whether you had read Tim le Haye's book The Act of Marriage after 40. It is written for Christians and does also consider the issue of oral sex.

I hope that you can find information that is helpful. A couple's physical relationship as husband and wife is still very important even as we get older, but there are challenges aren't there.

Best wishes

Liz
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Old 8th February 2007, 07:38 PM   #7
Raymond
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

Thank you Liz. I have actually read that book. I found it went on a lot about breast screening, prostrate cancer and things like so that it put me off a bit, too medical. I find married sex glamorous (not that I'm not tempted mentally sometimes to dwell on things I shouldn't) and reading about medical things can kill it a bit. One can always read a medical type book if need be. The first book was full of expectancy for me as I was getting married.

The book I have at the moment is "Clean Sheets" which is very good I think. I think the important thing is to keep the intimacy going even if things are lessening a bit, that's why I raised the question of OS as just another way to be intimate maybe in later life, I don't know.

Raymond

Last edited by Raymond; 8th February 2007 at 07:45 PM.
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Old 13th February 2007, 09:29 PM   #8
Raymond
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

I have now decided against oral sex. I got a personal mail from Bill Subritzski of Dove Ministries in New Zealand and what he said convinced me it was wrong even in marriage. A double whammy. This was also backed up by Jill Southern in her book Sex....God's Truth which I recently purchased. So that settles it for me as I have the highest respect for them both as servants of God. Jill runs Pierrepoint one of the centres of Ellel Ministries in Surrey. Ellel major on teaching and healing/deliverance.

Raymond
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Old 26th February 2007, 01:07 PM   #9
marriedbrunette30
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

I'm not that religious either,but I come from a christian family. I was always told there is some passage that says,"Anything a husband and wife do in the bedroom is fine in the eyes of GOD".
I'm sorry if this is not correct,but it's what i was told.
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Old 26th February 2007, 09:57 PM   #10
Raymond
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

How did you get here married brunette? I thought this thread was dead.

I know what you are saying, but the place I am at now is that it is not helpful for me after what I heard. Unless you are a christian you may not understand, but I believe God can speak to us. I can't explain how to you. My wife was a bit relieved actually, so it's worked out right. I never got into it so it's no big sacrifice. I was into another thing that a lot of people thought wrong and I am dealing with the roots of this, so I am not perfect. I have been damaged in childhood but am continually being repaired.

I believe with all my heart that sex is God's gift in marriage and taking out a wrong thing can increase pleasure not lessen it. I got this from two sources as explained previously and I don't think it was co-incidence.

One can only live up to the light they have which you should do, so please do not get into bondage over it. You will know when something is not right. As we grow and mature we begin to see things in us which are not right but which previously we thought nothing of. This is part of growth in Christ and covers all of our life not just the bedroom.

So enjoy everything in the bedroom MW. Keep in freedom. Marriage is a celebration of sex. If something is not right for you you will know it.

God bless you

Raymond

ps About that verse. It says the marriage bed is holy and undefiled. It's basically saying that sex itself is pure and not dirty within marriage. You still have to use your judgment though. For instance I think anal sex is repugnant and unsavoury personally speaking. Sorry to be blunt, but it illustrates my point.

Last edited by Raymond; 26th February 2007 at 10:03 PM.
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Old 27th February 2007, 01:08 AM   #11
marriedbrunette30
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

It's ok for being blunt,I totally agree with the anal sex thing. I dont think the body was meant for it and that it is un-natural.

Kudos on pointing out that we notice things about ourselves as we get older.I have had this exprience myself. Things I didnt think were wrong either that now I have a different feeling on.
i also was 'damaged" in childhood and have had alot of work to do to get where I'am now...so i know how you feel on that angle.

I hope you and your wife find something that works for you to keep you getting closer! Best of luck.
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Old 28th February 2007, 09:23 PM   #12
Raymond
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

Thank you mb

Raymond
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Old 28th February 2007, 10:59 PM   #13
katyb
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

hi raymond,
I just thought i would send you a quick reply re oral sex.

My husband and I are chrisitans and my husband was brought up a christian and i questioned him on this and he said there is no mention of it in the bible and sex between a man and a wife is a beautiful thing in gods eyes.

As there is no mention in the bible against oral sex any man who is saying it is against god is surely only giving you his opinion.

I personally go on gods word and not that of a mans interpretation.
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Old 1st March 2007, 09:33 PM   #14
Raymond
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

As a christian Katy I would go on God's word as well. However, we are not under a law as such and there are plenty of decisions in life not covered by a specific scripture. Paul say all things are lawful but not all things are beneficial. In other words we have a conscience and God's Spirit which will lead us into all truth if we want it. We are expected to judge things to see if there is any profit in them. We are not robots.

I made a decision based on information outlined by two christians that I know and respect outlined above. Based on what I heard (and I cannot go into it all on this site) I made a decision on in faith.

There are umpteen sexual practices that go on which are not mentioned in the bible, but that doesn't mean we can't judge what is good and right for us within marriage.

Concerning oral sex there were physical and spiritual outcomes mentioned by Bill Subritzsky and Jill Southern. I heard enough and am convinced in myself. Remember I was contemplating starting this and have been completely turned around.

The oral sex I am talking about was as a substitute for intercourse by the man using the woman's mouth. I am not talking about kissing and things like that. I'm not talking about the man on the woman, but my wife doesn't want that anyway so it's no problem for me.

I'm sorry to be so blunt, but it is the only way I can get accross what I am talking about.

If you want to know the full story and background give me your e mail, that's if you are seriously interested on why I have made this decision.

Raymond
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Old 26th December 2007, 11:45 PM   #15
Alice Alice
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Re: Sex for the over 60's

how about flirting with your wife through out the days before the time is right...
keep things the way you used to have in your eirlier years.... if its not broke don't fix it

FLIRT FLIRT AND FLIRT your way into the bedroom
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