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Old 29th March 2015, 08:08 PM   #1
cherrybomb
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 18
Question does my husband still love me

Hi guys
Here goes ...iv been with my partner for 14 years me got together in school and went on to have to gawjus children very earlie in the relationship I wont go into to much details but during this time there were accusations that he had cheated ..he lied to me he was generally just mean staying out all night ect ect u get the picture ..until one day I snapped...from then on its always been my way !! Iv felt so lost and hurt but I couldn't leave I just couldn't ...i found myself having an EA over the internet ..my husband found out about it and it hurt him so much .but then hebwent on to have a text relationship with a girl he used to go to school with ....thing is it was a way ov venting my frustration and generally company now I haven't got that I'm finding that I losing the plot in my own company ..husbands never home working or when he is hes computor orientated ..iv tryed so hard to get him to understand that he just ignores me ..altho we have sex twice a week that's the only real contact we make ..I have panick attacks thinking he is cheating ..as he makes comment like he remembers to delete his browsing history and I didn't !! Iv found hes watching porn when I'm not home ..i think iv destroyed us ...whats ur opinion people am I fighting a losing battle ..hes my childhood sweetheart ..and 14 yrs of my life :\
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Old 30th March 2015, 04:25 AM   #2
chosen
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Re: does my husband still love me

I would think that some good marriage counselling is needed here. IT seems that you got together at a very young age, maybe far too early, and you need some outside help.
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Old 30th March 2015, 02:39 PM   #3
cherrybomb
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Re: does my husband still love me

Thanks chosen ..what would you do ..right now I'm ready to just walk way from everything I know ...i have porn on his mobile last night ..im so hurt
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Old 30th March 2015, 07:17 PM   #4
Raymond
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Re: does my husband still love me

Did he actually sleep with someone else in the first place Cherrybomb?

It seems to me one thing led to another. He cheated then you tried to get back at him?

Also the pornography is a kind of mental adultery in my eyes.

Without faithfulness from both of you these things do not work out.

If he did sleep with another then the relationship is going nowhere until he repents of that and puts it right with you. This will leave the problem of the pornography which again is a kind of unfaithfulness. If he is not willing to work on giving this up then I don't see much hope.

I expect your trust in him has been a bit shattered to say the least. If he is not willing to work on this then I think you have a choice of whether to leave him or not.
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Old 30th March 2015, 10:11 PM   #5
cherrybomb
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Re: does my husband still love me

I carnt be cerrin that's the case because obviously he would not admit it ..he says he knows he done me wrong but he was young ..I did belive at one point he actually meant it but then I messed things up ..theres no trust on my behalf he doesn't seem to bothered ..how do I start to rebuild a life on my own ..the very thought scared me ..he says he wont watch porn again but how would I know now he's going to be extra careful ..for me it wasent about sex it was nearly company and attention and was only via message exchange ..I know that's all kind of wrong and I'm hung uo with guilt which doesn't help then paranoid state ...need some thinking time
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Old 31st March 2015, 05:32 PM   #6
Raymond
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Re: does my husband still love me

At least you have some kind of sorry from him. I don't know how sincere it is as a real sorry would bear fruit and show in his relationship with you. That you had an EA as well doesn't help but you have to start from where you are.

It will take both of you to mend things and for a new start to happen. The past has to be dealt with with both of you expressing a sincere sorry for what you both did without blaming the other for it. I think this is the current thing to work on.

After that the mitigating circumstances will need to be addressed such as his lack of attention and whatever things he comes up with but playing the blame game will not produce any fruit.

Do you think he would be willing to work with you on that? Basically all unfaithfulness and porn needs to be swept out of the way with the necessary repentance and apology for the other. Only then can you begin to build your marital type relationship and work on it.
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Old 20th April 2015, 06:33 PM   #7
cherrybomb
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Re: does my husband still love me

Thanks for all advice given ..we have sat and talked most issues out and are both willing to leave everything in the past and work at our marriage ...he knows I'm not happy with the lack of attention and is working real hard to prove he love for me ..I also need to work on the paranoid and my lack of tolerance in our marriage x
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