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18th August 2015, 09:05 PM
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#151
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon
No, I don't do that with her, I haven't done that anywhere but here because no one seems to give a rat's ass. You all claim to be in similar situations, but if that were the case, you'd think someone would want to help me out. I don't want to have my hand held while I browse the internet day and night to try to figure things out, I want answers!
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You want someone to come along and say 'do this' and it be fixed. That isnt going to happen. Life isnt like that I am afraid.
Until you wife understands how desperate you are I sadly doubt she will do anything to help the situation. Its sad she refuses to get properly tested re the miscarriages, and its also sad that she wont go with you to have some marriage counselling or even go on her own to get help with the grief and subsequent aversion to sexual contact.
These things would all help and they were good advise, but you cant force her. I hope that when she sees that the marriage is at risk and that you are desperate, she will act and go and get help.
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18th August 2015, 09:06 PM
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#152
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Guest
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
She hasn't seen that I'm desperate yet and it's been months.
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18th August 2015, 09:06 PM
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#153
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon
I'm not being welcomed. I wasn't even welcomed from the start.
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Post number 1 was his initial post, then post number 2 was my reply to him as follows, most unwelcoming as you can see:
"I am so sorry that you find yourself here mate, I am no expert on this sort of thing as my wife and I never had issues like this but I am certain that your problem is not terminal and hopefully between you that you will sort this out between you, good luck keep posting somebody with better advice than I will be along with good advice ASAP I'm sure."
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18th August 2015, 09:06 PM
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#154
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon
Because it's not helping. It's not what I'm looking for.
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you are looking for a quick fix, an instant solution, but it isnt going to happen.
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18th August 2015, 09:08 PM
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#155
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Guest
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
The first thing you said was "not another sad story."
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18th August 2015, 09:09 PM
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#156
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Guest
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
That's what I came for, Chosen, but I certainly wish I knew that beforehand.
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18th August 2015, 09:09 PM
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#157
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon
She has not gone further with the rest, we've checked things like her thyroid and weight, it's all normal. And she doesn't want to share a bed because it'll lead to sex as well.
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will it? If you promise that sex wont lead to intercourse wont she believe you? is she deliberately not believing you because she doesnt want any sexual contact at all?
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18th August 2015, 09:10 PM
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#158
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Guest
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Pretty much, yes. I wouldn't let it, but she's fully set herself up to believe anything remotely sexual is going to lead to sex.
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18th August 2015, 09:14 PM
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#159
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon
Well look at how I've been treated here. Tell me you think everyone is being nice and fair and helpful.
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we are trying to be but your attitude has been pretty difficult. I can see that you are frustrated and desperate, but again I do feel that you need to make it clear to her that you feel desperate and unloved and you dont know how much longer you can go on this way. I think I suggested before that you write this all down in a letter and give it to her. Sometimes people dont act until they think they may loose everything. Open your heart and be honest with her. Tell her the things that you want to happen in the marriage to help strengthen it, and see what she says.
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18th August 2015, 09:17 PM
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#160
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon
Of course you're going to say that, you'll all take up for each other but not someone who hasn't been here long.
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thats so untrue. We always welcome everyone and try and help them even if they may be difficult. I would suggest that you read back over the advise and talk to your wife and be honest about where you are with this.
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18th August 2015, 09:17 PM
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#161
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon
The first thing you said was "not another sad story."
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Grow up you big baby, I said that because I genuinely hate to hear any marriages in trouble because to me marriage is sacred and your story is a sad story but b-lls to you I'm not justifying myself to you, is this bloke for real ?, how did he ever attract a wife in the first place ?, did he get married in a bib, romper suit, and nappy with his comfort blanket and teddy bear under his arm ?, have you considered that perhaps your wife sees you as a big sulky child as you are constantly portraying yourself on here ?.
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18th August 2015, 09:18 PM
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#162
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon
I'm not being welcomed. I wasn't even welcomed from the start.
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Again completely untrue. Have you even thought that its your attitude that is unfriendly and rude, and therefore causes others to react with shock and surprise?
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18th August 2015, 09:18 PM
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#163
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Guest
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
My attitude did not start directly, nor did I ever feel welcomed with open arms. The advice is always the same, and it's not helpful to me. I've tried to say that, but no one gets it.
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18th August 2015, 09:20 PM
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#164
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Guest
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
I know I got rude, but this is more than "shock and surprise." I came here out of desperation, and I'm still desperate, but I'm feeling anger, upset, and hopeless as well now.
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18th August 2015, 09:21 PM
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#165
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon
She hasn't seen that I'm desperate yet and it's been months.
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why havent you told her how unhappy you are and how desperate you are? She wont know unless you tell her, you have to be honest and open with her about all of this. it seems that she says something and you just accept it without telling her how you feel and what you want.
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