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Old 13th May 2012, 10:02 PM   #1
peaofsweetness
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Join Date: May 2012
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Prenuptial agreement

I would really welcome some advice.

My fiance (who is a wealthy man (worth 17 million), has said he will not marry me on our planned date this year, unless we have a prenuptial agreement which of course I understand as he wishes to protect his assets.

I was surprised to read that if the marriage lasts more than a year, he will give me an allowance of 25,000 for two years and a lump sum of 150,000 (to buy myself a flat - he obviously doesn't know the value of property on the South Coast). Of course this would be more than generous if the marriage only lasted a couple of years. However, if he decided to walk out after say 5 or 10 years, surely this would not be fair? After all, I have given up my successful career to fit in with his life(at his request), will have sold my home and its contents, etc etc and will have come to enjoy a certain lifestyle and of course, will have contributed to the marriage etc etc.

He has stipulated that there should be no review of this agreement at any time and that the marital home should not be split.

I would be grateful for people's thoughts ....................... must admit I'm feeling somewhat unloved ......................... and have absolutely no idea how to react .....................
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Old 16th May 2012, 05:07 PM   #2
Raymond
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Re: Prenuptial agreement

It's like he is almost planning for failure. We both own everything I have in my marriage. Anything less than that would bring in doubt. Granted I do not have 17M but if I did I still think that is the way it should be and what I would do. That's the nature of marriage as far as I am concerned. I think you either give your heart or you don't.
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Old 20th May 2012, 09:24 PM   #3
Forever
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Re: Prenuptial agreement

Interesting...so if he ups and suddenly dies during the course of the marriage, say 20 years from now, who would his estate go to?

What is the value of your home and all the contents now...and what is it likely to be worth if you held onto it for the next 30 or 40 years? What is the annual value of your career now, and with promotions, what would the value be if you kept it rather than quit to service his desires over the next 30 to 40 years?

Added up, I do not think his offer is fair or equitable...financially speaking. Perhaps he will have a change of heart once he feels your marriage is "secure"...but then again, maybe not.

I also do not think you could ever feel really relaxed...sort of like auditioning to keep the marriage long enough at least to net something financially out of it should it fail. What if he turns out to be an immoral man and YOU are the one who wants out? Can you get your career back as well as your home?

He is not talking love here, he is talking business...and he is indicating that he has less confidence in the love he has for you (or vice versa) than he does in his empire.

BTW, his estate, legally will not be divided up 50/50 anyway in the event of a divorce. What is his before marriage only becomes yours in terms of percentage calculated by how many marital years go by.

Last edited by Forever; 21st May 2012 at 04:21 AM.
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Old 21st May 2012, 12:01 AM   #4
chosen
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Re: Prenuptial agreement

I dont agree with prenups in any way shape or form. A prenup is already preparing for divorce. When you marry, all of what either of you own should become both of yours. If he isnt prepared to let that happen, then why is he getting married? If a man told me he wanted a prenup there would be no marriage, full stop.
Also why is he only now saying this? Could he be being pressured by someone? Maybe family?
The marriage ceremony has these words "with all my worldly wealth I thee endow".
If he is already afraid of loosing some of his money before you even marry, what does that say? Also he is being very controling by saying that the marriage will not happen unless you agree. Is there no room for negotiation? Different amounts if the marriage lasts 10 years or more? If not why not?
Its all so cold and clinical isnt it, but it does prove that for rich people, money if their no 1 priority.

If you are still happy to marry him despite this, then get good legal advice. Show this to a solicitor. The terms sound pretty awful to me. I mean 150,000 for you and 17 million for him? According to my calculations that is 1/113th. Also what happened to the value of your home? What will happen if you have children?
I would think long and hard about this marriage.

Last edited by chosen; 21st May 2012 at 12:09 AM.
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Old 21st May 2012, 12:54 AM   #5
Forever
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Re: Prenuptial agreement

My ex asked me to sign a pre-nup before we married. I flat told him to go fly a kite. He married me anyway...w/o a pre-nup. He was the one with all the wealth. Sadly, we did end in divorce...but now, my new husband and I are the ones helping him to keep financially stable since the economy turned very bad in his profession. We do not want to see him lose his house. We do this willingly without paperwork even though I am re-married...and there was never any written agreement. So he is now being blessed simply because he married me anyway w/o the pre-nup.
None of us have a crystal ball. If he had insisted that I sign it, I assure you that he would now be living by the same stoke of the pen that he would have assigned to me.

Sounds like they are an older couple with alot more to lose as a result of entering into marriage than those first starting off.

I think she should go ahead and sign it if she really wants to be married to him...BUT she should insist on keeping her career as well as her home. They can then re-visit that sad state of affairs if he decides he is unhappy with that arrangement at a later date. They can always renegotiate terms that are more fair and equitable if the relationship is doing far better than he otherwise would have hoped for and his fears are put to rest. Sheeesh!

Last edited by Forever; 21st May 2012 at 04:15 AM.
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Old 21st May 2012, 07:31 AM   #6
chosen
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Re: Prenuptial agreement

I would be interested to know how many marriages that have a prenup last, as compared to marriages where there isnt one. After all, you are going into that marriage preparing for what happens when/if you divorce, instead of going in saying that you will be faithful, committed and that it is for life. Also you are dictating terms, you are being selfish(I will have all the money and you will have a tiny bit),and you are not going into that marriage prepared to share all that you have.
AS you say though forever, money comes and money goes just as easily.

In the UK, prenups can be overtured anyway in court, because the criteria for divorce settlements are very different from some prenups, so in a sense they are worthless anyway.

My solicitor suggested a prenup to me when I remarried. NOOOOOOOOO thanks I said. Thats not what I am about.
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