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Old 25th May 2013, 08:22 PM   #1
anna
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Mixed Signals

Hi everyone!

I need some help with a relationship of mine. I've know this guy for almost 3.5 yrs now and we have been friends. Not the closest of friends but we do get in touch every once in a while. My friends as well as his friends tell me that he likes me and we would make a great couple. I also like him but I'm not so sure how he feels. For one he has never told his friends that he is interested in me...they just say that because of the way he acts around me. I remember before we got to know each other he would always disappear for a while when he would see me and then show up again after sometime. He is nice to me but he seems to be the same with other girls that I know (probably even more friendly to them than to me). He sometimes communicates with me a lot and even passes compliments but then there are phases where he goes quiet. When we talk he usually keeps it short so I've not really had a chance to 'bond' much. He often talks to me about finding a wife jokingly. I can't seem to figure him out . Is he interested in me as more than just a friend, am I just one of the options he has or does he look at me as just a friend? Should I keep our relationship in the friend zone or should I pursue it further?

P.S: Please don't tell me to ask him directly whether he likes me. I don't have the courage to do that and in case he doesn't see me in that way I would hate to make our friendship weird in addition to going through the embarrassment
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Old 26th May 2013, 09:41 AM   #2
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,389
Re: Mixed Signals

There is always an unknown area in these kinds of things. If he does like you then it is really up to him to be a little bit vulnerable about it and be a little forward. I found out that my wife was in love with me for two years. I found out from the pastor in the church (with her permission) as she went to his wife with the problem and couldn't eat properly about it. I didn't have a clue. Every situation is different of course, but there is a place for you to be a little vulnerable as well, even though you risk humility. Women do it in a different way of course but it can still be effective in encouraging him to do what's in his heart. That's if it is in his heart. If it isn't you might be able to save yourself a lot of timewasting by testing the waters and risking a little.
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Old 26th May 2013, 08:25 PM   #3
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,767
Re: Mixed Signals

If I was interested in a guy, I would somehow make sure he knew it. I would also expect him to do the same with me. One of you has to do something, or you could still be in this position in 5 years time!!! If you REALLY cant say anything, can you ask one of his friends what they think? Maybe you need a 'go-between' to start you off.
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Old 6th July 2013, 07:10 AM   #4
kaiyara
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1
Re: Mixed Signals

No would advice not to ask him directly... yes it will be very weird .... ask your friend to do that whether he likes you or not... or wait for his proposal ..
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Old 20th November 2013, 09:38 PM   #5
LibraLady
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 89
Re: Mixed Signals

Well, unless or until he makes a move, then you should keep it moving along. Men enjoy the chase, so you chasing him is NOT the way to go. If you found another guy, then it will be your friends loss.
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