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Old 28th March 2010, 11:16 PM   #1
walters2610
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Lightbulb needing advice

i am 19, female and come from a christian back ground. i met my boyfriend 2 years ago at school, he is 20 and from muslim background, although he is not a practicing muslim. i am aware that there are generally issues with muslim christian marriage, and i know tht his mum would love me to convert. he has said to me that it would be perfect for us to marry... on the grounds that i convert. I feel that it would be disrepectful to do so considering i come from a christian background, my mums family are practicing however she isnt and my dad isnt religious at all so i havent chosen to practice. i would love to marry my boyfriend however i was wandering if there is anyway i can do this easily and without offending anyone. i am open minded and happy to learn about islam but i dont know if i can commit to practice the religion. i know the main issue is when it comes to children, i am happy for them to be brought us as muslim as my boyfriends family are more religious than my own and he is very passionate about teaching his children about islam. i am happy to each halal meat and not drink to show my respect but i dont know what to do. i dont want to offend his mum, but on the same hand i want to be happy and i dont know how my family would take this decision.
i need to sit down with both families and discuss this but i dont want to loose my boyfriend!!! help will be gratefully recieved
many thanks
Emma
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Old 28th March 2010, 11:27 PM   #2
luce
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 305
Re: needing advice

Hi Emma,
I know its not going to be what you want to hear but my advice would be to do nothing. Keep your boyfriend as your boyfriend for a year or two longer before considering the marriage question. That will also give you more time to consider the whole conversion issue.
Best Regards
Luce.
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Old 29th March 2010, 08:22 AM   #3
UpandDown
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 293
Re: needing advice

I agree with Luce. Keep an open mind and keep thinking.
Good luck
x
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Old 29th March 2010, 09:34 AM   #4
lavene53
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 21
Re: needing advice

Hi Emma!

I see that this is a very deep and thoughtful situation for you and I would not like you to go through it alone and in fact I know that Gods with you and knows the answer to our questions even if you dont fully believe in him.

The thing is issues around religion dont get less strenuous once married and this has to be considered. Between the two religions there is no sitting on the fence you see.

In marriage you will need your family. If your heart is with your family then ask them (or at least one member you trust) to pray for you, i should think they love you and i don't believe they would turn away that request as practicing Christians. If you dont want to tell them exactly what the situation is then you dont have to but their prayers will prepare the ground for you and help you in your decision making. It will also prepare them for what ever decision you make.

Please believe that prayers directed at the God of Jesus work. Practicing or not God prepares the ground for you especially if go to him for help. And whether you believe in him or not He's got your back, loves you more than anyone on earth can and waits for you.

There is no ease in the decision you are going to have to make but stay strong and dont let ultimatums persuade you.
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Old 29th March 2010, 05:34 PM   #5
Raymond
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Re: needing advice

Lavene speaks good sense Walters. Read the threads on here about Christian/Muslim marriage problems on Coffee Shop Chat. You need to use your head here as well as your heart as this is a lifelong decision.

Luce is right. Give it plenty of time. Talk to the grandparents who are christian and find out about everything about the Islamic religion. Not just from Islamics but from christians as well. It will definitely affect your future and your children's future. You need to be really informed here and not go in blind. I can't really emphasise that enough.

Raymond
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Old 2nd April 2010, 10:37 PM   #6
walters2610
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Re: needing advice

thank u every1 for all your help and support, i do feel waiting is my best option!! i have just started a new job as an airhostess and so being busy at work means the time we spend together is great because we appreciate it more!! i really do think he is 'the 1' so fingers crossed and watch this space!!!
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Old 3rd April 2010, 10:59 AM   #7
Raymond
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Re: needing advice

While you are waiting find out about the religion Walters as it will affect your future and your children's future.

Raymond
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