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Old 18th December 2014, 11:13 AM   #1
ralfgarnett
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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She turned my NC back on to me now what ?

Ok so I went NC with her for 2 weeks and it is 3 weeks now since i last saw her, i was hoping it would smoke her out a bit but last night i spoke to her on a fabricated reason, and she now thinks that having no contact with each other for ex amount of time is the best way for us to move on and eventually become friends, i didn't want this i thought it might bring us closer, i miss her like mad and was hoping to see her over the christmas break as i wont be seeing many people and i need as much company as i can get, any advice on how to turn this round again so that i am back in charge or at least on an even footing ?, i know i sound pathetic and weak and that's because i am right now, i am lonely, lost, sad and scared and dreading the holidays on my own.
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Old 18th December 2014, 03:27 PM   #2
chosen
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Re: She turned my NC back on to me now what ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
Ok so I went NC with her for 2 weeks and it is 3 weeks now since i last saw her, i was hoping it would smoke her out a bit but last night i spoke to her on a fabricated reason, and she now thinks that having no contact with each other for ex amount of time is the best way for us to move on and eventually become friends, i didn't want this i thought it might bring us closer, i miss her like mad and was hoping to see her over the christmas break as i wont be seeing many people and i need as much company as i can get, any advice on how to turn this round again so that i am back in charge or at least on an even footing ?, i know i sound pathetic and weak and that's because i am right now, i am lonely, lost, sad and scared and dreading the holidays on my own.

Just carry on with it ralf, its the only way for you to accept what has happened and move on. I think she is crazy to think that you can ever just be friends, but thats for her to discover. Anyway its early days and she may still change her mind, but you can count on that.
As for Christmas, have you thought of volunteering for a charity that works on the day giving out meals to the poor/lonely/elderly or something similar? I know people who have done that and they thoroughly enjoyed it. If not, accept every invitation you have, and if you are lonely get out to the cinema or something.
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Old 18th December 2014, 03:52 PM   #3
ralfgarnett
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Re: She turned my NC back on to me now what ?

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Originally Posted by chosen View Post
Just carry on with it ralf, its the only way for you to accept what has happened and move on. I think she is crazy to think that you can ever just be friends, but thats for her to discover. Anyway its early days and she may still change her mind, but you can count on that.
As for Christmas, have you thought of volunteering for a charity that works on the day giving out meals to the poor/lonely/elderly or something similar? I know people who have done that and they thoroughly enjoyed it. If not, accept every invitation you have, and if you are lonely get out to the cinema or something.
Hi Chosen yes I thought about volunteering, I tried a few local organisations but I was told that because im not CRB checked that they couldn't use my services and couldn't promise to get it through in time either, I just feel my mood dipping quite badly I don't really know why, I think maybe inside I thought that Christmas might soften her heart and we could have a nice xmas reunion, but of course I am romanticising everything and its not going to happen unless of course we have a miracle, how can they be so cruel and act so out of character ?, I have done nothing wrong why am I being punished like this ?.
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Old 18th December 2014, 04:12 PM   #4
ronnoco
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Re: She turned my NC back on to me now what ?

I did nothing wrong too. I thought the same as you. How could my wife leave me and break up our family of 3 very young children? Sometimes people change and sometimes, s!*t just happens. There are no answers, you just have to let it be.

I think you have to accept that it's over and start moving on. For whatever reason, she clearly doesn't want to come back. She has free will, it's been half a year, nothings changed and it doesn't seem like it's going to. There is no more you can do but help yourself.

It's only really Christmas day you need to get through then think New Year, new start, new Ralf - that's your only way forward. You'll either sink or swim. You probably feel like sinking but if you don't, you'll look back one day and be glad you made the right choice. Frequent your local pub, enjoy some pub grub, make new friends, start that plan of action we talked about and you'll be alright my old chum.
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