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Old 4th May 2006, 04:55 PM   #1
helenrw200
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today

I went to see a new counsellor today and again had to tell my whole story from start to finish ( well as best I could in the allotted 50 minutes ), afterwards she said to me I seemed very flat and emotionless and told the whole thing as if it had happened to someone else, I said it's a coping mechanism, if I stopped and thought too much about it,I'd either go mad or kill myself.She asked did I ever cry, I do but always when alone, I was brought up to see crying as a sign of weakness.

I've been feeling really low since I came home, it's stirred everything up again, and try as I might I can't forget some of the things that have happened.

It's probably going to get a whole lot worse before it gets any better... if it does, and I feel I have no support, my partner never even asked how it went and it seemed as though he couldn't wait to go to work !

It was my decision to stop the A/D's as I felt they hadn't helped after 10 years and it was time to get to the root cause of my depression, I think it's going to be a long journey.

Looks as tho my partner is going to be no use at all, so will be struggling on alone as usual, I will get there , I'm determined.


Helen
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