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Old 6th October 2011, 12:47 PM   #16
Itsasecret
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

sorry, I said I wouldnt post here again but wanted to leave one last message on this particular thread as its a matter of great interest to me.

Regarding christians being free to do whatever they want, thats a matter of great confusion to me. So there is nothing that is not allowed in christianity? The ten commandments are no longer valud? all of the rules from the old testament are now allowed.

If Jesus was god, why would he say he didnt come to change the laws and then inspire an apostle to change the laws. This doesnt make sense at all to me.

Also why would adultery and leaving your family and so on and so forth not be allowed?

Also, easter and christmas are originally pagan. This mean magic and idol worship. I dont see it as God being a kill joy by displeased with adopting customs of pagans and even capitalists such as cocoa cola.

You guys wonder why the western world has lost their way and no longer follows christianity. What do you expect when even the birth and death of jesus is a chance to raise revenue.

If God gives you a religion, with a set of beliefs and practices, you believe you are free to add and alter it in which ever way you feel like? Its very clear to me that you are falling the ways of your forefathers and defending them without being willing to consider they might be wrong.

People celebrate pagan festivas while little concern is given to lent. You cohsnder yourselves exempt from all laws.

If I was to ever follow christianity, I woudl follow it in its true sense, not some made up religion that people add and change with no concern for what the sciprute says. And then you compare changing your religion with developing cars and technology.

Thats obviously totally different, those things are not related to religion, you are making up new aspects of religion, so you are saying that Jesus and the bible are in need of spicing up a bit. Is your religion not worth more than that to you?

If I ever saw a church who shared my thinking, perhaps I would join, but i will never join a church who just makes up religion as they go along. Also I will not confess my sins to a human being, who potentially is molesting children, why would he have any ability to forgive my sins? I will have my relationship with God. Places of worship are good for attaining nearness to God and having quiet time to gain nearness with the creator.

Why are they full of graven images? Did God decide he doesnt mind graven images too?

It seems to me that the christian world has gone badly astray and thats the reason for teh serious decline in christianity. the fault is not with the religion, its with the adherents.

Now you have my generation who is messed up beyond recognition as a result and perhaps our forefathers will share some responsibility for us as they have certainly contributed.

All I know is Jesus sat with prostitutes and leapors, his message was peace and love and forgiveness for mankind, when Jesus gets back, he will probabily prefer Muslims to Christians given how astray the christian world is today although I never realised there were people like abley who understand where Im coming from and dont want to follow and adulterated religion that has been tampered with almost beyond recognition. Abely im interested in which denomination you follow as i never heard a christian say this.

everyone, use your minds rather than just folllowing what everyone else is following, the current interpretations of christianity, are total nonsense and very far removed from Jesus's message, and that has been the case for centuries if we are honest, Crusades, Witch hunting, slavery, is this really what Jesus was preaching? How did the main christian institutions support these things? And now we're supposed to believe that in the 21st century, suddenly the institutions have been corrected and are now falling the original message again and are back on track? Look at the christian world. what a mess.

Either way, I wouldnt involve myself in this nonsense, I have my relationship with god, im a sinful and astray person and 20 years of the christian institutions never helped me except to send me further and further astray until i hit rock bottom so I will be doing my own soul searching I guess, perhaps i need to travel and see different religions and views and people and think about what will guide me to a state that I will feel comfortable in when I die and meet my creator. Certainly chocolate eggs and fake men in red clothes with fake beards who wish to gain money out of me will not help me spiritually in any way shape or form and if this is your christianity then keep it, im not interested.

You should all think long and hard about if the religion you are following is the religion jesus preached and if your understanding matches with the scripture.

Are miniskirts allowed? Where does it say so in the bible? Do you truely understand the bible? Are all the rules of the old testament null and void? So the old tesament cannot be quoted when discussing dos and donts. there must be a set of laws or I can do what I want with no punishment from god. What is clear is that there is no coherent structure to current christian thinking and most people just do whatever their local pastor says, rather than trying to directly connect to the bible and follow it in its true form
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Old 6th October 2011, 01:12 PM   #17
Raymond
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

You ask a lot of questions Itsasecret which isn't a bad thing.

The law is not null and void but Jesus brought in a new covenant whereby we can come to Him, become a new creation in our spirit and if we are faithful in living that out we fulfil the law from our heart and not by trying to keep the law in the legalistic sense. We are saved by grace (not through anything good we have done) through faith and not by works (keeping of the law).

Yes Jesus did mix with prostitutes and sinners and pointed out that they needed a physician (Him). He was there to help them, not to partake of their sin. Where people came to Him in repentance He forgave their sin (through His payment of their sin on the cross) and gave them power to live a new life by bringing forth a new creation in their spirit sometimes know as being born again. The same is going on today when people come to Him and ask Him into their lives.

He also gives His saved ones the power of the Holy Spirit (see Acts 2) which gives them power (if they use it) to be able to follow Christ daily.

The church is the people who have received Him not the building or even a denomination. The church is always people in the new testament.

I know you have had a deprived upbringing and are simply acting out the seeds which have gone into you as a child. You have the chance however to repent and hand your life to Jesus by saying a simple prayer, receiving His forgiveness and starting a new life. Not in your own strength but His.

Chocolate, Easter eggs, statues etc. is all irrelevant to this and are simply man's trappings. Forget all that stuff. It is not about that. It is about your relationship with Christ, whether you will receive Him personally or not.
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Old 6th October 2011, 03:19 PM   #18
chosen
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

My church has no graven images of any sort, not even a cross. we meet in a school gym! We follow the Bible and endeavour to live Gods way. We do this because we love Him and not because we have to obey a set of rules.The Christians that I know are lovely genuine people, and believe me, the church is not declining, it is growing world wide. Our church is full, and that is why we now have to meet in a larger room. We follow Jesus and we follow His teachings with His help.
No human being is perfect but the most genuine people that I have met are my christian friends. They love God and follow Him to the best of their ability.They are kind and genuine and real people.
However God isnt a killjoy, and he doesnt get angry just because we may gave our children a few Christmas presents or easter eggs. Its harmless enjoyment. God is a generous God, not a stingy one. I love to give gifts dont you? God loves to give us good things also. He longs to bless His children. We celebrate his resurrection at easter, and we remember his birth at Christmas. Most religions have special days or feast days or whatever it may be.

God longs for muslims and others of other faiths or none, to come to know Him, but He adores His children and loves to spend time with us. He longs for that close intimate relationship with each of us, as His children, and that is the most important thing. He gives us guidlines and instructions in the Bible for our own good, and to keep us safe. You have seen this in your own life where you have gone otuside His boundaries for no sex outside marriage and for complete faithfullness in marriage, and you know the mess this has got you into. You know what the consequenses may be. He gives us these instructions to save us from the messes that we would otherwise get into if we all went our own way.

Santa has nothing do to with God or Christianity. Christmas is relevant because it the day that we celebrate Jesus birth.

The question on miniskirts would come under Gods instructions for women to dress modestly and not to draw attention to yourself. Most women today do the opposite, but then Gods ways are the opposite of the worlds ways. When you are a believer, you do feel that you are swimmimg upsteam in todays world, but thats what God requires, and there is no better way to be and no better way to live.

By the way I was bought up in 'religious' churches as well which gave me a very distorted picture of God, but I went away from that very early on (age 11)and have now got to know God better and understand what He is really like, and go to far more relaxed and informal churches, where the people are genuine and their greatest desire is to please God and follow Jesus.
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Old 6th October 2011, 04:39 PM   #19
Forever
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

Itsasecret,
Christians are not free to do "whatever" they want. They are not free to sin...they are freed from sin...that is, they have the Holy Spirit inside their hearts and He guides them to change their ways in place of the Law.

Jesus fullfilled the Law for us because we did a crummy job of it ourselves throughout the Old Testament Covenant, none of us could be that perfect...but He was God in the flesh and therefore was able to do it for us. Then He died...and offered us His perfect "covering" for sin in exchange for our faith in Him, and though we do not "see" Him now...He lives in our hearts through His Holy Spirit...and is always working inside us to do His good pleasure. Jesus, the Lamb of God, who was punished for sin on our behalf...satisfied the Justice part of God for us. Now He offers Mercy.

Yet we still do stupid and even sinful things...I for one, do not do the easter eggs, santa clause, halloween and those things you mentioned...but I know alot of Christians that do because they are not worshiping those things...they believe it to be harmless fun, and perhaps God would have them focus on other more serious things of the heart rather than get tangled up in being legalistic about some petty rules of conduct or human traditions.

If you read the New Testament, you would have a better understanding and not be so confused...and by the way, there are plenty of those who fill the churches physically, but who have never really given their hearts and minds over to Christ. They hold on to some sin or idol or grudge, and think they have salvation "in the bag" by attending church or by spouting Christian words....we call them "wolves in sheeps clothing".

So back to you...you are feeling lost and sinful, and feel more "conneted" with those who are in the same boat. You do things that violate your mind and heart. Who is in your mind and heart that helps you to justify evil doing...and Who is working in your spirit to convict you of those wrongs? Who will you listen to? Who will you yield your life to?

God is calling you to a new life. A life you and I are not worthy to receive, but one that is given by His mercy and grace to those who will believe in Jesus. That is just the beginning. The rest follows when we repent of our known sin, and purpose to live a life that honors Him for what He has done for us.

But we still have to struggle with the old ways, the ways of the world, the ways of our flesh and the temptations of the devil dont we?

When you purpose to continue in adultry as you do, well, even a child who has no faith at all knows the wrong of it dont they? But you are an adult, and are using your past and grudges against some Christians to justify your continuation of sin.

So go ahead and chase mini skirts, leave your wife and son...keep screwing other women in rebellion against God...and if He cannot get you to repent during your life time, you will end up in hell with those who live their lives in the same manner....because you simply do not want to yield to Him.

Your choice.

Last edited by Forever; 6th October 2011 at 04:52 PM.
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Old 17th October 2011, 11:33 PM   #20
overfiftyman
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

I am a Muslim, the general advice for me seems to be correct theoretically, but many Muslims don't know the religion or misunderstood, culture override religion or mixed with.
So, you will get marriage problems also when you marry with such kind of Muslim.

I think all we need marriage course to learn how to make our spouse happy, how solve everyday disagreements, make our marriage healthy and keep going.

Those Muslims practicing Islam, have a good social skills, good behave, the chance is there for a healthy marriage.
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Old 18th October 2011, 01:20 PM   #21
Raymond
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

This site is for good marriages Over Fifty whatever one's religion. I think the principles exist and are common to all marriages. Of course nobody has a monopoly on it, only a point of view or belief. It would be nice to hear from muslim women to see if they say they are happy in their marriages.
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Old 19th October 2011, 12:15 AM   #22
1aokgal
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

Itsasecret...

You did not seriously come to this discussion to hear what others had to say. Your heart is a piece of coal, burned black from self pity, and lack of integrity. You talk about religion. You said that 20 years of instititutional religions only made you sink deeper. That is because God granted man FREE CHOICE. It is by YOUR choice today you are sick and sad beyond belief. You have nothing to believe in to keep yourself from sliding more and more into the pit of really immoral living to do what you feel like and you ignore how your actions hurt others.

You must have been raised Catholic, as many of us were, because you mention the confessional. It would be untrue to say that all priests are pedophiles, as it is also untrue to say that all men visit brothels. A few weak, selfish men do that. Most men with a wife and family would bever conceive of such an act. They have personal pride and don't commit adultery and fornication. They love their families and have moral strength to avoid such conduct.

What is rather most disgusting is that moan and groan of yours about irrelevant issues to throw as smoke screen argument against belief in God or any formal religion. You talk about the custom of Santa at Xmas. Christmas is a celebration of the birth Of Jesus Christ. The St. Nicholas custom/Santa actually came from Nicholas, who was born during the third century in the village of Patara. At the time the area was Greek and is now on the southern coast of Turkey.

His wealthy parents, who raised him to be a devout Christian, died in an epidemic while Nicholas was still young. Obeying Jesus' words to "sell what you own and give the money to the poor," Nicholas used his whole inheritance to assist the needy, the sick, and the suffering. He dedicated his life to serving God and was made Bishop of Myra while still a young man. Bishop Nicholas became known throughout the land for his generosity to the those in need, his love for children. The custom began there but spread to other countries, that on Dec. 6th, is the custom of St. Nicholas. It is not celebrated on the 25th as it is in America. A man dresses in long red robe comes to the door to bring candy/treats to children. That is still celebrated in Germany and other countries. There is nothing anti-religious or paganstic about the custom that became Santa Claus in America. It is a festival for children and a time of celebration.

You have no soapbox for any religious discussion to bring you here, except your own miserable life. You paraded that fiasco out here with gusto, on your part. You trumpeted about your whoremongering. You identify that as a good lifestyle.
OK, as long as your money holds out you will get laid with some sexual variety, which is transitory and temporary. Doubtless, you will end up alone. You sow a future to be disliked by your child for an immoral husband who hurt his mother. You are a poor father, who sets a scandalous example for anyone to hear about. Perhaps you will end up in a disease ward, syphilitic like my grandfather, but certainly old and reviled by your family. You will be an outcast among decent people.

I feel very sorry for you because you throw happiness away with both hands while you embrace a
sin-filled lifestyle. My pity doesn't mean you should go unchallenged on your hogwash here!
If you seriously want to discuss religion, you would go take a few classes. You wouldn't keep posting here, "this is your last post." Meanwhile you try to bait some on here who really live their faith. They are rich beyond compare. You, in comparison are a very sick poor man, emotionally bankrupt.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 21st October 2011 at 07:17 PM.
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Old 19th October 2011, 12:56 AM   #23
1aokgal
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

Dear overfifty..

I have several muslim friends. They are very nice people and love their families and work very hard.
It caused me to read and learn more about others and that is always a good thing.

Show me two people who always agree on everything. Marriage is joining two people with all their diverse personalities. Most of us have gotten really upset a few times with our mate. Sometimes
we have to do a slow count to calm it down. Later, when the moment passed we forgot why we feel that way. I am so laid back usually, I am comatose, but there have been times when I could toss a lemon pie at him. Maturity is thinking through those times and keeping ones' mouth shut!

Last edited by 1aokgal; 19th October 2011 at 03:40 AM.
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Old 19th October 2011, 02:30 AM   #24
1aokgal
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

Raymond..

Has your nose been twitching with your knowledge about the eggs, Easter bunny and such? You are a great guy to help out the easter bunny. He is a real favorite of mine!
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Old 19th October 2011, 03:25 AM   #25
chosen
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

Quote:
Originally Posted by abely View Post
yah sure no one said you can’t enjoy and celebrate and have fun nor i am trying to stop anyone, but i do feel the same as you, as its nothing to do with Christianity... and it shouldn’t be put to people that way... I wouldn’t have an issue if it was just a symbol for spring and new life celebration... i just disagree with the saying of "its part of Christianity" thats all... Its like someone telling me that valentine's day is part of Christianity... i don’t have an issue with valentine's day but it’s not part of this religion! Sure God loves to have us celebrate love... but it shouldn’t be put under his name as part of the religion, its a cultural thing same as Easter.. so if someone asks what does Christians celebrate as part of their religion? Easter shouldn’t be on the list!... hope that explains what I mean...
Yes it does, but Easter is the most important date for the Christian as well as the birth of Jesus.What people do at easter is up to them, but its what we are remembering, and the fact that we are celebrating the amazing sacrifice of Jesus that matters. If that includes a bit of giving chocolate I cant see the problem. Easter is vital for believers.
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Old 14th May 2015, 12:34 PM   #26
soniagupta
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

Yet we are considering failures in marriages all around us. Family fights are on the rise, women and children are being abused and many families are falling apart. More and more marriages are ending up in divorce even amongst the most religious of families, and the Muslims are no exception.
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Old 14th May 2015, 06:26 PM   #27
ralfgarnett
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Smile Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

Quote:
Originally Posted by chosen View Post
The difference is that Christisns are told by God not to marry those who arent Christians, and life has shown me that this is the most sensible advise to follow. Other wise there will always be conflict. We need to be able to share this most important part of our lives with our spouse.
I never knew that, how inconvenient I will have to cancel the order I have just placed for a thai bride, I wonder if I can get my deposit back ?.

Last edited by ralfgarnett; 14th May 2015 at 06:33 PM.
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Old 14th May 2015, 07:17 PM   #28
chosen
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
I never knew that, how inconvenient I will have to cancel the order I have just placed for a thai bride, I wonder if I can get my deposit back ?.
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Old 14th May 2015, 09:24 PM   #29
Lindentree1
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
I never knew that, how inconvenient I will have to cancel the order I have just placed for a thai bride, I wonder if I can get my deposit back ?.


lol........
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Old 16th January 2019, 08:50 AM   #30
Naseeb
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Re: Muslim marriage general advice...

Thank you for sharing your post. I would highly encourage to take advice from a relationship expert or ask yourself a question what can go wrong in a relationship. If a Muslim woman is working, you must understand her perspective. You can read the following blog.
What Professional Muslim Women are Looking for In a Husband
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