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Old 17th October 2015, 01:05 PM   #1966
chosen
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
I think the issue got fudged early on as we agreed to remain on good terms and we were meeting up regularly and getting on very well as we always did, then she obviously changed her mind somewhere along to line but didn't have the guts or the heart to tell me, and I think that is where the situation started to become blurred.
thats why you need to be proactive and make sure that you find out for good what her future plans are . I think you need that closure from her to be able to move on.

I dont suppose she would agree to talk to me by email?
Does she have a close friend or family member she confides in you could talk to?
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Old 17th October 2015, 05:09 PM   #1967
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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thats why you need to be proactive and make sure that you find out for good what her future plans are . I think you need that closure from her to be able to move on.

I dont suppose she would agree to talk to me by email?
Does she have a close friend or family member she confides in you could talk to?
Wow Chosen what an offer, thank you so much, however I reckon at this moment she wouldn't speak to you, me, archbishop makarios, butros butros gali, pope Gregory 9th, president Taft, Roger Daltry, Dennis Law, Bruce Forsythe, Bruce Fivesythe, Geoff Hurst, Mike Brearley, Derek Underwood, Floella Benjamin, Valerie Singleton or indeed anyone about our dying marriage, but I appreciate your offer so very much that I will keep it in my pocket just in case if that's ok with you ?, the other thing is that to the best of my knowledge she doesn't know anything about this or any other thread I am involved in and I want to keep it that way, as this lengthy thread is so varied and some of my postings could incriminate me with my views, observations, blogs, and musings etc.

No we don't have a crossover of friends or family that she confides in that could be a mediator, tried that in April with the priest and whilst polite she knocked him back so a bit of a no goer, I dealt with it at the time and went over to Huddersfield on the real ale trail and had some of the best bangers and mash I have had in years, nearly as good as mine.

I had an appointment this morning, and on my way home I stopped at the borough cemetery to put some flowers down for my parents and her dad as it is his birday next week, I was slightly surprised in a nice way to find fresh flowers in my parents flower thing, this means that both she and her mum are still placing flowers down for them and are still showing respect to them, this tells me she still has an elephant of decency about her which I had started doubting, I thought she had become an ignorant, ill mannered, disrespectful, mal-adjusted scum bag, but apparently not I am pleased to say, maybe inside she is still the soft spoken, well mannered, well educated, well brought up, sweet, pretty raven haired green eyed beauty that I used to love so much and was loved by so much, must admit I was very pleased because I don't get over to the crem as much as I used to, and I know its her and not my 2 brothers as neither of them 2 pillocks ever go, it was only she and I that maintained our parents plaques and flowers.

Whilst over there I placed poppies on the graves of the many WW1 CWGC headstones that lie there, one in particular is a private none-CWGC grave that had fallen in to ruin when we found it, and we used to go every few weeks to tend to it, he was 19 when he died in 1918 and we felt a bond with him and also the need to commemorate his life as nobody else was, I have written his story on our council website, as both local businessman and local WFA member I sit on the councils grants and commemorations committee for the 1914-1918 war, we are fast approaching once again November 11th and that is now 2 years in to our 100th years anniversary, lest we all forget, at the going down of the sun and in the morning we will remember them always.

I could murder a bowl of sherry triful right now, my mum a none drinker, used to bloody lace the triful with so much sherry at xmas you could get totally bongoed on it, being tea total she didn't realise the strength of it, it was the best bit of xmas dinner for us as kids, my dear old maiden aunt used to go home with a face redder than ruddy santa himself may god rest her soul.

Ps, does anyone else think that Michael Parkinson looks like a deranged lunatic in those life insurance adverts he does ?.

Pps, has anyone else been watching and enjoying Cradle to Grave on Thursday nights with Peter Kay ?, I don't usually watch those modern comedies but as a kid growing up in the 70's it is very very funny and well written, never been keen on Danny Baker who's young life story it is, always thought him a Millwall b-stard but this has been really good.

Last edited by ralfgarnett; 17th October 2015 at 05:33 PM.
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Old 17th October 2015, 05:56 PM   #1968
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Ah ralf you are a kind man, and funny. That did make me laugh what you said about you wife not talking to all those people. needed that laugh today as my husband has just lost out on some work again, and we are pretty desperate:-(
How sad that the young mans grave isnt cared for, but I guess his relatives are long gone now:-( SO tragic:-(

Please do bear in mind what I said, I am wiling to talk to her any time. No I dont watch that not mad on Peter Kay. I am into Downton right now(lOVE that programme) and a couple of good police dramas that are on( I think one is called 'forgotten' cant remember what the other is called). Also like Lewis which has just started again, my older daughter lives in Oxford and its nice to see the lovely buildings in the programme.
Google box is also very entertaining if a bit rude at times. 'Would I lie to you' also very funny.
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Old 17th October 2015, 07:40 PM   #1969
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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Ah ralf you are a kind man, and funny. That did make me laugh what you said about you wife not talking to all those people. needed that laugh today as my husband has just lost out on some work again, and we are pretty desperate:-(
How sad that the young mans grave isnt cared for, but I guess his relatives are long gone now:-( SO tragic:-(

Please do bear in mind what I said, I am wiling to talk to her any time. No I dont watch that not mad on Peter Kay. I am into Downton right now(lOVE that programme) and a couple of good police dramas that are on( I think one is called 'forgotten' cant remember what the other is called). Also like Lewis which has just started again, my older daughter lives in Oxford and its nice to see the lovely buildings in the programme.
Google box is also very entertaining if a bit rude at times. 'Would I lie to you' also very funny.
You are kind Chosen, I have also lost an 11 y/o contract this week through no fault of my own, I just pick myself up, dust myself down, and pick up the phone, not easy and not for everyone but its the only solution to business blues.

Not mad on Peter Kay myself but he isn't Peter Kay in this he is a cockney and plays it really well and I don't like cockney programmes ie Only Fools or eastenders etc I hate them, which is why I am so surprised I am hooked on cradle to grave but hey ho.

Yes the young mans grave was derelict before until WAW I / we got our mitts on it, now I keep it pristine and yes his family are no longer around but he died 97 years ago but you know how I feel about WW1 it is in my heart and soul and while I have a breath in my body I will remember them, that is part of being WFA we are charged with the honour of perpetuation of that lost generation and by gum I am proud to wear the poppy and WFA insignia whenever I can no matter where I am in the world, I wore it in Germany last November not to be confrontational but to show solidarity with their month of mourning also, I love Germany and the German people even though the Luftwaffe bombed Dublin, Malta, and even our chippy, I trust you and I have pm'd you the article I wrote that has been placed on our MBC website.

I promise you I will keep your offer in my back pocket I just need to find the correct way to deal with it appropriately, thanks again most appreciated xx.

Ps dont forget dads army tonight, a great episode, mainly featuring Cpl Frazer played by the late great John Laurie for both me and WAW the best character in the whole wonderful Dads Army story, a WW1 veteran himself and suffered with effects all his life as did the also great Arnold Ridley (Pte Godfrey).

Last edited by ralfgarnett; 17th October 2015 at 07:50 PM.
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Old 17th October 2015, 09:34 PM   #1970
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Boy, a lot of shows you all have mentioned aren't broadcast over here. Sounds lovely, though. There is a new show over here called "crazy ex-girlfriend." It is so silly I couldn't help but enjoy it. Only one episode so far but a new one coming on Monday. It's been awhile since I looked forward to a show. Slightly zany is fun sometimes.
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Old 17th October 2015, 10:09 PM   #1971
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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Boy, a lot of shows you all have mentioned aren't broadcast over here. Sounds lovely, though. There is a new show over here called "crazy ex-girlfriend." It is so silly I couldn't help but enjoy it. Only one episode so far but a new one coming on Monday. It's been awhile since I looked forward to a show. Slightly zany is fun sometimes.
You are so sweet and lovely LDT your WAH must be a flaming lunatic, he will regret it one day I know I would.
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Old 18th October 2015, 12:07 AM   #1972
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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You are so sweet and lovely LDT your WAH must be a flaming lunatic, he will regret it one day I know I would.
Thanks, Ralf. You're so kind.
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Old 19th October 2015, 05:02 PM   #1973
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

i am struggling again today, I just cant get her out of my mind and I just cant believe she is gone from my life forever and we will never be a couple again or share and enjoy all our wonderful things together ever again, I'm going to send that email later this week, if I get no reply or a rebuke then im going to sell up and move to Vietnam.
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Old 19th October 2015, 05:19 PM   #1974
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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i am struggling again today, I just cant get her out of my mind and I just cant believe she is gone from my life forever and we will never be a couple again or share and enjoy all our wonderful things together ever again, I'm going to send that email later this week, if I get no reply or a rebuke then im going to sell up and move to Vietnam.
vietnam?????

Yes send that email. Just do it. Ask her to please reply asap, after all its not hard to just send you an email.
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Old 19th October 2015, 06:03 PM   #1975
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Sorry you're struggling, Ralf. I think sending the email is a good idea.
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Old 19th October 2015, 07:16 PM   #1976
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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vietnam?????

Yes send that email. Just do it. Ask her to please reply asap, after all its not hard to just send you an email.
Yep Vietnam, cheap as chips, great food, good beer, loads of fresh veg, fruit, and fish, sell the house and cash in my insurances, buy myself a pointy hat and find myself a pretty Vietnamese girl and live happily ever after, I speak pretty good French so language "Pas de problem" until such time as I learn fluent Vietnamese which should only take me a year or two, bring my 2 kitties with me and make sure they stay away from restauranters, life could be blissfull over there I might never even need to work again it's so cheap I believe, yep sending the email this week sometime.
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Old 19th October 2015, 07:26 PM   #1977
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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Yep Vietnam, cheap as chips, great food, good beer, loads of fresh veg, fruit, and fish, sell the house and cash in my insurances, buy myself a pointy hat and find myself a pretty Vietnamese girl and live happily ever after, I speak pretty good French so language "Pas de problem" until such time as I learn fluent Vietnamese which should only take me a year or two, bring my 2 kitties with me and make sure they stay away from restauranters, life could be blissfull over there I might never even need to work again it's so cheap I believe, yep sending the email this week sometime.
I guess you could buy a wife like so many western men do?
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Old 19th October 2015, 08:33 PM   #1978
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

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I guess you could buy a wife like so many western men do?
Yes I know of this and it's distasteful and totally not my style or way of doing things, never paid for a woman in my life and not going to start now .
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Old 19th October 2015, 08:35 PM   #1979
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

bring my 2 kitties with me and make sure they stay away from restauranters

I'm sure it's bad that I laughed at that but I couldn't help myself, lol.
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Old 19th October 2015, 09:42 PM   #1980
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Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

cant think of many worse places to live than the Far east.......................
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