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Old 19th March 2017, 05:38 AM   #1
Seren
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How to move on

Two weeks ago I found out my husband of 12 years has been having an affair. It's been going on for almost a year. To say I'm devastated is an understatement. They have completely ripped my world apart. I haven't been eating or sleeping and my work has suffered.
Since then I have tried desperately to make things work between us but he isn't interested.
When he returned from being with her today we had a huge argument and both said things I'm sure we didn't mean but things that can never be forgiven.
Every time I close my eyes all I can see is them together.
We live in a rented property and money is tight so neither of us can move until the end of the tenancy in August. She won't allow him to move in with her.
As I sit here now, although I'm struggling I do accept our marriage is over.
I am going to try my hardest to steer clear of him, but I know what I'm like. I'm going to find it difficult not talk/shout/scream at him.
My emotions have been like a roller coaster and I don't know how to move on. I feel like I want to sit in the house just so I can monitor when he goes out and comes back but on the other hand I know that will do me no good.
I feel guilty because despite everything I still love him.
I'm worried about my future, the security, finances but most of all I am worried I will never love again.
I know it's still raw but any advice on how I deal with this would be appreciated.
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